i want to die.
colin hates me.
i didnt even do anything...
he was drunk & i wanted to talk to him & he yelled at me & told me he didn't wanna talk...
& he hates me.
& he's telling all his friends that im a bitch
& im not.
im really not...i love him so much.

it's times like these i wish i didnt give up the one thing that kept me somewhat sane.

colin's dad isn't going to let him come visit me.

i want to go home.

ahem,
i'm glad that everything i've said over the past week meant absolutely nothing to you.
i'm glad that after all this, we're going through the same thing.

& to put it simply,
FUCK YOU. I'm done.

I HATE BILLS.
I should've never used that god forsaken credit card haha.
& It sucks even more not having a fucking job to pay my bills.
Life just keeps getting better, eh?

i had no idea i was so pathetic.
he "broke up with me," or tried to....whatever.
& i cried my fucking eyes out. & puked. & begged him not to leave.
i wish i was home so i could go to the hospital.
i want to die more than anything right now.
he didnt even have a reason for it, he just said "i think its better this way"
yet he still loves me? yea..

I'm not sure why it took so long, but I snapped today ( Read more... )

I've decided...i'm not really all that excited to come home. I probably will be in a few months...
I mean, life is going to be COMPLETELY different...cause I'm still getting an apartment with brian, & living on my own is going to be fabulous but really really hard.& I'm over alot of people who [i thought] were my friends. Some I still miss like ( Read more... )

It wasn't just depression this whole time.
I wasn't just being a bitch & completely losing control of everything for no reason...
& no wonder I reacted so badly to the medications they tried...
I don't know why I never even thought about it before, but I'm 99% sure I'm bipolar.
& that sucks.

i need a job ( Read more... )

so...i'm in florida ( Read more... )