So, in mid March, I got some ugly stretch marks on my tummy, on my gut area...below the belly button. I was horrified. I know it sounds vain, but I freaked out a little bit. I was like, that's IT. My body is telling me I've gone past maximum capacity. It was noticable of course because I'm so pale. I started sleeping on my back only for a while ( Read more... )

OK, so I'm not exactly sure when it came about, but lately I've been doing this crazy thing called eating when I'm hungry, and stopping when I'm full. And not worrying about anything. I just eat when I'm hungry. I don't count calories or obsess about any of it. I accept myself as I am now. So I eat healthfully and exercise, but there's no self- ( Read more... )

Well, I ended up dropping the gym, as I should have known I would. I didn't like it much, the machines get so dull after so long, and the classes would have eventually too. I'm too much of a misanthrope to last long at a gym. I also didn't like one of the class instructors, who seemed to be there more for her own workout than to actually lead a ( Read more... )

So, here I am a month or so later, still the same. And you know what, I don't care ( Read more... )

Worked out for about 40 minutes today. I feel really good today, eating lots of fruit and veggies, drinking the water, getting good sleep for the most part, and working out. Sometimes I wonder if people look at someone average or slightly bigger and think they must not do anything for fitness when meanwhile, here I am working my ass off, probably ( Read more... )

Tonight I went for a walk/jog. I walked and jogged about half and half. I walked to warm up then jogged a few minutes, walked for 10, jogged some more, walked some more. The route I take is 3 miles round trip. I usually walk that in an hour, but tonight I got back about 10 minutes earlier. The thing that slows me down isn't breathing but shin ( Read more... )

Or fat year. I weighed myself on another scale this weekend at someone else's house and I realize now that the doctor's office scale must have been right. I weigh around 175, not 165. I should have known, I'm too big to be 165. I feel like a fat fuck. I feel nasty. Horrible. I am sick of food but don't want to start up weird habits. I'm more ( Read more... )

The past two weeks I've eaten healthy and noticed that even though I only lost maybe 1 pound, I feel less fat and frumpy. Junk food is losing its appeal more and more. I still had a couple pieces of chocolate here and there, and on Friday I took brownies to work, of which I ate a few, but that's all. Pigging out on junk doesn't appeal as much. It's ( Read more... )

I was off Friday and today, making for a long weekend. A long weekend, or any weekend really, can mean that I eat too much. I'm 165 today, onesixtyfreakingfive. Again. I gravitate between 160-165 all the time. I never actually make any REAL effort, so here I am. I know I'm not raging out of control here, I could just as easily start nipping this in ( Read more... )

I did way too many calories today, but I did work out tonight for 50 minutes, pretty hard because I was hyper. Probably from too much sugar. I'm 165 now. I seem to swing between 159 and 165 over and over. I need to just eat less tomorrow and it'll all be good. The few times I have actually managed to eat less for 2 or 3 days at a time I've found ( Read more... )