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Memory
Memory is funny, you focus on a memory and it can dictate everything. Who you are, who you'll be, what you think, what you do... and like me... what you are. I was forced to face memories. You see, I have always made my life sound worse than it is, now sadly this is not intentional. Mostly. I have focused so much on the bad in my past that I can't ( Read more... ) -
Writer's Block: Looking Back
No life at the moment...
I'm just simply wondering is what I do best important. Do my posts on Tremor.com make differences? Does my websites matter to anybody else? Or am I wasting my time?
God, you placed me right here for right now. But why? What gifts did You give me? HTML? Playing video games? Gaming is NOT a gift to further the Kingdom. Why did ( Read more... ) -
2008
You know, a new year is supposed to bring hopes and dreams. A chance to grow and learn and better yourself as a human. No one is supposed to have the year my family did. No one... so why? That is a question I have been asking for over a year now. "Why?" Do you want to know what made this question plague me? Not many know every detail.
December 17th ( Read more... ) -
What's changed, what's the same...
Hmm, with the title as a base, I believe my update should be what is old news before delving into the changes in my life ( Read more... ) -
I've nothing much but the wounds I feel...
Since Mom died I have been extremely angry at everyone for everything. And as a shocker to all who know me... my games aren't fun. I spend all day (generally) on them lately... but rarely have fun. Everything I do is because I did it before. All tied to my rage... my rage at myself. My mom died a damn month ago and I can't MOURN ( Read more... ) -
This is so hard to post...
About 8pm Eastern tonight (January 4th), my mom, Luanna/Lana died. I'm shell shocked right now, feels like a bad dream and I won't wake up. Some of you reading will know her from EverQuest as Tehmpest or Luannah. Many others know her from real life. And quite a few never met her ( Read more... ) -
Today
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Av4BsHaWssI
(Not the official Nooma but it's the dialoag that matters not the video's imagery.)
I have thought over the last 18 hours off and on of how to start this post. I decided to use Rob Bell himself. You see last night was special. it was ( Read more... ) -
~sighs~ Long time... lets see if anything intelligent comes out.
13 weeks since my last update... wow. Wonder what is new... well for starters I MAY have new readers... some who never read it before this last week if at all. But they are referred in old entries. Old friends. One was a former crush and the other just a friend. Wasn't always so... heck at first they HATED us. My mom was their new youth pastor. ( Read more... ) -
~sighs~
Lately, I haven't had much spirit for anything. My will is broken and hopes are dead and dust. Lately depression has been hunting me like a predator. I try to smile and remember why I have friends but then I realise I have none. At least any where I need them the most, around me. I have to turn to IMs and boards to feel special but then the person ( Read more... )