Why...

[lostinpandas]

...am I such a pussy?

...am I afraid to say what I feel?

...am I afraid to talk about anything at all with me?

...do I settle for less?

...do I feel so numb?

...do I let people walk all over me?

...can't I make decisions, but instead make everyone else decide for me?

...am I lazy?

Why?

Comments

[renaissancegerl]

That job is located in LA. Have you been considering? I was serious about what I said earlier about the job opening here (in OC) but I understand that circumstances make it "unpossible."

We should talk...

PS: You are NOT a pussy. You are NOT lazy.

[lostinpandas]

Well I doubt I'd get the position because they are a huge design company with high standards, but as far as the requirements go I could at least apply.

And if I were to get the position, as you already know, I doubt I could take it.

I don't know... I really want to get out of Philly, but so many things keep me here. Sometimes I wonder if I really don't want to get out and I just subconsciously make up excuses to keep myself here.

We should talk...

[renaissancegerl]

But you are a great web designer/developer with high standards also. I honestly think so and I'm not "just saying."

If you were to come here and you needed a job, I would talk to my boss about you taking the new position. It's javascript mostly and you are more than qualified for it.

Anyways, apply for the job above - even if you don't think you can really take it in the end. Why not? Maybe things will change two weeks from now... who knows.

I know what you mean about "getting out." I wanted to get out of LA a couple years back but I just couldn't do it. But if I left, my life would be so different from now. Who knows - maybe I was meant to stay? Are you meant to stay?

[lostinpandas]

I don't know if I'm meant to stay. Family, Friends, and Joey are the reason I stay, other than that there's nothing for me here...