a feeling of angst has swooped
tackling me
ass over head
binding my hands
forcing salt-fingers over my mouth
hard
squeezing
forcing me
pummeling me
kicking me,
spitting me on me
calling me cruel names.

The only thing different between me and the other girl is the propensity
to dispense sardonic venom.

when i was 13, my parents wanted to throw me a party. i waited until the last minute to invite people and, of course, those i did invite had other engagements. now, i know waiting until the last minute is not the best way to get people to come to a party. the thing is, i didn't feel comfortable inviting anyone to begin with because i didn't feel ( Read more... )

nothing. that's what i feel. that's what i think. that's what the world is. that is what my world is. i say that and i think how fucked up i am. i think that and then she does something amazing. something so pure and beautiful and full of wonderment and sunshine and rainbows and then i'm transported to a place where her imagination directs her ( Read more... )

The older I get the more emotional I become during my cycle. Yesterday afternoon, I'd gotten out of class early and had a few moments that didn't require my attention, so I plunked my happy ass in front of the TV. On comes a Duh-bya campaign commercial wherein a little girl loses her mother in the 911 tragedy and is distraught until the Prez gives ( Read more... )

"Daddy! I'm. Done. Going. Poopie!"

"You have to come NOW"

Usually, I'm the one summoned for butt-wiping detail.

My standards for what makes me happy have greatly diminished.

I had my first class of the semester today at "U will Never Finish." This place...eh, there are no words. Because of the jacked up way they do things (who the fuck starts Fall registration IMMEDIATELY after spring ends?!), the paltry selection of classes, and most prereqs scheduled at the same day/time, I am not going to be able to graduate next ( Read more... )

Lying on my bed. G jumping all around to PIL.

Happy moment!

Day three of "the week to myself" is going splendidly. After dropping G off at school (I rode the bike), two other moms and I strolled over to a coffee shop for breakfast and, of course, coffee. It is so nice to be able to sit and enjoy a meal and conversation with other adults without having to settle down a rambunctious, antsy, four-year-old. ( Read more... )

My little Molly McCutie VonPupperstein looks so happy and content sleeping on the rug next to my bed. After I sent Grace off to school and Dan off to work I took her on a good long walk, washed her and gave her a munchy chip. While washing her, I wet her down with the hose and adjusted the nozzle so I could water-massage that sweet spot on her ( Read more... )

This is the first time all summer that I've had the house COMPLETELY to myself. Grace started school today and Dan is at work. The whole week will be like this! This will be a good time to paint Grace's room. Hmmm, maybe even move her from her toddler bed?