To all who still find themselves here:

New journal at www.livejournal.com/~eyeheartwhy

Till we meet again...

Sometimes I check back, wondering if another has posted for me, or if I managed to update without my knowing it. There is nothing left for me here, right now. I should have known long ago, but should have is so confining. I always had hope for you and us, trying to make things right when I never could have. There are no answers for what we have ( Read more... )

Ah... once again I find myself in the haze that always occurs after finals are over. Fanon in bag, typing on a computer, I sink back into that slump. I just tried to remember all those wonderfully horrible websites I used to frequent so often. It has been in the back of my mind lately (next to z-scores and confindence intervals, I think). I ( Read more... )

You think I am an asshole. I think you are an idiot. I would rather be an asshole any day. This Jezebel won't take your sexist racist shit anymore. Your stereotyping makes it easy to see agents of the system.

Do you know what it is like to be fucked? To be treated like an animal, less than an animal, like an object? Do you know what it is like to know your only valued purpose is to be fucked? To lie there and take it in any orifice that it fits or can be made to fit? Do you know what it is to submit? Submissive to that giant penis in the sky? Do ( Read more... )

To withdraw your consent, however you can. It is difficult to begin this entry. Choosing where we withdraw our consent, how we withdraw our consent, to the abuse, exploitation, warfare that is forced upon us. To need someone is a choice. To allow oneself to need someone is a choice; withdrawing consent to the selfish individualism that kills on ( Read more... )

Good enough for now. Good enough to fuck. Good enough to say I love you. But really what is "good"? Ah, for me, good enough to destroy all capitalist competition. Good enough to stand by my word, ready to die in our war. Good enough to realize the capacity of such actions. Good enough to stay, to hold on, to plead, to squeeze, to not let go ( Read more... )

He tried to lock me up in that cold, dark closet. He stood behind me, watching me type this. He drilled holes in the back of my head. He shoved me, eschewed me, shunned me. He killed my baby. He killed my baby and didn't think it was enough. He punished me. He drove pangs of pain into me. He forced me to pretend. He avenged his manhood ( Read more... )

Sometimes a person can say something, that will stick with you for days. And your mind will run over it again and again. Because the reasons for selecting one sentence out of a million are not always clear. Feels like an instinct, like there is more to be said but... there wasn't. And days turn into weeks into... you've heard this one before. ( Read more... )

I'll be at the Tao of Tea if anyone wants me.