Okay, so things are looking up. You have someone putting food on the table - that sounds good. You have someone running fingers through your hair - also good. You have someone’s fingertips gently brushing your lips - great ( Read more... )

Yes, that's right. Even though you've been to, it seems like 30 shows in the past 7 weeks, Addictol is having yet another one. The good news is, you can't go. The tickets are all but sold out. So when they are gone, that's it.


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"You're too lazy to develop a heroin habit."

When making cookies from a recipe, you cannot have in your ingredients "1 package (16.5 ounces) Pillsbury Create 'n Bake refrigerated peanut butter cookies, well-chilled ( Read more... )

So, now you’re out at a yuppie club. What the hell are you thinking? Look at the girls there. Half of them have fake IDs. You know how you can tell? They have no hips. These are not full grown women. And their clothing? Their wardrobe doesn’t look like their mother dressed them. That would be an improvement over the random collection of ( Read more... )

So I check in on Professor Krugman and I find a post on Susanne Vega! If you read the Krugman post you will find that I’m quoting him in my title and that the quote refers to songwriting. Oddly, I have the same problem. It’s a little weirder for me though, since I write songs. It has been suggested that I go and learn a bit about the process. ( Read more... )

The day you've all been dreading: Addictol @ the Funhouse tonight. The show is at 9:00, so don't be late or you will miss all the fun. There will be dancing, dining and debauchery. Then I will go to the Funhouse and put on a show for you. Don’t miss it or you will regret it when I come to your house and give you a moment by moment recital of ( Read more... )

I went to The Stranger yesterday to pitch a new column: Dating for Misanthropes. It did not go well. Two reasons. First, apparently everyone already knows that the only good advice you can give a misanthrope considering dating is “don’t.” Second, and this relates to the first, is that The Stranger (along with, they assure me, every other ( Read more... )

You know how I create flyers which contain nearly naked women who will not be at the show? Well, for the moment I don't have a flyer (which is lame, the show is in 6 days), but this time there really will be one of those girls there:




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I have a show on April 15 (all the fun of doing taxes, without that annoying refund), and I need a third band to fill out the bill.

Suggestions?