And to think I walked into the first urologist I found enough details on to suggest they were good with vasectomies, and he made it clear he wasn't particularly interested in my personal past or present, how many kids I had, or any demographics about me, just that he wanted to be sure that I understood the procedure and risks and that I was comfortable with them, and that was that.
Fuckers with fuckersauce, this privilege is truly unfair. *offers hugs*
Even so, I'm glad that at least you found someone who wouldn't fuss at you. Let's just say I've heard stories that suggest your privilege is only marginal.
I am so angry for you. And I'm even more pissed that this was a woman who treated you like that.
Then again, there are a lot of women who seem to think that because they have kids/changed their mind and decided that they wanted kids, everyone else is the same as them. And this is stupid.
I love my little monsters, don't get me wrong. I didn't really think I'd wind up having them, but the option was there and I went with it. The thing is, though, especially after having them-- I wouldn't wish pregnancy and parenthood on anyone who REALLY REALLY REALLY didn't want it.
If it's okay for someone to permanently alter their body in other ways-- and in ways which might limit particular opportunities in their lives (says she with multiple tattoos), why not this? Having children isn't a life obligation-- we're living in the year 2011 where women don't just have that as an option to them. And hell, what about breast implants?-- apparently they can make breastfeeding impossible-- yet people are a-okay with childless/free women getting them
( ... )
Rest assured that I will be framing this as a matter of choice, freely made, when I write to this practice, and it's looking like a when, not an if, now. I suspect some bias on the part of Dr. Duck. I wonder if she thought she didn't want children at one point? I wonder if she has them, or just wants them so intensely that she can't imagine any other outcome
( ... )
Wow. I wish I could say something like "that's not the norm" but it definitely is.
I'm widowed. Have been for more than 10 years. At the age of 40 I sought permanent sterilisation. I got a bunch of "What if you change your mind?" (is there something wrong with the one I have?), a plethora of cheek-pats and simpering "Poor deluded thing" looks (I don't even tolerate that patronising shit from my cats), a fuckload of a lot of "But your new man won't love you!" (because he'll love me more if I abandon my sense of self to bend down to peer pressure?), one offer to "cure my misunderstanding of how wonderful holding your own child is" (yes, by a physician, who actually checked his clock to make sure he had enough time), and an end-diagnosis of "Until you have your own you just don't understand what love is
( ... )
I wish I could say this was a rare story for me to hear--and yet. *sigh*
Irina, my current gyno, asked me the standard questions before she referred me, to include "And what if you get a new man?" I told her flat-out that Mister Right is Mister Hands Off My 'Nads. Her other biggest concern was for my sexual health, that I was still planning to use protection against STDs. Which, duh. I don't know if she knew that the practice had ceased to perform tubals, but I will give her the benefit of the doubt and mention it to her as an FYI, in case she gets any other patients in my shoes. She's been straight with me so far. I don't think she'd lie to me if she expected to keep my business.
I am still appalled that surgery is not allowed for women who do not want children, yet abortion is. Both are invasive, but no one dies in option 1. Win/win. Have they somehow forgotten that there are children all over the world that would love to have a family IF you somehow changed your mind in twenty years? I think that some people truly do not want children, and thus the way for them to not have children should be made easy and as painless as possible. You could always sell your eggs...I wonder if they can take ALL of them? :)
Alas, my dear, I know what the process of egg donation entails--we really can only pop out a handful of eggs at a time, or those suckers would be gone. *hugs you* Thanks for understanding my perspective on this.
That's really too bad. I did look at it after I wrote the reply and the process doesn't look incredibly pleasant. However, I must admit the 5-10K price tag did turn my head a bit ;) I suppose it makes medical sense that the eggs have to actually mature before they are harvested, but it would be really cool if they could just take them all from someone who wanted to be done and give them to someone who wanted them, wouldn't it? :)
They can't take all of my eggs at once, but I think I'd like to arrange to donate a few of mine. Sure, the kid runs a risk of needing glasses and psych meds, but if a couple can afford IVF, I should hope they can also afford to look after a child properly.
Thanks. *big hugs* I've got enough of my ma's stubbornness to counter the stupid. I'm rather like a pig: pull on my hind leg and I'll go forward. Way I see it, Dr. Duck just pulled my leg.
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Fuckers with fuckersauce, this privilege is truly unfair. *offers hugs*
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Then again, there are a lot of women who seem to think that because they have kids/changed their mind and decided that they wanted kids, everyone else is the same as them. And this is stupid.
I love my little monsters, don't get me wrong. I didn't really think I'd wind up having them, but the option was there and I went with it. The thing is, though, especially after having them-- I wouldn't wish pregnancy and parenthood on anyone who REALLY REALLY REALLY didn't want it.
If it's okay for someone to permanently alter their body in other ways-- and in ways which might limit particular opportunities in their lives (says she with multiple tattoos), why not this? Having children isn't a life obligation-- we're living in the year 2011 where women don't just have that as an option to them. And hell, what about breast implants?-- apparently they can make breastfeeding impossible-- yet people are a-okay with childless/free women getting them ( ... )
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I'm widowed. Have been for more than 10 years. At the age of 40 I sought permanent sterilisation. I got a bunch of "What if you change your mind?" (is there something wrong with the one I have?), a plethora of cheek-pats and simpering "Poor deluded thing" looks (I don't even tolerate that patronising shit from my cats), a fuckload of a lot of "But your new man won't love you!" (because he'll love me more if I abandon my sense of self to bend down to peer pressure?), one offer to "cure my misunderstanding of how wonderful holding your own child is" (yes, by a physician, who actually checked his clock to make sure he had enough time), and an end-diagnosis of "Until you have your own you just don't understand what love is ( ... )
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Irina, my current gyno, asked me the standard questions before she referred me, to include "And what if you get a new man?" I told her flat-out that Mister Right is Mister Hands Off My 'Nads. Her other biggest concern was for my sexual health, that I was still planning to use protection against STDs. Which, duh. I don't know if she knew that the practice had ceased to perform tubals, but I will give her the benefit of the doubt and mention it to her as an FYI, in case she gets any other patients in my shoes. She's been straight with me so far. I don't think she'd lie to me if she expected to keep my business.
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You could always sell your eggs...I wonder if they can take ALL of them? :)
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