Trying to reconnect.

[loonylupinlover]

The past few days I have been feeling very disconnected and lonely at times. It has been puzzling to me, trying to figure out why

Comments

[evilnel]

I know you know it, but I'm going to say it anyway: YOU HAVE NOTHING TO BE ASHAMED OF! You are adjusting to a new job and career, and all the uncertainty and nerves surrounding that can make it really hard to be anywhere near functional at anything. It sounds like you're trying really hard to tend to work and Ben but you also need to tend to yourself. As you know, you can't be successful in other areas if you're emotionally bankrupted by everything you're doing. You NEED that alone time. Maybe you need to prioritize for now. You can't work out and track food and write and draw and bird all at once right now--it's just too much. But maybe you can do some of those things some of the time. Maybe pick which is most important for you (and most feasible) such as watching your food intake OR resolving to get in more hiking or physical activity on weekends (not necessarily both) and pick a hobby and resolve to dedicate 30 minutes to it twice a week, and then try not to think of it as withdrawing from Ben but as fueling yourself so you can

[loonylupinlover]

Thank you Gwen! <3

[soleta_nf]

Wow, the first comment has nailed this on the head, I think! Not much to add, except that I agree and you should definitely take care of yourself first. It's how to maintain the good that is in your work and love life right now (and make sure it stays there!) and make you much happier and satisfied. I actually can really relate to this -- I think I'm in the same position now, even if the details are different. I am doing way too much and I'm exhausted. My tarot cards keep telling me to do less, and I'm like, "But I did nothing on Sunday. It was a "me" day. What more do you want?" But apparently I should be letting go of a lot more things. Sigh. Anyway. It's hard to not try so hard (...I know how strange that sounds, but I have the same problem!). We can be insecure and so we overcompensate by doing too much, not paying attention to our inner selves and the things WE need. It's time to be selfish (just a little bit). As the tarot card I keep getting says, let go of a few of your tasks so that you can complete the rest of your tasks

[loonylupinlover]

Thank you for commenting <3 I've been meaning to consult my tarot cards lately. They always seem to call out to me in times of uncertainty. It doesn't quite feel like I'm trying so hard, but it feels as if I keep taking the 'easy' way out, which is 'hanging out in a rut.' But I definitely have that feeling of not paying attention. Instead of being too busy to pay attention it feels like I keep distracting myself with other things. Reading the Internet but not interacting with it, TV, alcohol to some extent. I feel like my butt is permanently sunk into the couch some days. :(

Ack! I need to send your package out :) I have a day off tomorrow, I might be able to do it then after picking up a few extra things :)

[tobu_ishi]

*hugs* I still drop through LJ from time to time. I know we're badly out of touch, but even I can tell you've got nothing to be ashamed of, love. I hope you feel better as soon as possible. ♥

[themeadowlark]

Hey you. (hugs). I'm sorry to hear you are feeling this way. I think we all get there sometimes... adulthood is not all it is cracked up to be. I have a long commute too, half an hour with perfect traffic and traffic is rarely perfect. I don't exercise like I should and have gained some weight/not totally happy with my body, I don't spend enough time on my hobbies, don't reach out to my friends as often as I wish I did. When you are putting so much in at work and dealing with a commute, personal energy for personal time can disappear just like that. I think evilnel had some really great advice in her comment - stuff I could benefit from too! One thing I'm really sad about, is that I still haven't written my christmas cards. I still want to, cause you sent me such a fantastic one, but i'm pretty darn embarrassed i've let it slide so long!!! maybe it'll be a happy february card? Mostly, I guess I'm trying to say I miss you, and I'm sorry you are dealing with this crap. (hugs)