I'm drinking out of the smallest water bottle right now. It contains exactly 10.1 fluid ounces. I'm pretty sure I pee more than that at one time. But it's ok, because a nice boy gave it to me to cure my hangover this morning. And before any of you gutter-minded individuals hear boy-hangover-morning in the same sentence and get your panties all ( Read more... )

So... this is the requisite late-night life contemplation. Since I've stopped (ok, not entirely but close) smoking, I don't get to enjoy any more amazing life-contemplating cigarettes, so this will have to be an unworthy substitute ( Read more... )

The only thing I'll ever be doing is listening to the musical genius of Constant Flow (by which I really just mean Dennis) and dreaming of becoming Amanda's roommate in the fall. Our room will be a leopard-print den of debauchery. Much drunken hilarity will ensue ( Read more... )

~ I don't understand people that live their lives in fear. I'm not talking about fear of heights or fear of escalators (I will always be terrified of the down escalator, and I don't know why), but I don't understand people that are emotionally afraid. My biggest fear is not taking chances, but it seems like everyone else is living in fear that ( Read more... )

~ I'm just wondering about a few different things.  But first, I would like to share a charming little anecdote about New Orleans.

My roommate just came back from the hospital.  At the most ghetto hospital ever, my beautiful roommate and her girlfriend were sitting in the "waiting room".  I call in the quote-unquote waiting room because there ( Read more... )

  I feel like my life is in a free-fall right now.  By life, I really just mean my life as of tonight, because I know by tomorrow I will be blissfully, radiantly happy again and the whole arbitrary cycle of contentment and whatever it alternates with can begin again.

What is so cliche about having these huge life-contemplating thoughts at 11:41 ( Read more... )

Eva is burning me a cd, and making me listen to every single fucking song on her ITunes ( Read more... )

This weekend will be a potent combination of beer, booze, and the beach ( Read more... )

  "Everyone says that after 6 months, your girlfriend will completely change".  This is what he said to me.  Of course, this was followed up with placating statements to the effect that I haven't changed, everything is the same, blah blah etc.  But I regret to inform myself that, in some ways, I definitely have.  For instance, the Listerine fight ( Read more... )

~ I just had the best life-contemplating cigarette. Eva and I contemplated statistics, alcohol abuse, forced sex, and guys that date much younger girls. All things classy and respectable ( Read more... )