Im finding I get upset alot. (exhales exhausted) Behind these dried up orbs lies delusions much like yours, but mine is not like yours. They are not terrible or necessarily hurtful. I mingle thoughts of reality with those of my desires, hopes, or understanding of my given life, moment-to-moment. I thought I was the pessimist, but really I'm just ( Read more... )

Strange vibrations tap my bones in some sort of combustion of nonstlia, reflection, and fear. I think I need to write a letter to myself to prove I was this person in this time and somehow keep hold of all these misplaced feelings and frustraition. My old self is disolving and as much as that is supposed to be a progression, it just feels one more ( Read more... )

Decided to say "fuck you" to my western digital. Bought a seagate 1 terabyte! Installed vista ultimate 64 bit and I'm dominating. Tomorrow I get my Radeon 4850 1 gig graphic card to pump out some pure visual sensations, stoked. School is almost over for this god damn semester ( Read more... )

Ok, alot of thinking going on right now, a huge web of connected ideas all touching and firing off in mad strings too complex to record so suddenly ( Read more... )

Steps to becoming me as follows.

1. Think. Alot. Build the personal barrier.
2. Decide to talk to someone to secretly reveal these thoughts, but don't.
3. Try writing it down to figure it out, but delete it all.
4. Repeat

Im looking to spew a large amount out of my mouth. Everything will most likely be in bad taste. I'm in one of those "phases" that all the parents talk about. I'm mixed and mangled, (and yes I am exagerating, but what else can I say?) distorted, skewed. Everyone else has the answers, ready to give them at every moment, but I don't find comfort in ( Read more... )

Things are going as smoothly as I can expect. Started dating Karly again,and this time it's not stressful or laden with expectations. Going full time takes it toll, but it's not too much. I'm not working as much, which is really nice ( Read more... )

A father feels the the old days lost. The younger son downstairs drinking, a full-fledge smile equiped with friends around. The older in his room, alone, drinking to nothing. The father, a busch in a huggie near, smokes a cigarette in his favorite chair.

Im out of jail. No felony. No drug charges. No DUI. Drug evaluation let to the conclusion that no further treatment will be needed. Everything taken care of ( Read more... )

disconnected

left out

repeated

worn down

I miss Kansas City. I haven't felt anything welcoming in a while. Where has my place gone.