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I don't have many defining gay qualities. But on the rare occasional I let loose, I have the undeniable desire to track down and compile all the moments where Miss Piggy karate chops her way between Kermit and a potential love interest and play it all back to Girlfriend by Avril Lavigne. And seeing as I'm not the kind motivated enough to fully ( Read more... )

I think maybe if somebody asked me to describe Samoans from Pacifics I might say they are the Mexicans of Spanish people. Or, the Koreans of Asians.

Which might sound wrong if I they didn't know I liked Mexicans so much.

Speaking of those half-naked floral islanders, look how much we've corrupted their youth.

My favorite is Fiddy there, looking oh so ( Read more... )

So my bill from the Motorcycle Mechanics Institute came home today. It was half of what I anticipated. Here's to overestimated expectations!

I am undecided. Must I be Liberal or Conservative? Do I have to pick sides? Can't I have a twist? A swirl? Can't I have both flavors? Can we keep what needs to stay and move on when we need to move on? Is religion an ice cream flavor? Pick what you like? Why do I feel cheap if I say yes? If church and state should be separate, shouldn't we not ( Read more... )

I asked a Maori man
What he thought of war

And he said to me, young man
Immoral is the moral of the story

I asked him why, then

Do you celebrate

With your sticks of war

He said, it was passed from man to man

To celebrate our old-timey clan

So let’s celebrate

I asked an Indian man

What he thought of war

And he said to me, deadpan

He said, immoral was the moral ( Read more... )

 Whenever I spot someone skin-reddeningly attractive, I am awkwardly aware that I am a total stranger to them. There is no way beauty attracts ugly. I wish I didn't think that way It is the wide divide between me and their pants. Then I wish I didn't think that way. The only function my brain chooses to operate is to go through a list of one-liners ( Read more... )

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So today me and Mr. Partypants watched silly kitty videos on my laptop till he fell asleep purring on my lap.

 I do like kissing girls full on the lilps though.