This is the story.  The real one, not the one that they made up.

I grew up not knowing.  I didn't know anything and I was okay with that.  All I did was do well in school because that seemed like the right thing to do, not for any other reason.  At the times of grade school and junior high, it wasn't a "determination" or "drive" that got me good ( Read more... )

All the way home, I wished that I felt the air outside, the rain coming down.

I wanted to tell someone who wouldn't ignore it.  Stop ignoring it.  I can't ignore it.  I'd love to be able to do that, but it's just not possible when I'm laying there staring at it.  Staring and staring and staring and thinking, Hmm.  I could do it.

I can't ignore that ( Read more... )

Where I live, there's supposed to be a big earthquake coming soon.  Like a really huge one.  And every night I lay in bed and think about it.  I keep thinking it's going to happen right then, and that I'm going to have to save everyone else.  I keep thinking, "One... Two... Three...  Now."  It doesn't happen then, but I know it's going to happen ( Read more... )

Yes, it did ruin my life.

And I'm sorry for such "harsh and poisonous" things.

But it's fucking true.

And I DON'T want to go to bed feeling like this ever again.

But it still happens  e v e r y   s i n g l e   n i g h t.

This time, it wasn't selfish ( Read more... )

     All I've been doing is sitting and watching and taking out their trash.  I wake up to it and go to sleep feeling the same way.  I feel out of place and I think a long trip would do me good.
     It's five and we're probably out.  Or almost.  That's always how it is.

It's kind of funny how they're oblivious to their addiction.

A little while ago I could breathe
And back then I could still speak
And oh, I swear you remind me
of the price of a bizarre antique

I waited a little while to breathe
And I opened my mouth to speak
And oh, I swear you're heading for
a million-year losing streak

A long while ago I sucked in a breath
And I opened my mouth and spoke
And oh, I swear if you ( Read more... )

     There is a wide, spacious hall, with floors and walls made of granite and marble.  Every surface is cold to the touch;  the air circulates normally.  The walls are dotted with various doors that have been placed at random ( Read more... )

Passing all the stop signs
On all these night drives
I'm picking up the the pieces and singing this song to you
I know it seems dead but I know we can make it though
This smile will never stop and now I will make it true.

And I feel fine

I feel fine.

     I feel so hopeless and frustrated right now because I'm trying so hard to remember everything.  My mind is truly an unfathomable thing.  I don't even get myself, and I don't know how to stop this.
     I was on this roller coaster, a big red one.  It was very fast with lots of loops.  I remember him being there, but I'm not sure if I knew ( Read more... )