having impulses to SI. ugh. i think my sickness is coming back. I can't sleep, it's 4am... i took a "nap" at 7pm and didn't wake up until 1am. blah.. off to read or something until i can fall asleep. <3,

-molliebear

Molliebear is tired of being sick!!!!!!!!!! ugh. yuck.

-molliebear

So it's been a weird day. My doggie had to be put to sleep :'( so that was the sad part. i didn't get to say goodbye to him either, he was living at my mom's house. I told my mom that my real fiance is my roommate and not some fictional person i'd made up to lie to her. I didn't want her to disapprove of me being engaged to someone i live with. I ( Read more... )

work was okay. registers went offline for a couple minutes (which equates to utter hell in retail) so we had to manually enter each and every price for each item. I only worked for four hours today but we were busy as hell and i almost had to cover jewelry (which i HATE). yeah, my SO is "away" and i miss her :'( blah. not much else to say. might go ( Read more... )

having a hard time today. wanting to self injure so badly. i really want to OD, not the "kill yourself" kind, just the sleep for hours kind. i cant do that though. listening to music to try and ease the impulses. im tired of feeling so alone. i love my gf but i feel so dead inside i feel like i dont deserve her. i feel so crappy right now, ugh. i ( Read more... )

had a dissociative day. i survived through yesterday, all be it by stuffing but whatev. I see Lew and my pdoc tomorrow. Things are looking up for the time being but I am just numb. i dunno what i feel. i feel like i have no friends, i know that much. i dont have much else to say. off ( Read more... )

2 wisdom teeth out, one to go! It really wasn't as bad as I though it'd be and my case was "complicated" because my root was crooked and some other reason. My left side is oozing still though (yuck!). I'm doing pretty good, utilizing the Percocet but I'm going to try the Ibuprofen more often then the percocet. my jaw hurts mostly because of the TMJ ( Read more... )

So one of my housemates moved out today. It's kinda cool, it gives me hope that i'll get the hell out of here. My ankle is acting up on me again and it hurts like a bitch right now. I miss Dawn and Sam. I feel like I need SP again but i can't go. I have a lot of self harm thoughts and impulses raging through my head. One person that I thought was ( Read more... )

I feel alone. I hate my life right now. I want to be skinny and happy and empty. I want to have friends who don't hurt me, who don't say hurtful things. i feel like no one cares about me. like i am really evil and deserving of bad things like my dad said. his b-day is coming up and im scared. easter was rough too. im scared to even say that because ( Read more... )

im having a crappy time. one of my "friends" is pissed at me b/c of who i am dating. it hurts. she said some really mean things. i hate me.

-molliebear