Fic: Lack of Understanding
18-22 May 2005
Title: Lack of Understanding
Fandom/Pairing: LOST, Jack.Kate
Warnings/Rating: none, pg
Summary: For foxxcub's Jack/Sawyer ficathon. mysticxf asked for Jack/Kate, Any timeline, Handcuffs and Frogs, with no Bad Sex, Seeds or Counting. Hope I didn't let her down. I seriously thought this was due tomorrow.
~~
He hears her come up behind him, but he doesn’t turn around though maybe he should. The way things have been going lately his back is the first thing he should be protecting. He waits for her to speak.
Instead she runs to walk next to him. She doesn’t look at his face. That’s the first sign. She needs something. She wants something. He notices that he’s furrowed his brow. “Jack?”
“Hi, Kate.” He sees her then look up at him, and he turns and meets her eyes. “Something wrong?”
“No,” she answers. “Mind if I walk with you?”
Her eyes tell him nothing. “No.” She smiles faintly and breaks their eye contact. She’s used to the waning affection there, but she doesn’t want to be reminded of the way things have turned out.
As they start to walk, she sees Jin and Michael finishing up what little work they have left of the raft. The sunlight reflects off the handcuff on Jin’s wrist. A bold reminder of the fate she’s tried to escape. The walk is silent as they pass the other castaways and head into the trees towards the caves until Kate stops. Jack stops with her, turning to see what’s happened.
She just wants to get this over with. Say what she’s been meaning to tell him. Make him understand. “Jack, look, who knows how long we’re going to be here. I don’t want it to be like this.”
“I didn’t make it like this, Kate,” he answers.
“I know I lied to you, but--.” She sighs, looking away as if for the right words. “I didn’t think you’d understand.”
“You never gave me a chance,” Jack replies, his eyes still on her. “I didn’t need to understand, Kate. I needed the truth.”
He watches the conflict in her face as she wrestles with herself over her reasons for lying and whether they were justified or not. “I’m sorry,” is all she can offer when she looks at him again. He sees from the look in her eyes that whether she feels guilty or not, she’s come to terms with what she’s done.
Kate looks him in the eye apologetic, yet without true remorse. She knows that she should have trusted him, yet only now with hindsight could she say it, knowing that giving her trust so blindly was not something she could do easily. She doesn’t know what their status is now, and apparently neither does he.
“So am I,” he answers. He wishes he knew what happened to her to make her so defensive, so willing to isolate herself. Looking away, he sighs and hitches his backpack higher on his shoulder, unsure of whether they’ve solved anything or not.
“We should keep going.” He says to break the silence when Kate gasps and jumps, startled. Jack’s body tenses in alarm, ready for the worst. “What? Is-?”
She silences him, waving it off, and sighs, shaking her head. “It’s nothing. Just a frog. It jumped against my leg.”
He lets his muscle relaxes and see her do the same, release the tension in her body that could not have come from a frog alone. He watches her stare at the forest ground, her eyes searching.
She can’t see it anymore. It stopped moving and now she can’t see past its defense mechanism of camouflage. She wishes now she could camouflage into the forest out of Jack’s presence. She can feel it-that she’s lost him, lost his trust. She wishes she could fade off this island, away from everything she’s run from.
“Kate, what is this?” Jack asks quietly, but her attention is elsewhere. She’s not listening to him, still searching. He doesn’t know what she wants. He doesn’t even know her. He’s managed to convince himself that this crash has brought them together, but when it gets down to it they’re strangers.
He turns and starts walking again. He’s doesn’t even know what she wants, but he's tired of caring.
--
comments, please.
Title: Lack of Understanding
Fandom/Pairing: LOST, Jack.Kate
Warnings/Rating: none, pg
Summary: For foxxcub's Jack/Sawyer ficathon. mysticxf asked for Jack/Kate, Any timeline, Handcuffs and Frogs, with no Bad Sex, Seeds or Counting. Hope I didn't let her down. I seriously thought this was due tomorrow.
~~
He hears her come up behind him, but he doesn’t turn around though maybe he should. The way things have been going lately his back is the first thing he should be protecting. He waits for her to speak.
Instead she runs to walk next to him. She doesn’t look at his face. That’s the first sign. She needs something. She wants something. He notices that he’s furrowed his brow. “Jack?”
“Hi, Kate.” He sees her then look up at him, and he turns and meets her eyes. “Something wrong?”
“No,” she answers. “Mind if I walk with you?”
Her eyes tell him nothing. “No.” She smiles faintly and breaks their eye contact. She’s used to the waning affection there, but she doesn’t want to be reminded of the way things have turned out.
As they start to walk, she sees Jin and Michael finishing up what little work they have left of the raft. The sunlight reflects off the handcuff on Jin’s wrist. A bold reminder of the fate she’s tried to escape. The walk is silent as they pass the other castaways and head into the trees towards the caves until Kate stops. Jack stops with her, turning to see what’s happened.
She just wants to get this over with. Say what she’s been meaning to tell him. Make him understand. “Jack, look, who knows how long we’re going to be here. I don’t want it to be like this.”
“I didn’t make it like this, Kate,” he answers.
“I know I lied to you, but--.” She sighs, looking away as if for the right words. “I didn’t think you’d understand.”
“You never gave me a chance,” Jack replies, his eyes still on her. “I didn’t need to understand, Kate. I needed the truth.”
He watches the conflict in her face as she wrestles with herself over her reasons for lying and whether they were justified or not. “I’m sorry,” is all she can offer when she looks at him again. He sees from the look in her eyes that whether she feels guilty or not, she’s come to terms with what she’s done.
Kate looks him in the eye apologetic, yet without true remorse. She knows that she should have trusted him, yet only now with hindsight could she say it, knowing that giving her trust so blindly was not something she could do easily. She doesn’t know what their status is now, and apparently neither does he.
“So am I,” he answers. He wishes he knew what happened to her to make her so defensive, so willing to isolate herself. Looking away, he sighs and hitches his backpack higher on his shoulder, unsure of whether they’ve solved anything or not.
“We should keep going.” He says to break the silence when Kate gasps and jumps, startled. Jack’s body tenses in alarm, ready for the worst. “What? Is-?”
She silences him, waving it off, and sighs, shaking her head. “It’s nothing. Just a frog. It jumped against my leg.”
He lets his muscle relaxes and see her do the same, release the tension in her body that could not have come from a frog alone. He watches her stare at the forest ground, her eyes searching.
She can’t see it anymore. It stopped moving and now she can’t see past its defense mechanism of camouflage. She wishes now she could camouflage into the forest out of Jack’s presence. She can feel it-that she’s lost him, lost his trust. She wishes she could fade off this island, away from everything she’s run from.
“Kate, what is this?” Jack asks quietly, but her attention is elsewhere. She’s not listening to him, still searching. He doesn’t know what she wants. He doesn’t even know her. He’s managed to convince himself that this crash has brought them together, but when it gets down to it they’re strangers.
He turns and starts walking again. He’s doesn’t even know what she wants, but he's tired of caring.
--
comments, please.