Anger as the answer...bellesansmerciDecember 7 2005, 22:22:28 UTC
Why, in my mind, equals the fact that I refuse to let life beat and abuse me in it's usual manner. There are things that I want, goals that I need to achieve in order to satisfy my own desires. And when it comes down to it I refuse to let anything stand in my way. No one is going to ensure my existence except for me and me alone. That drive to make my life be as I see fit depends on the fact that I need to keep living in order to have the chance to keep trying to get there
( ... )
Because, like Saitou I'm too stubborn. Knocking me down is just about the best way there is to get me to keep going. Being told that I -can't- is the greatest catalyst I can imagine. And being able to turn around afterwards and give the nay-sayers the finger...thats just gravy. Somewhere along the way I picked up this, probably idiotic, concept that there isn't anything I can't do if I try hard enough, push myself long enough or devote myself to. There is another part to it too though, I want to see whats around the next corner, and if I quit I'll never know.
Mm. Gravy. Completely non-sequitor (and I apologize to lucael for the tangent in his LJ), I totally ran into your overweight twin who was either an MD or RN or something while I was touring the hospital where I interviewed in NY. It was weird.
Yes, there's a bit of that in me, as well. The stubborn thing, that is. I LOVE to prove people wrong. On the other hand, I try not to be mean about it.
I LOVE to prove people wrong. On the other hand, I try not to be mean about it.
Is that an irresolvable conflict?
No. But that is a loaded question, as I don't accept the concept of /anything/ being 'irresolvable.' And, being mean, is relative. Perhaps we'll get the chance to talk more about this come Saturday or Sunday? This could be a great jumping off point for a long verbal ramble, don't you think? (Plus, I've got the whole first reply I wrote, which kind of wandered off topic as I was holding a conversation between you and I in my head as I wrote. *snicker* It'd be interesting to see if your commentary in person was anything like what I thought it would be.)
Sometimes I think it would be nice if everything I did wasn't on some weird schedule that seemed completely different from the rest of the planet's. Anyways.
I can't say why everyone gets back up, since everybody's got their own reasons. I do know why *I* get back up.
I get back up because otherwise I'm acting like there's no point, and I really do think there's a point to life - whether it's to learn, or to do, or to teach, or whatever. And for me, if I give up on that, then I'm cheating myself out of everything that could be. And I think that as cynical as I get, I really do believe in the possibility of a better tomorrow. I think that's part of why I like stories, too, since they're all about what could be.
the pondering thing is out of context, I mean pondering a "deeper meaning" or "why we're here" and that type of stuff. Just because lots of people do something (ponder existence) doesnt mean its useful, is listening to brittany spears useful? And sure philosophy is cool, I read lots of it, but I dont feel im gonna get to any destination of enlightenment from it, that time I spent reading it would have been alot better used helping build a house for someone. In my opinion everything we think and feel is just chemical equations and electrical impulses, therefor, theorizing on deeper meanings, is pointless. doesnt mean it isnt fun. its a simple difference in opinion, and my original point was that neither of these is the right or better way to live and no one should be patronized for not viewing things like you do. (ie; the 'i feel bad for those people' comment)
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I LOVE to prove people wrong.
On the other hand, I try not to be mean about it.
Is that an irresolvable conflict?
Lucael
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On the other hand, I try not to be mean about it.
Is that an irresolvable conflict?
No. But that is a loaded question, as I don't accept the concept of /anything/ being 'irresolvable.' And, being mean, is relative. Perhaps we'll get the chance to talk more about this come Saturday or Sunday? This could be a great jumping off point for a long verbal ramble, don't you think? (Plus, I've got the whole first reply I wrote, which kind of wandered off topic as I was holding a conversation between you and I in my head as I wrote. *snicker* It'd be interesting to see if your commentary in person was anything like what I thought it would be.)
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I can't say why everyone gets back up, since everybody's got their own reasons. I do know why *I* get back up.
I get back up because otherwise I'm acting like there's no point, and I really do think there's a point to life - whether it's to learn, or to do, or to teach, or whatever. And for me, if I give up on that, then I'm cheating myself out of everything that could be. And I think that as cynical as I get, I really do believe in the possibility of a better tomorrow. I think that's part of why I like stories, too, since they're all about what could be.
So, in a nutshell, for me I think it's hope.
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But you have to PROMISE me you're not taking this personally to claim it. Okay?
Just making sure. :)
Lucael
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