Last night we fell asleep on the porch under blankets, right next to the rain. Tripping yesterday was sad and really pretty. We were looking for something, something we used to think we could find and were finding, but now are not. We were in a series of scenes from a movie, each scene with its own room and lighting and tone of conversation. We ( Read more... )

geez i just got home and just realised i'm a bit drunk. this week is insane. mountaingoats on thursday was wonderful, reeve on saturday (+ dance party) was also good. monda y was greuling. i love my friends, most of them. and i am going to finally move out soon hopefiully. this week has been ruined by: becca scheduling me 6 days a week ( ( Read more... )

i keep saying to myself that this is a stupid way to vent my thoughts, but maybe it's the perfect place; i have a need to tell everything and this is a way to feel like i'm telling someone when in fact no one is really listening ( Read more... )

I went on a trip to Santa Cruz/Berkeley for a few days. It made me lonely and drunk and wondering what the heck I'm doing with my life. I got to know a couple people better that it turns out I really like and I got to see some people I already knew I liked and I also had several extremely good meals. But I was only in Berkeley for one drunken ( Read more... )

the past three weeks or so (pretty much since break started) have been quite a mess and i didn't even realise it until just now. i feel really fucking stupid and embarassed about the way i have been thinking and acting lately. so the beginning of a new year seems as good a time as any to start over. i'm going to stop being such a flake to the ( Read more... )

I want something to hit me so hard that I break ( Read more... )

today nothing happened. except i was going through stuff and found my essay about portrait of an artist from high school.

here are some pictures:


( Read more... )

blah blah blah

you know that moment when everything falls apart? i used to live inside that moment. i am glad i don't live there any more, because i could not have lasted much longer. yet i still visit that moment often and, in some ways, it is a worse affliction to live in the path of constantly pending plummets.

"I am healthy, I am whole ( Read more... )