After sitting in my room for 15 minutes crying in the pitch black while it stormed outside.. I think it did me some good. I don't feel like I belong.. anywhere. Literally. That's why I've been so depressed lately. Off and on. For a few weeks now. I've realized in so many places I don't feel like I'm.. I guess you could say wanted? Not necessarily ( Read more... )

I haven't been myself lately. For a while now. Well, probably since summer started. I've gone back to this pissed off quiet depressed person that I hate being. But I can't help it. I'm tired of everyone's same old shit they do and say. I need to get away. I feel super lonely still. This summer sucks balls and it's nothing I expected it to be.

completely left out. by EVERYONE. fuck this.

I love Ryan tho, hopefully we'll get to chill tomorrow night too. =)

Well I actually updated this bitch like 2 days ago.. because I had alot to say. But livejournal was being really gay and froze up on me & didn't save!! I don't feel like typing it all over again.. so I'm not.. but I'll recap the important part.

I read Kaitlin's journal a couple days ago about how she feels left out and stuff with everyone. And I ( Read more... )

http://www.blurty.com/~x0xltlsweetness/

That's the link to my old journal. I was bored tonight so I started reading it. I realized how much I used to be depressed, sad, or pissed about something almost every day. It's crazy! Now I really remember how much I didn't get to enjoy life. I kno tho that was all part of growing up. I've grown up SO much ( Read more... )

I'm in such a good mood today!

Welp.. I'm finally done PMS'ing! This time it was pretty bad. I cried for 2 days straight.. all the way through practice friday and also at night and the next morning half way through the day.

Everythings getting back to normal now tho. Me and Ryan are okay now. We had a long talk. I cried. But we went to Panera and ( Read more... )

Be prepared for a long entry because I definitely have a TON to say;

• First of all.. to put it lightly.. today SUCKED! Actually it beyond sucked.. if it were a blowjob.. it would SUCK the penis right off.
• To start off: I got in a fight with my parents over me not making my sister dinner. My exact words to her were " Your not a retard! You can scoop ( Read more... )

This past week has been crazy! (In a not-so-good way) Monday night I spent the night at Jen's. It was fun. I got to see her new puppy Cali, we found these awsome games online lol. And made our very own smoothies. We didn't get much sleep that night because her puppy kept us up and  I swear someone called the house everyone 20 minutes!

The next day ( Read more... )

about a week ago.. I was trying to remember the 1st song me and Ryan slow danced to at homecoming last year. I couldn't remember at all! I mean I had a few ideas of what it MIGHT have been.. but I felt so terrible because that's like.. important and I totally forgot. I realized tho.. the reason I forgot was because I was too caught up in the moment ( Read more... )

It's definitely entirely way too late for me to be awake and functioning.. but I can NOT pass this chance up to write down my latest discoveries of the mystery of myself.

Today I realized how much I miss Kristin. I hate it when she's away in the summer.. because I always realize how important she is. I have been so majorly bored lately.. which I ( Read more... )