Masochistically Fun ... In An Insanely Painful Way .... [AOI/KAZUKI] - ONE SHOT
Title: Masochistically Fun … in an Insanely Painful Way Part 1 of 4
Chapters: One shot
Author: luna_no_koibito
Genre: Angst, Life, Romance
Warnings: Sexual content, cursing
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Aoi / Kazuki
Bands: The Gazette, ScReW
Disclaimer: I don't own them, and don't wish I did because I'd be sorry for what could befall them （・＿・；）！
Comment: This was inspired by a blog that Kazuki had written, in his journal, regarding a night in which Aoi went to visit Kazuki.
Summary: Something that Kazuki, kept blaming himself for not having been able to grasp that night, because those eyes had clearly told him that Aoi, such as himself, was a very ...
"He Should Have Known Better ..."
What had been the purpose of him being there? in their recording studio, for hours and hours he quickly lost the count of, sitting on an overused leather stool, which by now, probably knew every detail regarding the shape of his ass beneath his denim jeans; just like a particular person did. There, looking like his brain just had the best sex of its existence with the “Goddess of Musical Inspiration”, which was the only reason that could possibly explain the reason why he held his guitar in the typical pose of a musician, who was about to play something grand, when all he'd done was staring, rather intently, at his cell phone.
Kazuki had been silently gazing at his unmoving electronic device, and never once, since he'd placed it on the surface of the now old equalizer, did he touch or reached for it, just dazed at it as if in doing so he could make it suddenly ring, while he kept wasting his time, by basically loitering in said studio, and finding comfort in the mere fact that he'd tried, really hard, to get his fingers to even only graze the chord of his instrument. However, as soon as he'd revolve his attention to the guitar, now uselessly laying on his lap, and rose his hand ready to actually do the only thing he'd been “required to do” in order to earn quite the satisfactory living, for himself and other four people, his hand would abruptly stop, seconds after which his fingers would immediately find themselves on his forehead, resignedly massaging the skin beneath it, sighing, for god only knew how many times now, while he thought about just how much he despised technology; for more reasons than this particular one.
He just couldn't get his mind off it, incessantly pondering on the subtle cruelty in having a device, that would allow you to instantly reach anybody, anywhere in the world, at any time; as said person had once pointed out, realizing just how much people gave the device for granted. However, knowing that the only person, he wanted to be reached by at the moment, would most likely not, while also knowing that it would make things so much worse if he'd tried to call this person instead, made the object completely useless, so for once, his beloved Senpai, who was also said particular person and the one he had the insane need to hear from, had been fucking wrong. Yes, Kazuki was angry, glowing in rage, and a step away from crying again like he had so uncontrollably in the past months, and he was so insanely vexed about his anger itself, and his self induced tears, but he never showed it, didn't want to show it; couldn't have him know it.
And it wasn't like he had any particular right to expect anything from him anyways, not after last night, and particularly not when considering the agreement he'd initially made with said person, his beloved Senpai,some months ago, willingly, even though he should have known that such an agreement would have certainly lead to nothing that could have been enjoyed eternally. In fact, he'd probably subconsciously already knew, right back then, that at least one of them would have been brought down to feel and be a wretched mess, and deeper down inside, he consciously already knew himself to have been the one.
Just what had he got hims in?
In the beginning, Kazuki had never thought much about him, other than the obvious observations that he indeed was an excellent guitarist, that when needed, he took his job seriously, and that he was someone, whom he could easily and righteously look up to. He also appeared to be the extremely outgoing person, he wasn't too meticulous about details like Ruki, he didn't overly boast his being like Reita, nor was he incredibly shy like Uruha, or unexpectedly too serious like Kai. Aoi, was someone, whom, all in all, he indeed wouldn't have minded being able to in time call Senpai, with that undertone of familiarity that a fond pupil would use with their admirable master, and given that they did play the same instrument, and worked for the same company, said opportunity arrived much sooner than later.
-No no no!You are doing it a~ll wrong!- suddenly exclaimed a rather offended sounding voice, making Kazuki slowly, and confusedly turn his head towards the source of said voice, whom left him speechlessly and nervously staring, as he watched Gazette's second guitarist nonchalantly walking towards him, with his arms folded in his arms, and a deep scowl. Once he'd reached him, Aoi simply stood there, expressionlessly looking down at a now rather panicky Kazuki, whom was still trying to figure out the nature of his offense, given that he hadn't even touched anything yet in the newly technologically enhanced studio. Then, after what seemed like an eternity, which had truly been the mere fraction of a second, the elder performed, what Kazuki at the time, could only describe, as quite the idiotic snickering -... hehehe just messing with you, don't mind me, I do this a lot ...- reassured the elder, allowing Kazuki to finally resume breathing and also add a polite “what the heck” smile in reply
-You got me really scared there … Aoi-san ...- added the younger, turning around in his stool, with his guitar on his laps and newly faced all the brand new electronic equipment -... though … I will admit … this looks way different from the old equalizer ...- he expressed, followed by a rather nervous laughter that hadn't intended to be so, but turned so in reaction of the elder suddenly sitting on another stool, and dragging his feet on the ground to get himself next to the younger, and begin messing around with said equalizer
-I actually personally recommended this equalizer to the technicians, you see it has this feature that ...- began the elder, as he kept handling the device like he actually had designed and constructed it, while he kept explaining specific and random features pertaining to it, at which Kazuki merely nodded, as he tried with all his might to assimilate each bit of information, while trying to stop the already assimilated one from slipping right out of the back of his head, which was what his rather stunned facial expressions must have been giving away at that moment, because the brunette suddenly stopped, once he turned around to look at him -Oi! … Are you listening?- he playfully admonished in his distinctive Kansai accent, which Kazuki was well familiar with, having moved to Osaka when he was sixteen. After they both lightly laughed, the elder then proceeded in playfully slapping him on the front of his head, in a rapid and completely harmless gesture; endearing
-Hai hai … I am ...- replied Kazuki, nodding with an apologetic smile, as well beginning to use the dialect they shared, while Aoi folded his arms in his chest once again, and looked at him with an incredibly skeptical gaze, which made Kazuki then hesitantly shake his head, once again, looking very apologetic -... well … I was … at the beginning ...- he admitted, scratching the back of his head, and giving the elder a tentative grin
-It's okay … - kindly grinned, and smirked the elder -... so how are things going with Screw?- he then asked, very nonchalantly, as Kazuki had heard, and observed him to be
-They are going fine … we all feel very happy and blessed to have a contract … it's our dream come true- admitted the younger, this time smiling at his fullest, and receiving and understanding nodding from the elder, who looked like he was reminded of some fond memory of the past -... so yes … it is great ...- added Kazuki, in order to fill the somehow strangely comfortable silence that had fallen between them, at which statement he newly received a nod, and a smile from the elder
-Well ...- suddenly stated Aoi, after the appearance of a second unrequested, yet still comfortable silence, which Kazuki had no idea how to break at this point -... I'll let you work then … and don't slack! The future of PS depends on you mow! because that “Aoi guy”can't do it all by myself, no matter how perfect of a being he is- he jokingly stated, and after they both laughed for a while, he raised up from his stool, looking down at the younger with a smile, as Kazuki politely nodded
-Thank you for your help and time Aoi-san ...- then politely added the younger, after which he unconsciously began to chew his lip, silently watching the elder walk away, while a weird battle took place inside his head, wondering whether he should or not ask, whether it would have sounded too early for such a thing, whether there was even need after all for such a thing … may I call you Senpai? … but the brunette was already out and gone by the time he decided that he would have given it a try. Oh well.
In such a manner their first real conversation had unfolded, for they had met before, but it had been nothing more than the usual courtesies. Eventually, months rolled by, as Kazuki began to absorb full force the fact that he was indeed on the path of becoming a well-known musician, he also gave himself time to randomly interact with members of all the other PS bands, as he got comfortable with being himself, and as such, gaining the reputations of smooth talker, and charmer, why, he probably had a few clues, but he wasn't too worried about it, for he meant nothing wrong in being so, and he knew that they all also understood that. In the same way he came to understand that Takanori wasn't really as meticulous as he'd wrongly observed, that Akira was a loving goofball, and his boasting was a result of such aloofness, that Kouyou was quite the fun guy to be around and have a drink or two, once gotten well acquainted with, and Yutaka had his reasons to look as serious when he did, because it really wasn't all the times, and it didn't last long anyway, for he'd end up laughing it off.
And Yuu, well, Yuu was generous beyond believe, spontaneous like a child, and at times incredibly self conscious. With the passage of time, he finally began to call him Senpai, and he hadn't even had to ask, it just happened, with all the times they began to meet each other at their respective homes, at times with other members, at times alone, it happened rather naturally. Their nights together were always fun, very entertaining, and sometimes also instructive, for the elder would always give him insight on new systems he could get, which was another characteristic that Kazuki added to his “Thing about Senpai” mental list, because Aoi loved, with a capital “L”, technology, computers in particular. Yet, considering just how much they began to regularly hang out, and how intently he took time to scrutinize the elder, he still didn't know just how he'd failed to have notice, and add to his mental list, that Aoi was as also a very ... though he probably hadn't noticed, for at time; he unknowingly was the same.
-Argh … - loudly grumbled the elder brunette in a visibly drunken manner, ungraciously slouching on the younger's couch, with his umpteenth bottle of beer, Kazuki had lost count by then, in his hand -... thissss … is why I said that Kouyou …. sho~uld have come over~! … - he exclaimed, while chuckling, under the scrutiny of a very much amused Kazuki, who had then been standing by his living room threshold and who'd had only two beers, thus was still entirely himself -and … not are you … I mean … why. Are. You. Not. … drinking? - he then inquired squinting his eyes at the younger, who then walked into the the living room room towards an armchair, still nonchalantly holding his second bottle of beer
-But I am Senapi ...- he chuckled raising his own bottle in direction of the elder, in proof of his statement, though he highly doubted that the elder could actually distinguish a bottle of beer from a cucumber in his present state. It had happened a couple of times already, for the elder to have been close to being shit face drunk, and all that Kazuki had to do was get a taxi at a point and make sure he got home, for he didn't quite have a car yet, and he wasn't going to drive Aoi's either, thus, it was nothing out of the ordinary, to have the elder in such a state, or so he'd thought.
-Why … so ..fa~r …?- Aoi suddenly inquired, staring at Kazuki, from his seemingly too comfortable position, his eyes barely staying open -... come come come ...- he then lazily called, using all his might to raise his free hand and make randoms gestures for the younger to come closer. Kazuki merely smirked, and proceeded to take another sip of his drink, while shaking his head, not in refusal, but in mere amusement. However, the elder brunette seemed determined on having the younger by his side, and kept gesturing for Kazuki to come over -... come on~ … come ... here ...- he added, stupidly chuckling to himself for a couple of seconds, after which he appeared to have given up, and remained silent -... I … I have to tell you something … real quick … would you come please? … - he then suddenly resumed, however, this time, there had been a complete change in the elder's behavior. He'd sounded and looked somewhat pleading and also contemplative, like seriously pondering on something, a concept which in itself was rather disconcerting, almost frightening, in particular when associated with an inebriated mind.
However, what had first reached Kazuki's awareness that night, had been the pleading undertone to the elder's request, and being Aoi his now extremely adored and beloved Senpai, he obviously took pity on him, and as he playfully rolled his eyes, he nonchalantly got up, dropped by the elder, and turned to regard him with a questioning expression. Yet, Aoi kept silent, his features still adorned with said contemplative expression, and seconds later, as he turned to regard him, it felt as if he was being studied, and that right there, should have been a clear indication, that something was most definitely going out of “their ordinary”, that, added to the rather uncomfortable feeling that was beginning to beat in Kazuki's chest.
-...Senpai ... everything okay? … - hesitantly inquired the younger soon after performing a rather nervous laughter. Yet the elder still remained silent, and after he newly returned to face forward with his blank expression, a couple of actions followed, during which Kazuki wasn't exactly too sure about all that happened in between Aoi calmly placing his beer bottle on the coffee table, and feeling the elder's lips over his.
A kiss, just one stamp of mature lips against younger ones. It had been so gentle, and felt like it carried a meaning, nothing desirous, or insanely hungry, and it surely hadn't been a prank, because as paralyzed as Kazuki was, he'd been in the position of being able to involuntary stare at Aoi's deep dark orbs, which were staring right back at him, and telling him that something he probably truly wanted to say, but couldn't or didn't know how to. Something that Kazuki, kept blaming himself for not having been able to grasp that night, because those eyes had clearly told him that Aoi, such as himself, was a very ... but he was obviously too shocked, and it really wasn't just the kiss itself..
Though he really didn't have any issues with the possibility of being kissed by a man, given that he often fan-serviced for the immense pleasure of all his fans, that this could happen by the lips of none other than his adored Senpai, he never would have imagined. As his mind kept trying to recollect itself, while they kept staring at each other, with Aoi's right hand still delicately placed on Kazuki's cheek, which was making any possibility of mental recovery proceed even slower, if not at all, Aoi newly shortened their distance, but this time, the kiss was longer, as sense of need began to surface, while the elder's hand slowly traveled from his cheek, to his neck, and Kazuki just couldn't find any will to reject the elder; and he really didn't want to either.
In no time, Aoi's body was firmly pressed against Kazuki's, whose hands slowly and hesitantly lifted, and directed themselves on the sacred territory of the elders still clothed back, and there they stayed, holding so tight, while he tried to mentally hold himself from getting lost in the indescribable sensation of their leisurely stroking tongues, followed by the elder's full lips grazing the edge of his mouth, his jaw, his neck where he stopped, perhaps deciding that that particular area need extra attention, action which made the younger finally release the moan he had been holding back since their make out session began
-Senpai? ...- cautiously and confusedly whispered Kazuki, as Aoi carefully guided him to lay flat on his own couch, and quickly giving him a gentle smile in reply, he resumed sucking on the yonger's neck, while unbuttoning his shirt. Kazuki's heart beat had considerably increased, as his mind pieced up what was about to happen, and he suddenly turned into a nervous wrack, for he wasn't used to this, not at all, usually, he was the one to make the move, the topper, thus this was making him rather uncomfortable. His discomfort however, had nothing to do with the elder, for he truly was enjoying the attention, he was loving the feeling of Aoi's lips on his, of his hands on his skin, of his body against his, all of which made it obvious that Kazuki had at some point longed for this, he just; never acknowledge it.
After smoothly rolling off Kazuki's shirt down his body, Aoi, who was firmly straddling the younger beneath himself, got on his heels to quickly get rid of his shirt, and newly dive down, to kiss the still speechless being beneath himself, whose hands were still quite uncertain of were they should stay, as he suddenly whimpered, and wantonly moaned into the elder's kiss -S-senpai … I ...- Kazuki then suddenly spoke, braking their kiss, to say, he didn't know what, for truthfully he was just very confused, and even thought he felt like deep down inside he had somehow wanted this, he wasn't too sure about it; he wasn't sure that it was the same thing the elder was trying to get at
-Dame? [** not literally but in this situation it means “should I stop?”] ...- kindly inquired the elder, grazing over the right side of Kazuki's face with the back of his right hand, who, as he tried to steady himself as much as he could, newly tried to decipher the words spoken by the elder's eyes, whom still didn't seem like they meant any harm, but god they were looking for something, he just couldn't understand what. Nonetheless, as Kazuki kept his silence, and Aoi carefully placed himself in-between his legs, while never shifting his gaze from the younger, Kazuki concluded to merely and shake his head to the elder's question. Thus the brunette leaned down to tenderly trap their lips together, as he passed his hand down the elder's arm, intertwining their hands together, and guiding it towards his own back, where Kazuki's other hand subsequently landed as well, as it joined the other in exploring their newly acquired territory.
Not much later, jeans and undergarments where on the ground, hips were eagerly rolling, erections appeasing themselves against each other, groans and moans unresistingly filling the room, as the naked body proceeded in their entangling and disentangling game. Then a pair of cautious digits were been patiently sucked by an obedient mouth, which took its dear time to coat them in saliva as best as it could, while deep dark orbs where still fervently fixed on younger dark orbs that were having a serious hard time in staying open, as the elder's free hand was paying a whole lot of attention to his now oversensitive member.
-Nnh … Senpai ...- pleasurably hissed the younger, his breath extremely out of pace, and his eyes now completely shut, once those black nail-polished digits, which had vanished from his mouth, were now being pressed at his entrance, where Aoi was bent, circling and teasing, after he had abundantly licked and pierced through with his tongue. So went a finger, then a second, and they carefully bent, stretch, and found that one spot, which made the younger go -... Aah! ...- in extremely ecstasy, and his back lightly arch, while his hands impulsively shoved into damp black locks
Raising back to the Kazuki's face, Aoi covered it in delicate butterfly kisses, as he soothingly massaged his scalp, and it all felt so incredibly blissful, so darn calculatedly good, that it was so hard to believe that he elder was actually drunk
-Any protection? ...- whispered the elder into Kauki's ear, whose eyes quickly widened for he truly had no idea, it had been quite some time, since he'd done any of such activity in his house, and something told him that, he wouldn't have found any even if he tried. He was definitely an advocate of “no sex, without protection” but, having Aoi, all hot and bothered for him, naked and ready to go, was making him close eyes, either physical, spiritual and what not
-It's … okay …? ...- he attempted, receiving a smirk from the elder, who then kissed him on forehead, and lift away to reach for his jeans, and began searching his pockets
-You really ...- began the elder, after successfully finding a condom in the back pocket of his jeans, discovery, which made Kazuki start to believe that maybe, this, had been if not entirely planned, somewhat intended, and it was maybe a bit unsettling, but that aside, he really didn't know what think about it -... you really need to stop trusting me as much ...- concluded the elder with a gentle grin, while he bit off, threw away the wrap, and was about to wear the protection, when Kazuki lifted to his heels, and stopped him, taking possession of it, with the intention of wanting to “dress” the elder instead
-... And … why is that? ...- lowly inquired Kazuki in slight hesitation making the elder tenderly smirk, as he carefully rolled the lubricated contraceptive down the elder's erection, after which he was newly guided to lay flat on his couch, with his legs spread apart, where Aoi comfortably situated himself, while pointing his hardened member by his entrance, and slowly pushing in, as Kazuki did his best to suppress any pained sound, while holding to both sides of his couch like his life depend on it, it was his first time bottoming, and fuck he really hoped that his lovers weren't pretending when they began to act like it was all pleasurable, because it sure like hell was hurting a lot right now.
-You don't know where this old man has been ...- explained Aoi with a gentle low tone, once completely sheathed in, as he bent over to newly feather kiss the younger's face, probably in an attempts to sooth his pain -... it is not something I am proud about, obviously ...- he added, looking straight into Kazuki's half opened eyes, as he began to stroke his chestnut-colored locks -... but I have been in quite some place … and I have no intention of indirectly taking you there as well - he stated, making the younger lightly laugh, and nod in agreement -... so … do forgive this stupid senpai of yours ne … can I move?- he then excused himself, and inquired, receiving another nod from Kazuki, who really had stopped listening after “place”, and who wrapped his arms around Aoi's back, holding tight as the thrusting began slow and gentle
-Kazuki …? - suddenly called the elder, as his thrust began to increase, such as the younger's pants, and calls of pleasure. The younger, tried his best to open up his eyes to the elder, and gaze at him with a drunken in pleasure inquisitive expression, as he hoped he'd be able to make sense of whatever came out the elder's mouth, for he was now having a good enough proof that the pain did subside and it was gratifying it was becoming to much to take. However, the elder kept his silence, and resolved in making out instead, slowly and passionately, such as the movement of his lower body, which had stopped thrusting, and was now sensually rolling its hips instead
-Senp …?- tried to inquire the younger, but was basically forced silent as the elder resumed moving in and out of him, this time faster, and harder, making them both helplessly groan and moan in pleasure, their bodies tightly clasped to each other, and very close to reaching their climax -... g-god! ..- then sublimely exclaimed Kazuki, as his prostate kept being hit over and over and over again
-... Yes? ...- sultrily hissed the elder in a playful reply to the younger's exclamation, making the younger emit half a laughter half a moan, as the thrusting became shoving, the shoving, pounding and Kazuki was so close, so lost, so inebriated with it all, in fact, it almost felt as if the elder had past his drunkenness to the younger, whom as he tried to gain some sort of consciousness, found himself suddenly arching his fingers on the elder's back, as well as his own back, which caused his head to bend and his eye to roll with it making everything in sight momentarily white, as he screamed in the pure ecstasy of his orgasm, soon followed by the elder.
Silence fell over the two piled up bodies, as well as his black shirt, which Aoi's hands stretch out to pick and lay over them, following which action, the eldest was comfortably resting in the crook of the younger's neck, who merely found himself staring at the ceiling, as he tried to require the pace of his own breath and heartbeat; … what had just happened? He wanted to ask, badly, but had the feeling he'd probably won't get an answer. Yet, was it really so wrong to want to know why had he just had sweet sex, because there really weren't the true basis to call it love making, even though that was exactly what it felt like, with none other than Aoi … Gazette's second guitarist ... his adored and beloved senpai ...
Such realization slowly, but surely, began to sink in the dept of his head, whereas deep inside his chest, a different realization was making itself through, the one that signaled that there was something fundamentally wrong about all of this, which had nothing to do with having had sex with a man, or the relevance of the particular man he had sex with. However, that night, in that moment, as he'd lifted his hand to affectionately caress the damp black locks of the elder, who had fallen asleep, he'd decided that there was absolutely no point in worrying about it.
So he'd thought, and now, as he his eyes blinked back to the reality of his still unmoving cell phone, he wondered whether, if he had tackled his perplexing, back then during the only time the actually had some sort of meaningful sex, he wondered whether things wouldn't be different, whether the predictions for his night would have been different from either insanely and desperately waiting for a call, or fucking it, going to bed, and crying himself to sleep instead.
~ SECOND PART ~
A/N: Hello~! I haven't written a one shot in a while ne? And this was absolutely not intended to be a two part, but … you know me … though I can assure you that there is only one final part to this, which I am working on. This particular one shot has been “swimming” In my head since I read both blogs, it was actually kinda funny at the beginning, Kazuki was rather detailed, in fact he made two blogs about that night. Hehehe. Well, how do you all think this story will end, have you figure, what is the other characteristic of Aoi, that Kazuki shares as well, but hadn't noticed at the time?
Hope you enjoyed it, and I thank in advance for readers and commentators. Much Love.
-LnK♥(~_^ )/-