i went to jabo's tonight. a bunch of my friends that i haven't seen in a while were there and it was really really good to see old, but familiar faces. it was honestly like no time passed at all. i miss them, and my life there. they all know me as i was before i came here and made a mess of myself. to them, seeing me the way i am now, they don't ( Read more... )

this is completely amazing to me. not in a good way either. now i've managed to go from bad to way worse. my relationship with jenna wasn't bad enough before i guess. in one day i went from not being able to be with the one person i'd most like to be (but still got to be around her at least) to her probably hating me by now and most likely not ( Read more... )

i give up.

im exhausted. over the last few days i've only slept for maybe 7 hours. the rest of that time has been spent with ethan (whom i love dearly) and working. it's been fairly brutal. the even more severe lack of sleep and long days have severely worn me down at this point. i didn't even realize it until now. i get to sleep in a little longer tomorrow, ( Read more... )

sunday is pretty good at the moment. i had a good day too. went to coffee with some old and current but oldschool friends, and had a great time. ethan came with and rachel and mike brought their kids as well. it was good to see sarah and aaron again. i miss the old people i used to know. so i brought ethan home, and only popped in and out long ( Read more... )

i'm enjoying a nice quiet sunday right now. the wind is kinda loud outside, and the monitor is full of feedback, but inside my head it's pretty quiet. i sorta try to find new ways every day to move on in life, which is to say i try to find avenues for travel that don't really involve reminders or even memories of jenna sometimes. this all sounds ( Read more... )

i think i really have to stop these all nighters between thursday and friday. in addition to being completely wiped out, i think it's messing up my sleep schedule even more. ugh. last night i got to sleep for a few hours after being awake for almost 30. all i wanted to do when i left lockport was go home to bed, but malucci wanted me to come to his ( Read more... )

so today went well. jenna woke me up at 9 this morning, which wasn't bad actually. i didn't need to sleep any longer. so, after i dozed again for a few, i took a shower and headed out to return her change. what we ended up doing was running a couple errands and just hanging out overall. it was cool. jenna got her groceries and we talked about how ( Read more... )

bored bored bored. i can't complain too much though because it's sunday and i really don't have anything that i have to do. rest day, ahhhh. i may watch football with the family today. i haven't quite decided that however. for now i'm playing video games in an attempt to keep my mind sharp and ready for anything. also, this serves to keep me from ( Read more... )

this afternoon/evening was pretty good too. first i chilled out at home for a few hours, and then i actually went to hang out with my mom and brothers to watch hockey. unfortunately, the sabres lost but it's kinda ok because they played like shit and it's only the beginning of the season. after the game, i went to anne's to watch ultimate fighting ( Read more... )