this chapter is closed.

maybe i'm moving;  maybe i'm staying still.

anybody out there? leave me a note.

and i wonder if i'll see another highway

I'm on the train, and I am only travelling three stations. i think of the alternate reality, before trains, where I would have walked until my shoes hurt on the dusty, built-over roads. As usual, everyone looks sad. My hands hurt. They are tired of holding things; paper bags, tickets, debit cards, glasses of cheap wine. The girl standing ( Read more... )

 I never loved her. She took me everywhere and fed me with books and crippled lipsticks, which bickered. One evening, she stormed off in tears and left me on a park bench. I have no issues with abandonment. Really, I wanted to be left there. When no one was looking I would keel over and vomit out all those things inside of me which I did not like ( Read more... )

Even now, I cannot decide if I'd rather document everything or leave it to memory. Memory the warm beast prowling the overrun garden, gnashing up days, regurgitating hours into the fecal, the foreign. Rubbish of the brain. That year if you asked me about that year I would tell you it was a stretch of road, so endless it could only be translated ( Read more... )

"Dear Alphabet, Dear Spark ( Read more... )

If the heart is a caged bird, it is nothing mysterious. On the fifth day of my illness, my heart rattled in my ribcage like a canary with a clipped-wing. Acid-yellow and very light, was its countenance. I ran into you quite by accident and by everyday you were not so beautiful. How do you tell someone it is lidded in rooms, that they ( Read more... )

 One day for the hundredth time I realised all was dead and done. We licked the salt off our old wounds and kissed the grime off the tombstones of our emerging youth, since emerged. Everything that had to be said was said. All the words were exhausted. They sat by the side of the pavement, panting alphabet. Soon they would cease to exist.  I drove ( Read more... )

   When I was twelve, I moved in with my aunt. This happened suddenly and for no reason. One day I came home from school to find a few suitcases in the hall, and in these suitcases, all of my worldly possessions ( Read more... )

   
I was gaining weight. Everyone was too polite to notice. I worked in a sweet shop, and every day I swished up the road to work with a candour I'd hoped was Plucky, or Sassy, in a different patterned skirt. Gone were the days of being a wisp of a girl, of being pale, fragile, almost air-borne. Instead, I felt myself being pulled insolubly toward ( Read more... )

In the beginning, all was golden. No, it wasn't golden, it wasn't  something so solidly, blandly perfect. The beginning was a year-long cake, tiered, precarious, laced with confetti, with hundreds and thousands, with endless, dazzling frosting; the most beautiful pinata you could ever imagine.

The first day they met, it rained. A shining  ( Read more... )