if this is the "real world" then i hate it. i'm sick of trying to stay positive. this world is full of ass holes and people who only want to take and take and take. people are mean in the "real world". not all people but too many people. i'm not pointing fingers. i take just as much credit as the next jerk ( Read more... )

i want to scream.

today i turned in an essay that was total rubbish. how embarrassing.

i wish i could erase you from my mind. so cliche. i was just looking at photos from back then. i had forgotten that there were actually really really good memories. i guess its hard to remember anything sweet when everything that followed went south. those happy photos made my stomach drop and angry tears appear. so the photos have to go, at least ( Read more... )

its time to put myself back on the map.

im having one of those need to "find my center" moments.

i have no right to be angry. so ill just waste my time being really sad. and then you can criticize me for it. ill waste my time thinking you are perfect. and ill waste my time thinking i will never never be good enough. i know i am a broken record, and i know you told me this would happen. i told me this would happen too, but it was too easy not ( Read more... )

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i suppose i had no right to expect so much from you but id say you definitely got the better end of the deal.

its terrible from every angle but i cant say anything because i am guilty too. i just want to get it all out. OUT OUT OUT.

and its aimless. if i try any harder i will end up hating myself. i'm sick of you doubting me.

im sitting here looking at all the photos i have stuck to my wall. they are all really special moments and i seem to remember each one as if it were yesterday. i can tell you where each one was taken, when it was taken, everything. i used to use my camera everyday. everyday i found something or someone extraordinary that i needed to remember. it ( Read more... )