I recently went to the american Idol auditions in Chicago, I stayed overnight in the Stadium and met lots of great talented singers. We prepared for the audition process (my sister and brother) and got to the first stage of auditions. We were cut in the first process (there are two before you even get to Simon, Paula, and Randy). I was suprised ( Read more... )

So I am off to american idol tomorrow night. The audition is in Chicago on Friday, but you have to go down early to get in. I am going to sing God Bless the Child. It is sooo me right now. It has become my world, because it never made as much sense as it does now. I have alot to do, and a lot of sleep to get. Prayers are great if you can get in one ( Read more... )

Well I havent been on in a few days so I figure for those that are reading this, I better say something (otherwise you might think I am dead). I am getting settled in the idea that I live alone. The thought still scary, I enjoy the quietness of my own space. I have to go to work now, and my ride is here....

later

I am getting better about this. I have had some time to make a little bit of sense. It is interesting to see what your friends will do to help you. My friends are worth me getting better for.

Today has been one of those days. I literally had to hold on to the good things in my mind, repeating them over and over again to keep from breaking down. Its not easy. Its not easy trying to fight your struggle, and still seem sane to everyone else. Its harder to be happy. Its harder to feel that its going to be okay even when the next step you ( Read more... )

Everybody's got a thing ( Read more... )

I woke up this morning, with a new perspective. You can't grow trees inside, you can't produce crops of large massive living organizations by covering them. I had a dream that this unique situation that I was in was because of an attempt to cop out instead of dealing with an even bigger issue. I believe that, not just in dreaming but, also in ( Read more... )

I talked to my mom again today, she is helping me put back together the pieces of what has been torn apart, emotionally and physically. Its funny because I had always said that I was a bit of a loner. I didnt really connect with my family as much as I should have. But I went and had brunch with my dad today, and simply that. Just being in his ( Read more... )

I hate everything right now......

even myself

I have been talking to a friend of mine, and I recently spoke to him about situations that happen in my life, and how easily I become torn by them. Last night I couldnt sleep, I tossed and turned all night long because the pain in the pit of my heart was so strong. Its easier to believe that once it was over, it was easier forgotten, but in reality ( Read more... )