HOUSE OF SIN - The Diary of Uke Yutaka : CHAPTER 19 PART 1

[luna_no_koibito]

Title: HOUSE OF SIN - The Diary of Uke Yutaka
Chapters: 19.1 / 21
Author: luna_no_koibito
Genre: Human drama, romance, war, angst.
Warnings:  men/men relationship, cursing, sex, violence, incest.
Rating: from PG -15 to NC-17 (Depending on chapter)
Pairing: Revealing this might spoil the story just yet ... suggest looking at the character list (^_^)!
Bands: the GazettE, Dir En Grey, X-Japan, Nightmare, An Cafe', Alice Nine, Kra, SuG.
Disclaimer: I don't own them, and don't wish I did because I'd be sorry for what could befall them （・＿・；）！
Summary:
  MAIN

CHAPTER 18 PART 2



Made by 12thgrave



What was the point in it all? What was the point in this thing he'd dare to call life? Seventeen years well into his carefree existence, and for the first time, he found himself seriously asking himself said questions. Takeru the spoilt brat. Takeru, the bad mouthed youth. Takeru, the blasphemous being. Takeru … the unwanted child … exactly how long was he going to hide behind what now only sounded like a convenient excuse, specially given that now; he wasn't a child anymore. Not Yasuno, not Akira, not Takahiro, not Kazuhiro, not Kazamasa, not Takanori, they had finally all grown up, in the inevitable way it was supposed to be.

Time passed, and there was nothing that could be done about that. It just kept flowing, and flowing, and wishing for it to stop was just a so called waste of time, same as wanting for it to somehow turn back, which in perspective, was even a greater waste of time. From the very start, there really was no such thing as time per say anyways. Humans made time, because humans don't live forever; nothing that lives, ever does. Thus, the invention of time, to remind poor human beings just how fast things seems to happen when happy, and how excruciatingly slow, when not, such as the past two weeks had been for Takeru. Thus, the realization that those memories he held so precious, which were stuck somewhere in time, actually were not. If he had happened to forget about them; they would be lost, forever.

So he stalled. For the past two weeks, walking like a listless being, thinking and recalling, making questions, and more recalling. In this repeated and monotonous routine, thinking would always turn out to be boring and painful rather quickly, given as to how he really had no answer to any of his questions, or the courage to even want to look for one. Thus, he'd waste of his day recalling every joyous moment of his life so far, in particular, every joyous moment he had with that man he had been avoiding in the best way he could; and from whom he was being avoided in the worst way he had envisioned. Doubtlessly, somewhere in his subconscious, he was hoping that Yasuno would chase for him, like he always had, that his trying to avoid him, would bring him back to him, like it always had, but it didn't. Was Yasuno finally tired of his complaints, his unreasonable demands, his unbearable self, did he finally realize a better use of his own time, than to spend it with the one being, whom had dissipated a good seventeen years of it? If that were to be the case, was he to blame?

Nobody would blame him, not even Takeru himself.

Thus, wouldn't it be great if he could live in the memory of what used to be? In the long run, it would have been much better than having to admit to the fact that he was being rejected by the one he loved and couldn't help loving. Better than being forced to watch said person being happy with someone else, and realized that in the end, he'd finally become truly alone; Takeru … the lonely being. Rather than all of that, he'd have his memories keep him company, he would live in an imaginary world, where time didn't exist to begin with, and the period before his seventeenth birthday would progress forever. Eventually he would loose his actual mind, perhaps with a bit of luck, he'd become as crazy as his mother. He won't distinguish reality from imagination anymore, thus he wouldn't be able to understand pain, worry, … fear … with his cognition, it would all be gone.

Such an absurd conception it was, yet, it was beginning to sound not so absurd anymore.

He would spend the rest of his life in his room, in the soon to become vacant room of the elder, and in the red flowers garden, where most of their beautiful memories took place. So he earnestly thought, as he walked through the entrance of said garden, nostalgically staring at all the flowers, as he kept aimlessly walking, remembering some of their innocently spent afternoons in which he would bother Yasuno when he'd tried to study so hard, or the times the elder would give up and just play with him, and the times Yasuno would try to make him study, even if just a little bit. Then sometimes, during the depths of the night, when nobody would be around, they would just sit under that oak tree, look at the sky in each other's arms, talk about whatever went though his mind, in-between kisses, and take care of the built heat of the moment somewhere else; usually his room.

Such endearing moments, so many of them that would last him a life time; so why the tears? Why the sudden pain in his chest? This wasn't supposed to happen, he was supposed to be happy, rejoicing in the memory of what used to be; and still will continue to be in his head. Yet the hurt, didn't hint at wanting to go away, and the sudden appearance of Yasuno, from behind the oak tree, didn't seem to help any. Quickly drying his tears, he frantically though about what to do, for he'd thought he had been careful in choosing times in which he knew that Yasuno wouldn't be around, even though this was his garden by all means, thus he was entitled to be in it whenever he pleased. So, perhaps, it was actually his cue to leave.

“I have been thinking ...” suddenly and loudly began the elder, leaning on the oak, as the younger stopped on his exiting track “... this past days, I have been thinking a lot” added the elder, in a awkwardly loud pensive tone, as Takeru kept his back to the other, silent and unmoving “I have been thinking about life in general … about us, our family … about you and me … I have been thinking about a lot and I was surprised to some of the things I realized and had to admit to … do you want to know?” he rhetorically inquired the younger, whom honestly didn't know what to reply, he honestly didn't know what would have come out of those lips he so loved to kiss, and still would have liked to. If it were a repeat of the fact that they couldn't be together, he rather would have died, particularly when he was currently dying to here him say once again that he loved him, to here the other say something like that again, would have certainly be his finally blow. So he resumed walking. Running away from stuff he didn't like was the best way to face all his problems, given as how Yasuno would have always ran after him and find a solution. Not like he expected the same to happen this time around; but habits were just too hard to loose “... I am trying to tell you something, so you better stay put there and listen” firmly exclaimed the elder, his voice and attitude suddenly changed, lightly startling the younger, whom then turned around involuntarily smirking at the elder.

“Mmmm … so you are angry ...” cynically mocked the younger, staring at the rigid expression on Yausno's features. He'd never seen him that way, and perhaps it would have been in his best interest to just shut up and not provoke him anymore, and maybe just this once, he would try and do the right thing. Thus, stopping himself from any other clever remarks, he simply shut up, and looked away.

“It annoys me … this cynical side of you … it angers me so much” resumed Yasuno, dazing at the gaze averting Takeru, whose heartbeat began to gain speed, as he heard the other referring to him with such spite “... every time you act up, every time you still persist to act like a child it makes me wonder exactly what have I done to you …” confessed the elder, in a gentler tone “... you, whom out of everyone I chose and placed as my one priority … you, whom I promised never to make suffer ...” continued the elder, as the younger's body suddenly petrified, for he didn’t want to hear another single word regarding the subject, but he couldn't move “... the day you …” paused the elder, audibly chocking on his own words, clearly not able to finish his sentence “... the day … you almost died … I thought I was going to die as well” declared the elder in a louder tone “... it scared me so much, it made me realize how much you depend from me, and that Takeru, is not good-” tried to continue the elder, but was abruptly interrupted by the other.

“I do not want to listen to th-” stated Takeru as he resumed his walk, but was quickly caught by the elder, whom grabbed his still tied up wrist, which he instantly released, probably recollecting what had caused the wounds beneath said bands.

“But you need to listen Takeru ...” firmly stated the elder, as he quickly grabbed the newly escaping younger by his shoulder.

“No! “ angrily exclaimed the younger, trying to free himself from the elder's grip.

“Yes! God Takeru listen to me for once!” shouted the elder, completely startling the younger, after which they both remind silent for a while, the elder first to brake eye-contact as he resumed speaking “I do not know why we happened to be siblings, I do not know why we are both males, I do not know how were were able to ignore all of that, in short, I do not know the answer to a lot of questions, but I do know that I love you, I do. And there is no changing that” firmly stated the elder, as he replaced his gaze on the younger, whom unknowingly resumed to silently cry “I cannot imagine a life without you, I do not think it would be feasible, and it was stupid of me to even try to force myself to do as much, however Takeru …” he then paused, cautiously getting closer to the younger's face, and grabbing both his cheeks his hands “... I never thought you capable of such a reaction, which is why I need you to take your life in your own hands, not for me, but for yourself” tenderly stated the elder, his voice slightly trembling “... I need to know that if ever something were to happen to me, or even if it were not to ... I need to know that you can manage on your own” concluded the elder smiling at the younger, as a tear rolled down his cheek.

“I … I k-know ...” finally mumbled the younger in-between tears, as he began to sob louder, tightly holding his hands on the elder's wrist, which hands were still on his cheeks “... I know ...” repeated the younger, closing his eyes, not capable of stopping his now almost loud crying, momentarily simply happy and relived of the fact that they still both shared the same feeling; happy that at least that, time wasn't able to take away from him.

“I will have to go soon … I am sure you know ...” resumed Yasuno, tenderly caressing the younger's right cheek, as Takeru silently nodded soon “... I never thought this day would actually come, which is quite funny I think. Somehow, some part of me, unrealistically thought that time would always flow in the way it had for the past seventeen years … with me and you sheltered in this garden … forever … even though I perfectly knew there would have come a time in which I would have to leave this place, even though I knew there would have been a time to grow up … I still seriously though of that time to be so far ...” explained the elder in a bitter-sweet tone “... I honestly never thought all of this would happened, never envisioned it … in the same way I never envisioned father's coming home for the reason he did … ” he sadly added, as the younger merely kept nodding “... in fact, I was so angry and unbelieving of the happening, that at a point, during these days of incessant thinking, I was seriously planning our escape … for a good three days, I had a plan well thought-out … but ...” confessed the elder.

“But … we are not going to ...” whispered the younger in a knowing tone. Yasuno wasn't the type to willingly want to run away, even the sole fact that he had actually planned to was completely uncharacteristic “ … we should not … right?” hesitantly inquired the younger, trying to make sense of what he'd just uttered. For the first time not coercing the elder into going the easy way.

“Yes … we should not ...” affirmed the elder “... not in this way at least ...” added Yasuno, at which words Takeru's eyes opened to stare up at the ones of the older.

“Not … this way?” confusingly inquired the younger.

Yes, not this way” firmly repeated the elder “... if … if I get return-” began the elder, whom was quickly interrupted by the younger.

“when you return ...” corrected Takeru firmly looking up at the elder, whom smiled and resumed.

“We will go somewhere, will probably have to move away from England, not sure about that yet but-” tried to explain the elder, whom was newly interrupted by the younger.

“By we, do you mean you … and me?” hesitantly inquired Takeru with a rather disbelieving stare.

“Have you been listening!” playfully remarked the elder “... of course it is me and you … who else? I said I love you Takeru, you, you, you, you, yo-” Yasuno kept teasingly repeating, until he got interjected.

“Fine! Understood ...” nervously exclaimed the yougner, hiding his blushing face in the other chest “... it is me” he lowly mumbled, as the other wrapped his arms around the younger's back “... keep explaining I am listening” he then added, after which he kept his silence.

“When I come back, by that time I'd like you to have advanced in some type of study … ideally business … but really which ever it is you prefer ...” began to express the elder “... so that when I get back, when you you will be finished, we can start business together. We will be known as 'the stingy bachelor, whom did not want to get a wife' and … his other youngest brother, whom-” jokingly explained the elder.

“Whom as well did not want to get a wife, and who was stingy in a different way … stingy in not wanting to share his older brother with no one, ever” mumbled Takeru, finishing off the elder's sentence, whom merely smirked.

“Works fine ...” expressed the elder, as he carefully walked them against the oak tree “ so will you be willing to continue your studies?” inquired the elder, as they slid to the roots of the great plant.

“Yes ...” confirmed the younger “... and even though I would not mind being a businessman, since I have expensive taste and … it would help you in the long run ...” expressed the younger, with a shy smile, as he lifted himself from the elder's chest, whom chuckled “... I … I think … I would like to be a lawyer ...” nervously expressed Takeru, glimpsing at the elder's incredibly shocked expression, which was probably as shocked as the cells in his own brain for admitting to such a thing.

“That … that is fantastic! I … never thought you would have wanted to do such a job, I am seriously, and positively surprised” expressed the elder.

“I … I like arguing ...” began the younger “... thus it would follow that I might want to be a politician, but I don't like them to start with, and … I was also considering arguing with a purpose ...arguing in a way that would directly help others … and not in twenty years like a politician might, if they ever really cared about the people … moreover, I obviously can do a better job than Akira” condescendingly concluded the younger, making the elder wholeheartedly laugh, and the other feel slightly offended “What? Do you think I can be better than the so called Lawyer of Justice?” questioned Takeru, in a pretense indignant tone.

“No …” tenderly expressed the elder, pulling down the other head to gently and slowly kiss him “... I believe you can do whatever you want” he whispered on the youger's lips.

“We will not be able to become the stingy brother's duo though … “ whispered back the younger, leaning in to peck the elder's lips.

“It is just fine ...” smirked the elder “... I might need you to get me out of trouble sometimes, in cases when Akira will obviously refuse to ...” mischievously whispered the elder, passing his lips on Takeru's neck, whom carefully pushed him back.

“If you are wrong, you are wrong, I am not saving you handsome behind ...” haughtily expressed the blond, staring at his nails, as the elder gazed at him wide-eyed and speechless “... that will teach to cheat on me with any other woman, or man at that, a trial per cheating act, that is how I will do it, so it would be best for to be on your best behavior ...” explained the younger, as the elder kept staring at him, with the feign gaze of a child about to cry.

“You are cruel my love!” dramatically stated the elder.

“Indeed I am … ” smiled the younger “... but still your one and only love” he serenely and gratefully stated the younger, as the elder carefully grabbed the younger's wounded wrist.

“This … or any other attempt to your life better not happen, ever again … was I clear?” seriously ordered the elder “... even if I were to no come back-” tried to added on the elder.

“You better be back ...” roughly interjected the younger “... I will not have it any other way … was I clear?” strongly inquired the younger, receiving a gentle smile from the elder, whom leaned up to kiss the try and kiss the younger, who however dodged said lips and repeated “... was I clear?”

“I will do my best Takeru ...” promised the elder.

“Good ...” firmly replied the younger, allowing the elder to lean in for the kiss he'd been previously stolen.

“I missed you Takeru ...” softly whispered the older, deepening their kiss, as he wrapped his arms around the yougner's waist, releasing an amount of passion, which successfully left the younger, speechless for a while, as the elder proceeded to lower his kisses to his jaw, and downwards.

“M-may ...” dazedly uttered Takeru “... maybe … we should … go inside ….” he manged the express.

“Why? ...” nonchalantly replied the elder, as he began to slowly unbutton the younger's shirt, whom was caught completely unawares, for they had plenty of times already engaged in rather heated making out under the same tree, but all the rest, was always brought somewhere else, given as how the elder was always so careful to keep their relationship hidden, and kisses were more easy to stop and explain compared to having sex. Both still very wrong if caught in the act, that he knew, but a kiss left less and impact compared to sex; no doubt about that.

“People … m-might see ...” whispered the younger, whom for the first time really didn't know how to react to such sudden impudence from the other. It almost felt as if their souls had exchanged bodies.

“Mhmm ...” affirmatively hummed the elder, as he got rid of the younger;s shirt “... but I want you now seriously ...” stated the elder “I don not think I can make it to either of our rooms, the closest is yours and it is on the second floor … too far” hurried the elder, pushing down the younger, and getting himself busy in kissing the younger's chest.

“Yasuno! Wait! ...” exclaimed the younger as elder, began to try and get rid of the younger's pants.

“Shhh! You are too loud” loudly whispered the elder, as he successfully got rid of the younger's belt.

“B-but … what … what if they find us ...” self-consciously whispered the younger, as he wondered exactly when did he started wondering about that sort of things; he should simply shut up and enjoy the feeling of the elder's mouth, on his quickly awakened member.

“The flowers are quite high and ...” randomly replied the elder “... if we are lucky nobody will walk by” stated the elder, quickly raising up and lowering back down. To get rid of his shirt, as the younger' helped with his pants.

“We … we … we are going to be in so much ... trouble ... if we get caught … I hope you know this ...” laughing stated the younger, as the elder newly lowered to hungrily kiss the younger, while placing a hand between Takeru's leg to sensually massage his inner thighs, making the younger slightly moan at the warming sensation in-between his legs.

“Mhmm ...” vaguely hummed the elder, as he newly lowering on the younger's chest, randomly sucking and nibbling “... never again more than a the three weeks without having you” wantonly hissed the elder, making the younger, lowly laugh, while he wrapped both his arms around the elder's head.

“N-never ...” joyfully stuttered the younger, as he felt himself getting wet at his entrance, where the lder's tongue was now shamelessly and skilfully intruding. Not too later the familiar feeling of fingers working their way inside and out of him, was having him work very hard to restrian himself from acting as lewd and loud as he normally would have; having sex was still his favorite feeling and pass-time after all.

“Bye-the-bye ...” lowly hissed the elder, as he stopped his scissoring movements and sneaked his way back up over the younger's body, swiftly switching their positions, having the younger on top “... the 'do not have sex with other people' act … will have to be observed by yourself as well ...” stated the elder, as he pushed the younger, in such away that he would slide downwards, as the younger rolled his eyes “... you will have to do an outstanding job down there ...” condescendingly smirked the elder “... we have no lotion and … I would not want you to hurt” stated the elder sounding all but worried.

“I am sure that is your first priority … and it should be ” suddenly expressed the younger, tightly holding the base of the elder's erection with a bit more force than needed, making Yasuno slightly hiss in pain, and lightly lift his head to stare at the younger wide-eyed “... what? ...” nonchalantly inquired the younger, as he began sucking.

“... alright …” suddenly exhaled the elder, making the younger stopped, and skilfully switching their positions “... limit reached and over reached ...” he lewdly whispered, swiftly separating the younger's legs, placing himself in the middle, and trying to push in his erection, without raising himself too high.

“But … I hadn't finis-ah ...” panted, and lowly moaned the younger, as he was being penetrated.

“We ... have ...had it rougher … than this ...” panted the elder, as he began to thrust into the younger, while kissing him, and receiving no reply from Takeru, whom at that point didn't care any longer, as he wrapped his arms and legs around the elder's body moaning and groaning as lowly as he could.

“harder … faster … Yasuno … ah ...” obscenely begged the younger, as he began to meet the elder's movements, while sloppily making out with the elder, as he began to hate the fact that they's unfortunately have to be satisfied with this missionary position, in order to keep it low “... tonight … you will ...nnh.. ah-nnh Yasuno … tonight … youwillnotsleep” managed to mumble the younger, his last words not to comprehensible to himself as well.

“That is my line …” replied the elder, as he increased the speed and intensity of his thrusts “... nnh-Takeru … I am … close ...” stated the elder, as he frantically pounded inside the younger, whom bit down on the elder's shoulder to cover his moaning, as they eventually both came, on inside the younger, the other the elder's chest.

Heavily breathing as the elder lay spent over the younger, they remained silentl, while the younger, vaguely massaged the elder's damp hair, and if it were possible, Takeru truly wished for time to stop in such an instant. In less than twenty minutes not only he'd got back his beloved, he was able to open his eyes to a reality that was very close to the reality of his dreams. If compared to his long seventeen years, no doubt, he'd never been as happy as he'd been in these twenty minutes, in this instant, in which he made this realization.

Takeru … the serene …

What, he didn't know yet, and it was alright not to know, it was indeed to early for that, for his life would hopefully still go on, with and like time flowing, and flowing. For now, all he knew was that he was happy, he was in love, he was loved, and soon enough, he would have been able to truly love himself as well, as he worked on making something out of himself; as he worked on making himself, for himself.

“A little lake ...” suddenly stated the younger.

“A little lake? ...” bemusedly whispered the elder, as they still kept their stances, while the younger, turned his head to the side, to stare at the tall flowers.

“Yes … a little lake ...” calmly repeated the younger “... if we had a little lake, we could say we fell in it, and use it as an excuse for why we are naked …” stated the younger.

“... and on top of each other ...” skeptically stated the elder, with a light laughter.

“we can also have sex in the water ...” carelessly continued the younger “... and get out on opposite sides of it … whatever we do … the point is ...” confidently stated the younger “... the point is that, we would be able to construct some sort of alibi, work around it … the point is .. that I just made it so that we have a high chance of getting away with it” concluded the younger.

“Yes you have indeed ...” admitted the elder, raising his head to peck the younger's cheek.

“Indeed I did not solve the problem, but I made it better ...” nodded the younger staring at the sky “... the goal …” he then paused, thinking through , and making sure he could stick with what he was about to say “... the goal is to find a definite solution!” he exclaimed, as he kept staring at the sky, through the oak's branches, until it hit him “a house! A house on the oak tree! That would hide us! That would be perfect!” excitedly stated the younger, as the elder rolled off Takeru'd body, and stared at the oak's branches as well.

“Wonder how I never thought of that before … good job ...” earnestly stated the elder, making the younger perform a victorious snicker “... now if only you could apply yourself like this for things other than sex” he stated with a pretense exasperated sigh, receiing a side kick from the younger.

“Oh believe me, there is time for that ...” calmly stated the younger, turning on his side “... I am just seventeen, and for this Takeru Hayashi ...” he then firmly stated, proudly pointing at himself “... life has just, finally, started”.

CHAPTER 19 PART 2

A/N: DANG! Finally~ LOL

That took a while uh? But aren't you happy for Takeru?? Hopefully will soon have another lawyer, and Akira will have to be careful. Do you guys think he can become better? Heheheh. In the next part, it will be time for Kazuhiro to shine; Kazuhiro Hayashi will shine … thanks to the help of our dear uncle Kouyou … and some others I suppose. Plus, the announcement everyone in the house (except for Yutaka) had been waiting for, dreading, and sort of knew. So I'll see you all in the nxt part, which we'll hopefully come soon ne~ Thank for reading!

Much Love -LnK♥(~_^ )/-