yesterdays photographs seem so old ( Read more... )

i am unhealthy. i feel sick. i feel fake. i don't feel like me. i smoked 2 cigarettes within 5 minutes. (maybe i exaggerated in the time. oh well.) all i want to do now is dig around for some unfinished cigarette butts and cry. i am starting to hate everyday that i wake up to. i go to school and smile and laugh and come home and want what i can't ( Read more... )

he told me that he wouldn't be here for me anymore. those are the worse words that you can ever tell a person that has the most happiest feeling in their stomach by just seeing you. it is like taking a knife and twisting it in the heart. it kills me thinking about it. i wish i could explain. his shirt was so warm. it felt so great to just bury ( Read more... )

wow. been a while. i was surprised i remembered my password on this thing. anyway. life. to sum it up. it is like a water hose with a massive blockage or kink in it. it is a little rough at the moment. i'm trying to adjust to things that i don't want to have to adjust to. school is seeming to be nothing but a time crunch. i am so tired by the end ( Read more... )

i'm the feeling like the lines on paper ( Read more... )

i figure i will let out my thoughts and frustration out on this diary. i know that nobody really reads it so i feel safe. gah... i can no longer take it. i am the type of person that loves to see affection. i loved to be touched. i loved to be held. i loved to be comforted. i loved to be told i'm love. i love playfulness. i love all these things ( Read more... )

its raining... its cold... its easter... oh it is a lovely day. heh i feel the urge to run outside and turn circles until i fall in the mud. i feel like maybe that childish reaction would or could help clear my head. just i don't know... one more week of school... one more... and a vacation from everything. *sigh* seems so far away... seems too far ( Read more... )

hmm... been a long gay day... been a while since i've updated too. i don't know... i've been a deer caught between headlights here lately... i don't think i should say very much more... but yeah... packing... feelings... emotions... vacation... piercings... music... school... sex? hmm.

hmm... what little detail do you need to know? ok... yesterday hung out with two very odd and way too girly girls for me... but hey they were gradeschool friends so i thought that would go over interesting. was a big birthday get together for one of them so i was just like ok thats cool... so i went. did the whole regular b-day junk... the cake... ( Read more... )

I took one out ( Read more... )