i hate how i react to situations...as if i have no control. i do have control though...i contemplate what to do, and continually do that which i say i wont. im a jealous person. i hate that. i hate feeling like im not good enough, but knowing i am. sometimes im not even jealous, i just pretend like i am in order to evoke a reaction. but when im ( Read more... )

i'm awesome. the end.

term paper is done...yay. pulled an all nighter. haha. not even necessary, but you have to do it at least once during your high school career, or the experience just isnt the same. i love how if you stay up all night, the next day you have even more energy. heh ( Read more... )

ahh...ive been so busy lately. dance show is over...such a relief, but also sad. ill miss that class...and ( my whores. )

so. i have nothing to do. no one to see. nowhere to go. and i cant stay here.
and the weather keeps randomly changing. this morning we had a huge storm...and now its sunny.

i just want to be with her today. tonight.

everything seems so horrible at the moment...though there is no reason for it to be. i want this year to be over...the school year. i just need to get away from here. from everyone. then i actually think about people i know and realize i will miss them..terribly. and i know i will leave anyway. and everything will change. and i will like it some ( Read more... )

i love how quiet and serene everything is when no one is here. its relaxing. ive been so stressed lately, and to be able to just lie down all day and read is nice. i am rather lonely though...no one to talk to. well, no one id like to talk to. i hate this. heh..i am so selfish. i guess i wont always have everything the way i wish it would be.

animatronics frighten me. especially articles of clothing removed from them...well, maybe not clothing...but accessories.
coffee is quite wonderful when enjoyed in the company of little boys who fill it with half of a container of sugar and spend their morning talking of strippers.
i stayed awake today. yay.

DisorderRatingParanoid:ModerateSchizoid:LowSchizotypal:LowAntisocial:LowBorderline:ModerateHistrionic:HighNarcissistic:LowAvoidant:ModerateDependent:HighObsessive-Compulsive:High
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when you're in the room
it's all that i can feel
get so used to loving what's not real
there's nothing i can hold
no real tears to cry
you can't breathe life back to a lie