SILENT KNIGHT, HIDDEN PRINCESS - CHAPTER 3 / ??
Title: Silent Knight, Hidden Princess
Chaper: 3 - I Know You, I Walked with You Once Upon a Dream / ??
Author:luna_no_koibito
Genre: Human Drama, Angst, Romance
Warnings: some cursing, kissing & touching (for this chapter)
Rating: PG-15 (for this chapter)
Pairing: Reita / Kai; Uruha / Ruki
Bands: The GazettE
Disclaimer: Just need your faces darlings, my fingers will type the rest ..._〆(・∀・＠)
Summary: Be. Who you were meant to be, who they want you to be, or who you want to be. This is the story of two boys, eighteen year old Akira Suzuki and fifteen year old Yutaka Uke. This is the story of discovery, love, pain, and all the things that make life what it is; either it good or bad. This is the story of their search, fight, acceptance, hurt, growth, and their trial to understand exactly who and what they want to be in this world. This, is the story of the silent knight, and the hidden princess.
MAIN & LIST OF CHAPTERS
CHAPTER - 2 The Itchy Feeling of Change
I Know You, I Walked with You Once Upon a Dream
**[From now on, every time you'll see this color, it means that sign language is being used]
How could the cheerful sound of birds chirping be so audible in the middle of a train station? How about all the people jammed around him, why were they all smiling at him like he had just been proclaimed miss Japan? And was it just him, or were all the speakers in the station announcing that Uke Yutaka, Uke Yutaka you have a Skype date in a few minute please do hurry!?
Obviously, it was all just him, but he couldn't help it. Thieves? Rapist? Gangs? He was walking home all alone, thus he should have been watching out for those, however, aside from the fact that he was now in Japan and things like that weren't at the order of the day, there was just no way, not on such an amazing day, that any like event could happen. Evil could absolutely not touch him right now, everything was just too perfect.
All because he was going to see a boy, whom he had been fantasizing about for the past four years, on a monitor looking right back at him, and him only. Akira was going to willingly be sitting at his desk, looking into the camera to talk to Yutaka. With all certainty, it absolutely wasn't a big deal, but it was for him, it was a huge deal. God he was so happy!
Swiftly rushing through the front door of his house, he silently rejoiced at the fact that his parents weren't back yet. He was indeed on cloud nine at the moment, but he had this nagging presentiment that they could have changed all of that. Once on the second floor, the brunette instantly halted in the middle of the corridor to read a text message he had just received.
From: Akira Suzuki
To: Me
I'm on whenever you are back or ready (^ ^” ).
After having read the message a couple of more unnecessary times, he impulsively held the device tightly on his chest, as he happily sighed, in the typical way any love-struck teenager girl would have. Still safely wrapped in his bubble of excitement, the brunette was then about to dart into his room, when said bubble instantly popped at the sight of his twin sister. Apparently, he had stopped right in front of her room, which door was half-way opened, and into which room his eyes had naturally fell showing her making weirdly familiar sign in front of her full-size mirror.
Yes, undoubtedly, his parents could have dragged him from cloud nine all the way to Earth, but Yutaka never would have thought that his sister, out of all the people, could have been the one capable of plunging him right through Earth into a much darker abyss. As he kept staring at the increasingly dreadful scene praying to whomever would listen, for it not to be what he feared was happening, Yutaka instinctively opened the door a bit more as he gingerly walked in, making Yurika slightly jolt, and turn towards him.
“Oh my god Yu!” she exclaimed looking quite startled but also relived, as she gazed at her twin, while holding her hand over her heart “... I totally hadn't noticed you were even back, sorry, Okaeri!” she then serenely proclaimed, awkwardly straightening her shirt, after which she folded her arms on her waist, most likely waiting for any input from Yutaka, whom was still staring at her, and the full-size mirror, the presentiment getting stronger and stronger; the two of them were twins after all, he shouldn't have been surprised, should have he?
“Tadaima ...” he lowly replied some seconds later, chewing on his lower lip, while trying his best to make things feel as less awkward as they had been ever since he had returned to Sapporo. However, the answer to the question he was about to make, was must certainly going to redefine awkward by a whole lot “... sorry, I just rushed in, but then I randomly saw you, and was wondering what you were doing ...” he inquired, as composedly as he could.
“Oh! I must have looked weird uh? ...” she lightly laughed, glimpsing between her brother and her mirror, while she gracefully tucked in a few strands of her now artificially light-brown her behind her ear in an almost apologetic way. Just yesterday, her hair was black, and had no bangs; it was never a good sign when girls changed their hairstyle “... I was practicing, sign language practice ...” she then added cutely smiling. Just as he had thought. Lightly smiling as well, while nodding his head at the whole situation, Yutaka walked further into the room, instead of just getting the hell out like his inner-self was screaming for him to do. He stayed. Stayed to ask more question, to which he deep down inside already knew the answer. They were twins after all.
“I didn't know you … knew how to ...” he plainly observed, completely omitting any compliments on her sister's new hair due, as a brother he normally would have, but the current situation wouldn't have allowed him to be any sincere, or kind about any sort of compliment.
“True that ...” she apologetically smiled “... I actually began three years ago, and ever since I have just been teaching myself but also getting professional help … I am planning to get certified” she humbly admitted, because Yurika never bragged about anything. Cute sweet Yurika. Overly modest, too modest for her own good, never meaning any harm, always so ready to help anyone in need, but so clueless. So freaking clueless.
By the time she had realized that Yutaka had been bullied at school, Yuu and Akira had already taken him under their wings so to say, and all the young girl could do was cry and cry to her twin brother, whom kept reassuring her that there was nothing wrong in her not having noticed, and that she shouldn't have felt guilty. That was how clueless she was.
“So ...” resumed Yutaka “You just started studying sign language, just like that, out of nowhere ...” he concluded smiling, even though as he spoke each and every single word he felt like he was accusing her.
“Well ...” she then shyly began, passing her hand through the top of her beautiful and wavy long brown hair “... I did indeed start because of a boy, you know ...” she playfully dismissed “... but somehow, still don't know how, I became totally serious about it” she instantly reassured. And right there and then, he should have just left.
He stayed.
“Okay so, have you "signed" with this boy? ...” he went on, walking to stand next to his sister, while folding his arms on his chest.
“No ...” she distressingly professed “... it is so weird I know, but, I have talked it through with Ai, and it is time for me to just talk to him already, I mean … I've liked him for how long now? Four years?” she then rhetorically questioned, as Yutaka merely shrugged in a very nonchalant how am I supposed to knowway “And, actually, I was going to talk-sign to him tomorrow … which is why I was practicing … he goes to our school ...” she vaguely concluded, turning towards he mirror “I'm so nervous Yu ...” she then admitted, widely holding her teeth tight, and rubbing her hands together, while forlornly looking at her twin.
Yutaka merely smiled, as he wondered why on Earth was he wanting, needing, to hear his sister speak the name of "this boy". There was absolutely no need for that. There was no need for him to feed on his peculiar kind of masochism in such a blatant way. How many other mute boys were there in their school? None.
“You do know that there aren't exactly many mute boys in our school, in fact I can only think of one ...” he skeptically pointed out, grinning at the end “... you keep saying "this boy" is absolutely not going to make his identity any less obvious ...” he concluded, at which she performed an even more forlorn pout, after which she hid her face in her hands.
“Even just saying his name makes me so flustered ...” she admitted, shaking her head, as Yutaka kept up with his trained smile, wondering exactly when his heart was finally going to reach the bottom of this fucking pit. Why the fuck was he putting himself through this? “... and I know you know who he is, you obviously do, you used to hang out with him and Aoi, even today, I saw you guys talk … I just, he's just ...” she kept mumbling in her hands, after which she sighed, and freed her face of her hands “... at least in my opinion, he is so nice, and gentle, and smart, and so cool … his like a-”
“A knight in shining armor?” dramatically cut off Yutaka, at which Yurika silently smiled and resignedly nodded.
“I can't believe I am talking about this with you right now … you guys just probably spent the afternoon together right now, didn't you?” she pointed out, laughing at herself “... but … I am glad I did tell you though ...” she then added in a more serious tone “... things just felt so awkward since you came back, I am glad we are still able to talk, like this … you are still my dear Yu-kun after all” she serenely smiled “but please don't tell him a word!” she then playfully begged.
“Trust me I won't ...” he then reassured her, making her smile in mock relief, and successively giggle.
“Awesome, thanks ...” she then replied “... now I'll go back to practicing ...” she politely announced, pointing at her mirror. Yutaka merely nodded, and watch her going at her routine. He watched her, her perfect feminine figure, her amazing long wavy hair, the skilful way in which she gestured each sign. She really had turned into a very beautiful teen.
Why had things turned out the way they were?
Why had they been born fraternal twins instead of identical, why had he turned out to be gay, why had she turned out the be so naive and fragile. So many fucking question, and no way to make any of it any better. As he walked out of her room, and into his, he closed the door, and wondered whether he shouldn't just conform for the greater good.
But it wasn't like he hadn't tried. It wasn't like he hadn't forced himself to stop being who he was, he tried really hard for the entire first year at San Francis. He really was tired of having to feel like he was doing something wrong, finally, "the world" had succeeded in making him believe that it was time for him to want to be like everyone else. Time to openly be what he wasn't.
But they eventually failed. True, there had been a certain red-head instigator whom was majorly at fault for S. Francis having failed with him. Yet, even if there hadn't been, how much would he have lasted in a skin that wasn't his? Why was it expected of him to want to fight against himself? How could people taint anything so easily? Akira Suzuki so happened to be both his and his sister's knight in shining armor, yet, the notion of Akira and Yurika was natural, whereas Akira and Yutaka was perverted.
But wasn't Akira and Yutaka, just … Akira and Yutaka? It wasn't Akira and Yutaka and you, or Akira and Yutaka and family, or Akira and Yutaka and the world. The world had no business in that. The world just needed to learn how to mind its business, pass that fucking Penis-in-Vagina class, and finally graduate from The-Bible-Says High School. But that was just him anyways.
What could Yutaka Uke do all by his little self?
Staring at his computer he bitterly smiled. Nothing, Yutaka Uke could do shit all by his little self. The world gave two shits about him and they didn't like to see his "kind" freely parading around. They wanted to see people like Akira and Yurika, and Yutaka could just picture them together, conversing so happily, so naturally, looking so meant to be; like a fairy-tale. The problem here was that when he saw himself with Akira, to him, it looked just as beautiful, felt just as natural. But then again, he had to start with assuming that Akira was most likely not gay, and if he were to be presented to someone like Yurika, why would he ever want to pass up on that? Shaking his head, Yutaka bitterly smirked.
Cloud nine. What the fuck was that and how the fuck had he ended up there in the first place?
Why the hell had he allowed himself to get so elated? His life sucked by principle, how could he have forgotten so quickly? In two days of him being away from his reality, how could he have suddenly become so hopeful. Because of a smile? Gentle words? What exactly was he hanging on to? Why had he been so confident about this return to Sapporo? So confident to the point of having vehemently chewed-off that stupid red-head when he was being told that he was just trying to turn someone straight into gay, which wasn't ever the wisest of things.
He didn't know, and it mattered not anyways. Right now, he just wished he had the will to really just get up, be a true Japanese, and throw himself under a train, because being himself on this planet was rather tiring and more mortifying than gratifying. But … if doing as much ... would mean that he wouldn't have been able to see Akira again, which was currently even scarier than the prospect of death and that was how hopeless he was, how hopelessly in love he was.
Walking towards the PC, he turned it on, and waited to get on Skype in his usual invisible mode. Once inside he saw the notification signal blinking, and as he clicked on it, he saw Akira Suzuki's request. If he were to accept now, the blond would expect to have a conversation, obviously. But there was no way he was going to accept that now, because he knew that in the desperate way he felt, he was apt to say or do something he would regret.
Jack_&_CocK So is the prince still charming?
Jack_&_CocK BORING. (-O-" )
Jack_&_CocK How long are you going to ignore me for?!!!
Jack_&_CocK … S. Francis is boring as hell now that you are gone.
Jack_&_CocK I wish you were here, actually. Erase that. FUCK THAT.
You hate this place don't you. Well everyone does.
I, as usual, could give a FUCK (-_- ). I just want to be wherever
you are, that's all. I still do. You should too. There
really is no point in chasing dreams Yutaka. But if you
MUST, if your life MUST be a fairy tale, then just
let me be your prince. You know I can. You just have
to let go.
Jack_&_CocK I think I'll take a trip. S. Francis is REALLY boring now.
That fucking red-head. Why wouldn't he just leave him alone on that matter? Why did he even go and click on his notification anyways. He should have just let them pile up there. That idiot. But then again, who was the greater idiot for keeping him in his friends list? You just have to let go like people had fucking switches they could turn on and off as they pleased to decided whom to love.
Angrily groaning, he got up, dropped himself on his bed, closed his eyes, and reassessed the situation to see if it looked any better, now that he was laying down and that he couldn't see the world around himself. His sister was crushing on with the same person he was crushing on. He was already ditching the only person, he cared not to ditch. How was he going to face Akira tomorrow? He still had a penis. That last thought was way random, but in summary, his reality still sucked the same. Keeping his eyes closed tighter, he breathed out, and forced himself to sleep.
There might have been no point in chasing dreams, but dreaming felt good. It certainly beat playing with wrists and blades. Yeah.
@---,---'------☆~♥~☆------'---,---@
A big part of him wanted yesterday to have been just a big dream. A very realistic dream involving memories of a person he knew, cared about, and had forgotten, Akira truly wanted to walk up to Aoi and somehow have him say that Kai's return had been all a figment of his imagination, because apparently, he just didn't know how to deal with it. It was confusing, almost nerve-wracking, but weirdly exciting, and all a first, because he'd never felt this way before all at ones.
This storm of emotions was generated by realizing that he didn't know how to deal with having felt so disappointed at the fact that Kai hadn't showed up on Skype last night, or how to deal with presently feeling so stupid for having felt so disappointed, or even not knowing how to deal with not knowing why he felt so stupid for having felt so disappointed. Just confusing.
It wasn't even a big deal. Yet he was bothered by it. And it wasn't even the fact that Kai hadn't showed up in itself that truly bothered him, because Aoi was very apt to do as much, and he himself as well. It was quite possible that something could have happened, shit always happened. What seemed to be bothering him was the fact that he had actually really been looking forward to it, and he hadn't noticed that until he finally decided to give up and go to bed a good amount of hours later.
He couldn't remember whether or not his mother had greeted him this morning when he left the house, he'd completely forgot his canvas with the uncompleted drawing of the school he'd started yesterday, and he was a few steps away from missing his group, if Aoi hadn't yelled his name. All because his head was seemingly occupied by unexplainable thoughts regarding a particular brunette. Even that feeling that had been bothering him so much, the feeling of something missing, was entirely gone, to be more precise, there was currently absolutely no more "space" in him for any more feelings.
“Yo, you looked so lost ...” instantly observed Aoi, once the blond had joined him and the rest “... did you sleep well, you look kinda pale ...” kept adding Aoi, while Akira merely stayed silent as he nodded, and unknowingly looked around to search for something, or rather someone.
“What are you, his mother?” promptly observed Ruki, whom this morning was tightly wrapped around the arm of his boyfriend, a much taller honey-blond, now sophomore, named Kouyou, but whom Ruki called Uruha.
“Sorry didn't quite mean to overstep your role, I'll be more careful ...” cynically pointed out Aoi “... how the fuck do you even stand that thing?” he then inquired looking at an apologetically smiling Uruha “like, we know him, and know his a pain in the ass, but you know, like family, we won't drop his ass, but you could have dropped his ass long ago … instead … you guys are approaching a year, kudos to yo-” he was about to concluded, when he was sharply cut off by Omi whom powerfully slapped his arm.
“Who the fuck are you? Really! Mind your own!” she chided, making the brunette, glare at her, and get ready for a reproach when Uruha suddenly spoke.
“Please senpai do not fight over us ...” humbly spoke the honey-blond “... though I actually wouldn't even know how to answer that question” he then admitted with a sheepish smile.
“What do you mean you don't even know how to answer that question?!” indignantly retorted Ruki, ungracefully dropping the taller boy's arm, and beginning a vicious monologue-rant, with Uruha trying his humble best to pacify him, at the same time with Omi and Aoi still arguing on their side, while Akira, and Kazuki silently watched. It was quiet a troubling scenario to walk in on, but Akira knew quite well that in ten minutes at most both couples would have been making out like there was going to be no tomorrow.
Olivia?
Akira asked turning his cell at Kazuki, whom was apathetically standing between the quarreling couples. Kazuki shrugged, while shaking his head.
“I wish I knew as well” he calmly stated “She didn't come home last night. Our parents were shitting angry. It was quite the scenario ... but she does this from time to time, so I wouldn't be worried about it” he added, as Akira nodding at the weirdness of it all, and simply turned around to join the taller in absently observing their friends, though his eyes quickly shifted past them, and stuck at the entrance gate. Would wishing for Kai make the brunette suddenly walk through those gates? It was a stupid thought, but suddenly seeing the brunette doing as much, almost made the blond drop his cell-phone to the ground because of the shock incurred by such sight. Be careful what you wish for.
The brunette was side by side a girl with long wavy brown hair, and they were walking in their direction. Both his hands were deep in the pockets of his black coat, as he absently stared in front of himself, whereas the girl had her head lowered, and was walking quite close to Kai, as if scared of leaving his side. Kai was indeed a handsome boy, it made sense for him to have had a girlfriend, but such a fact had never even crossed Akira's mind at all. In fact, if he had to be honest with himself, at the moment, said sight, was bothering him; a whole lot.
On impulse, the blond tore his gaze away from the brunette and the girl to randomly take a quick glance at Aoi and Omi, whom were vigorously necking, just as he had predicted. In an almost restless manner, he then shifted his gaze to Uruha and Ruki, whom were going at it as well but in a less aggressive, more tender way, than the previous couple. So why was it that the sight of Kai and "this girl", whom had high chances of being his girlfriend, simply walking and keeping themselves to each other, was currently distressing him the way it was? What would happen if she suddenly held his hand, or even kiss him? Akira didn't know, but something told him he absolutely did not want witness that. Fuck. Why was it that Kai affected him the way he did? It was as if he awakened things in him he hadn't even known he had in the first place.
“Oh look who's here ...” grinned Aoi, as he unlocked his lips from Omi, as soon as Kai and the girl had arrived “... Yurika? Is that you?” exclaimed Aoi sounding quite surprised, as the girl nodded and shyly smiled, keeping her gaze to herself “Oh damn! I almost didn't recognize you with that hair color, and the bangs, and all … you look cute” he then stated, as the girl instantly blushed.
“Are you just going to let him flirt like that?” sarcastically pointed out Ruki, whom was in the process of creating a rated-R scene with Uruha, whom was gently trying to keep him from doing as much.
“Well I suppose you can't see her face too well … but that's Kai's sister, his twin sister” calmly replied Omi, at which Ruki suddenly stopped his perverted aggression and took a good look at the girl.
“Oh shit ...” bafflingly stated the dirty blond, still staring at the girl “... now that I think about it … the way she carry herself, she kinda reminds me of what Kai used to look like four years ago ...” teasingly observed Ruki, mischievously grinning at Kai, while newly wrapping himself all-over Uruha.
Twin sister. How the hell had he forgotten about something like that? True, he had never seen her before, but Aoi had mentioned Kai having a twin sister "I tell you, Yutaka is so girly they might as well just be identical twins, for real!". The incredible feeling of relief that washed over Akira at such information was quite sudden, but more than anything, it was worrying. Scary.
“So what brings you amongst us today? ...” nonchalantly inquired Omi.
“I … I have a big exam coming up in two months, for a certification in sign language ...” she lowly explained, as everyone simultaneously glimpsed at Akira, whom didn't exactly hate being the center of attention, but wasn't too comfortable with it either.
“I didn't know you knew sign language” promptly declared Aoi, glancing in Kai's direction, whom was still to spoke a single word ever since they had arrived. The younger brunette, merely stared in the general direction of nowhere, with his hands still deep into his pockets. Would wishing for Kai to look at him make him do as much? No luck this time, in fact, it might have been Akira's impression, but it did seem as if brunette was trying to avoid looking at him. Had he perhaps unknowingly done something to offend him yesterday ?
This felt very deja-vu.
“I began to teach myself three years ago, and just really got into it ...” Yurika modestly explained, she as well completely avoiding Akira, which the blond thought rather peculiar given as how she obviously had come there for him. But he supposed that this now made sense. Since Yurika did know sign language, there was no point for Kai to want to learn it from him. But was that all? Was he now absolutely of no value to the brunette anymore. Was Kai avoiding looking at him, because he just didn't know how to tell him that? “So I was wondering whether … maybe we could practice, if you could help get ready … for this exam ...” He needed to calm down. That thought made absolutely no sense. The of them spent an awesome afternoon, right before even bringing up the sign language topic “... Akira-senpai? ...” something else most have happened “A-akira-senpai? …” But what?!
“Oi Reita! Have you finally gone deaf too?!” bellowed Aoi, snapping the blond back to the present reality and away from his distressing thoughts. He supposed that's what Kazuki was trying to do by politely nudging him with his elbow “... she asked if you'd help her … what's wrong with you today … seriously ...” asked Aoi, looking somewhat concerned.
I will be glad to help you readily signed Akira smiling at the girl, whom instantly blushed.
Thank you so much shakily replied Yurika, offering a very cute and shy smile I do not want to be a bother to you, I was not sure if I should ask or not, but I am glad you accepted she then added, shaking much less, and Akira could tell that she was trying her best, which she actually didn't seem to need; she was really good at it.
You are really good, I am impressed complimented Akira, at which Yurika's face turned even redder.
“You just said I was a dick-head didn't you … I'll kill you Reita!” playfully threatened Aoi, at which the blond sarcastically nodded “... but no kidding girl, you're good … no wonder, we share the same blood” proudly state Aoi.
“I'm sure you meant big wonder we share the same blood” promptly observed Ruki.
“I agree” plainly stated Kazuki, in his cool stoicism.
“Fuck you, and you too Kazuki, not as much as Ruki, but yeah, fuck you! And you too Reita because sure like hell you were thinking the same!” retorted Aoi, hiding his head in the crook of Omi's shoulder in pretense offense, after Akira had plainly nodded in agreement with his supposition, while everyone, but Kai, laughed, which made Akira realize that a sight of a not-laughing Kai was also a sight he didn't like too much. In consequence, that thought made him realize that he did fancy the bruentte's smile. He fancied it a lot.
Any time convenient for you, to meet up?hesitantly inquired Yurika, as everyone else began talking about other topics.
Whenever it is most convenient to- Akira had resumed to sign, but instantly stopped, as he watched Kai merely walk away. Just like that, as if nobody would have noticed, and for the first time, in such a long time, he wished he had a voice. Because he wanted to have been the one to call out for him and asking him where was he going so suddenly, and without greeting, instead of Aoi.
“I remembered I had to check something real quick before classes, and I didn’t want to disturb you all ...” apologetically and swiftly stated Kai.
“The fuck is that supposed to mean?” skeptically replied Aoi “... like you'd ever be a bother, if that were to be the case, we should have kicked out Ruki looooong ago ...” observed Aoi, keeping a pretense serious expression, while receiving a very clear middle finger by the shorter dirty blond “... just saying, don't you ever think shit like that, okay?” genuinely stated Aoi, as Yutaka smiled in reply, nodding at everyone else, and began to walk away.
Wait! Don't go! About yesterday ...
Akira could have opened his mouth as loud as he could, but it would change nothing, those words would have never resounded. Kai. That simple word would have stopped the brunette, and that simple thing, he couldn't do. All he could do was stand there and watch as the brunette slowly walked away. If Aoi only knew how lucky he was to be able to always shout like that, he'd probably blabber less shit than he usually did. Wow. He hadn't meant to think that at all. He truly hadn't, not in the mean way he just thought it. Still, it didn't change the fact that he thought it, and most likely meant it for that second in which he said it, and that got him even more frustrated.
“Yu!” suddenly called Yurika, at which the brunette quickly stopped and merely looked back, bot his hands still in his pockets, making his school back awkwardly bend out on his side “I almost forgot ...” she mumbled, frantically looking for something in her purse, which she apparently couldn't find, making the brunette walk all the way back to the two of them.
Kai was now coming back to them. Great. Now what? Akira had really wanted to know what had happened yesterday, but he just couldn't bring it out randomly like that. They'd have to meet. Just the two of them, because he had a feeling that he'd avoid the subject if even just Aoi was present.. Then again, it could have been an excuse to just be alone with him, wasn't it? Whatever it was, he first needed to get them to be alone with each other. How?
“What?” hurriedly inquired the brunette, once he walked up by his sister's side, whom was still ravaging her purse.
“You were totally spacing out this morning ...” she calmly began to explain “... you forgot your keys, on the table … so I grabbed them and just threw them in my purse ...” concluded the girl, as Kai instantly began to search his pocket with a bit of stupor to the information.
Think, Akira, think! mentally kept screaming the blond, as he tightly held his cellphone in the pocket of his coat.
“I swear Yu, they are here somewhere ...” kept repeating the girl.
Think of something Akira, goddammit! frantically pondered the blond.
“I hadn't even noticed ...” sheepishly replied Kai, with an apologetic smile, which finally gave the blond an idea. Readily bringing out the calling device, he then swiftly typed something, and at the same time in which Yurika finally brought out the keys, he had the cell towards the brunette.
Faced with two objects in his direction, the brunette didn't even seemed to notice the keys, as his eyes instantly fell on the bright white screen of Akira's phone.
I need a subject for a drawing I need to turn in for a scholarship, would you please pose for me?
Blinking in seemingly silent stupor, Kai swiftly looked up from the screen to the blond as if he wasn't believing what he had just read.
“I, well, like, maybe … maybe, wouldn't Yurika be better for something like that, she is pretty, a girl, and all ...” awkwardly dismissed the brunette, suddenly staring in every direction but the elder's, whom resumed typing.
The theme is “Nostalgia”. I've just met Yurika so it wouldn't quite work for this piece
He quickly showed, apologetically nodding at Yurika, whom quickly shook her head in a shy no-offense-taken way, while Akira added a word more.
Please.
“Well, I guess … It would be rude to refuse … since a senpai is asking and all … so okay, I guess” hesitantly replied the brunette, quickly glimpsing at Yurika, as Akira resumed typing.
Aoi has band practice today, after class, if you are free want to meet? So that I can start, it would take me a while, and of course, we should also set a time so that I can help you with sign language
Concluded the blond and showed the both of them. Ideally, since he had already asked Kai for this afternoon, if Kai were to have accepted, Yurika would have chosen another day. She was already incredibly good at sign language anyways, so she definitely didn't need to worry about not starting immediately. But, for the health of his sanity, Kai needed to accept meeting with him this afternoon.
Glimpsing at his sister, Kai hesitated to answer, when Yurika spoke up.
“Well I can't this afternoon anyways, so I was thinking ... maybe ... tomorrow after school ...” humbly and shyly expressed the girl, as Akira genuinely smiled, and gave her a thumbs up, while internally rejoicing. Wasn't it great when things went one's way once in a while?! Now it all depended on Kai.
“Okay” finally spoke Kai “... this afternoon after school, it is okay” he lowly added glimpsing at the blond, whom was excitedly grinning, while typing.
Okay then, we'll meet like yesterday and go to my place. Aoi can join us later, after practice (^ ^” )
Showed the blond, and Kai nodded in agreement, and this time genuinely smiled. Indeed, Kai looked much better smiling, thought Akira as he smiled back.
“Didn’t you have to go check shit at the library or something?” nonchalantly questioned Aoi.
“Oh god shut the fuck up! You totally just ruined a moment, and you probably don't even know ...” snapped Ruki, to whom Aoi gave a particularly annoyed and clueless look.
“The fuck are you talking about? He said he needed to go to the library before, remember? He is just wasting time now, class is about to start!” retorted Aoi, at whom Ruki merely shook his head, while looking at him as if he were looking at "something" he couldn't believe was begin allowed to talk and walk.
“Well, yeah, Aoi is right” promptly intervened Kai “so I'll go, and … I guess I'll see you later, after school” the brunette then confirmed, as Akira promptly nodded and satisfyingly smiled “... thanks for the keys Yurika” he then added.
“No problem, I'll go too, have to meet up with the girls and stuff ...” vaguely dismissed the girl, deeply bowing at everyone, and rushing away.
After having watched his sister almost storm away, Kai newly smiled and nodded Akira, whom newly smiled and waved at him, this time composedly watching him walk away. And that was the way he felt it had to be. He still wasn't understanding the reason to his wanting to monopolize the brunette, but this was how it felt comfortable with him. Akira had to have the last look, the last smile, and though it would have been awesome if he could also have the last word, this was just fine; for now.
CHAPTER 4 - Nostalgia of the Heart Is? …
AN: Ever experienced IMMENSE HAPPINESS, to then be UNBELIEVABLY MISERABLE just the darned second later? (SO MANY TIMES). Obviously, and sometimes righteously, we depress about it, and one “bad” thing we do in moments like this is ASSUME. We assume so much. Though sometimes, we might just be right on point, most of the times we totally pissed out (pardon the french … ). Kai is totally on the mindset that Akira will completely fall for Yurika because of reasons that are in appearance not stupid at all. But Akira, as you all could see, could have cared less of the poor Yurika, because he was worried with thoughts of Kai. And isn't this how this world works? Now imagine each and every individual living on this planet, all of us with different mindset, all of us regularly ASSUMING SHIT (because we are all scared to just say things as they are) … is it a surprise that this world is as complicated as it is? (^ ^” ). Mmmmmm … LOL
ANYWAYS! See next chapter, and for those of you whom might have just started reading my things, and might have commented stories, I thank you and also wanted to tell you that I ALWAYS reply, it might take me QUITE SOME TIME because I am constantly busy m(_ _)m BUT replies will always arrive if you happen to comment. Also thank you to all the people that even just read, I am ASSUMING that there are people who read and not comment, and it is just fine do not get alarmed! I am not that THAT TYPE of writer at all I am just making sure to thank everyone! d(-_^ )
Gonna post this now, then catch the bus home now, and reply as soon as I get home m(_ _ )m
Much Love -LnK♥(~_^ )/-
Chaper: 3 - I Know You, I Walked with You Once Upon a Dream / ??
Author:luna_no_koibito
Genre: Human Drama, Angst, Romance
Warnings: some cursing, kissing & touching (for this chapter)
Rating: PG-15 (for this chapter)
Pairing: Reita / Kai; Uruha / Ruki
Bands: The GazettE
Disclaimer: Just need your faces darlings, my fingers will type the rest ..._〆(・∀・＠)
Summary: Be. Who you were meant to be, who they want you to be, or who you want to be. This is the story of two boys, eighteen year old Akira Suzuki and fifteen year old Yutaka Uke. This is the story of discovery, love, pain, and all the things that make life what it is; either it good or bad. This is the story of their search, fight, acceptance, hurt, growth, and their trial to understand exactly who and what they want to be in this world. This, is the story of the silent knight, and the hidden princess.
MAIN & LIST OF CHAPTERS
CHAPTER - 2 The Itchy Feeling of Change
I Know You, I Walked with You Once Upon a Dream
**[From now on, every time you'll see this color, it means that sign language is being used]
How could the cheerful sound of birds chirping be so audible in the middle of a train station? How about all the people jammed around him, why were they all smiling at him like he had just been proclaimed miss Japan? And was it just him, or were all the speakers in the station announcing that Uke Yutaka, Uke Yutaka you have a Skype date in a few minute please do hurry!?
Obviously, it was all just him, but he couldn't help it. Thieves? Rapist? Gangs? He was walking home all alone, thus he should have been watching out for those, however, aside from the fact that he was now in Japan and things like that weren't at the order of the day, there was just no way, not on such an amazing day, that any like event could happen. Evil could absolutely not touch him right now, everything was just too perfect.
All because he was going to see a boy, whom he had been fantasizing about for the past four years, on a monitor looking right back at him, and him only. Akira was going to willingly be sitting at his desk, looking into the camera to talk to Yutaka. With all certainty, it absolutely wasn't a big deal, but it was for him, it was a huge deal. God he was so happy!
Swiftly rushing through the front door of his house, he silently rejoiced at the fact that his parents weren't back yet. He was indeed on cloud nine at the moment, but he had this nagging presentiment that they could have changed all of that. Once on the second floor, the brunette instantly halted in the middle of the corridor to read a text message he had just received.
From: Akira Suzuki
To: Me
I'm on whenever you are back or ready (^ ^” ).
After having read the message a couple of more unnecessary times, he impulsively held the device tightly on his chest, as he happily sighed, in the typical way any love-struck teenager girl would have. Still safely wrapped in his bubble of excitement, the brunette was then about to dart into his room, when said bubble instantly popped at the sight of his twin sister. Apparently, he had stopped right in front of her room, which door was half-way opened, and into which room his eyes had naturally fell showing her making weirdly familiar sign in front of her full-size mirror.
Yes, undoubtedly, his parents could have dragged him from cloud nine all the way to Earth, but Yutaka never would have thought that his sister, out of all the people, could have been the one capable of plunging him right through Earth into a much darker abyss. As he kept staring at the increasingly dreadful scene praying to whomever would listen, for it not to be what he feared was happening, Yutaka instinctively opened the door a bit more as he gingerly walked in, making Yurika slightly jolt, and turn towards him.
“Oh my god Yu!” she exclaimed looking quite startled but also relived, as she gazed at her twin, while holding her hand over her heart “... I totally hadn't noticed you were even back, sorry, Okaeri!” she then serenely proclaimed, awkwardly straightening her shirt, after which she folded her arms on her waist, most likely waiting for any input from Yutaka, whom was still staring at her, and the full-size mirror, the presentiment getting stronger and stronger; the two of them were twins after all, he shouldn't have been surprised, should have he?
“Tadaima ...” he lowly replied some seconds later, chewing on his lower lip, while trying his best to make things feel as less awkward as they had been ever since he had returned to Sapporo. However, the answer to the question he was about to make, was must certainly going to redefine awkward by a whole lot “... sorry, I just rushed in, but then I randomly saw you, and was wondering what you were doing ...” he inquired, as composedly as he could.
“Oh! I must have looked weird uh? ...” she lightly laughed, glimpsing between her brother and her mirror, while she gracefully tucked in a few strands of her now artificially light-brown her behind her ear in an almost apologetic way. Just yesterday, her hair was black, and had no bangs; it was never a good sign when girls changed their hairstyle “... I was practicing, sign language practice ...” she then added cutely smiling. Just as he had thought. Lightly smiling as well, while nodding his head at the whole situation, Yutaka walked further into the room, instead of just getting the hell out like his inner-self was screaming for him to do. He stayed. Stayed to ask more question, to which he deep down inside already knew the answer. They were twins after all.
“I didn't know you … knew how to ...” he plainly observed, completely omitting any compliments on her sister's new hair due, as a brother he normally would have, but the current situation wouldn't have allowed him to be any sincere, or kind about any sort of compliment.
“True that ...” she apologetically smiled “... I actually began three years ago, and ever since I have just been teaching myself but also getting professional help … I am planning to get certified” she humbly admitted, because Yurika never bragged about anything. Cute sweet Yurika. Overly modest, too modest for her own good, never meaning any harm, always so ready to help anyone in need, but so clueless. So freaking clueless.
By the time she had realized that Yutaka had been bullied at school, Yuu and Akira had already taken him under their wings so to say, and all the young girl could do was cry and cry to her twin brother, whom kept reassuring her that there was nothing wrong in her not having noticed, and that she shouldn't have felt guilty. That was how clueless she was.
“So ...” resumed Yutaka “You just started studying sign language, just like that, out of nowhere ...” he concluded smiling, even though as he spoke each and every single word he felt like he was accusing her.
“Well ...” she then shyly began, passing her hand through the top of her beautiful and wavy long brown hair “... I did indeed start because of a boy, you know ...” she playfully dismissed “... but somehow, still don't know how, I became totally serious about it” she instantly reassured. And right there and then, he should have just left.
He stayed.
“Okay so, have you "signed" with this boy? ...” he went on, walking to stand next to his sister, while folding his arms on his chest.
“No ...” she distressingly professed “... it is so weird I know, but, I have talked it through with Ai, and it is time for me to just talk to him already, I mean … I've liked him for how long now? Four years?” she then rhetorically questioned, as Yutaka merely shrugged in a very nonchalant how am I supposed to knowway “And, actually, I was going to talk-sign to him tomorrow … which is why I was practicing … he goes to our school ...” she vaguely concluded, turning towards he mirror “I'm so nervous Yu ...” she then admitted, widely holding her teeth tight, and rubbing her hands together, while forlornly looking at her twin.
Yutaka merely smiled, as he wondered why on Earth was he wanting, needing, to hear his sister speak the name of "this boy". There was absolutely no need for that. There was no need for him to feed on his peculiar kind of masochism in such a blatant way. How many other mute boys were there in their school? None.
“You do know that there aren't exactly many mute boys in our school, in fact I can only think of one ...” he skeptically pointed out, grinning at the end “... you keep saying "this boy" is absolutely not going to make his identity any less obvious ...” he concluded, at which she performed an even more forlorn pout, after which she hid her face in her hands.
“Even just saying his name makes me so flustered ...” she admitted, shaking her head, as Yutaka kept up with his trained smile, wondering exactly when his heart was finally going to reach the bottom of this fucking pit. Why the fuck was he putting himself through this? “... and I know you know who he is, you obviously do, you used to hang out with him and Aoi, even today, I saw you guys talk … I just, he's just ...” she kept mumbling in her hands, after which she sighed, and freed her face of her hands “... at least in my opinion, he is so nice, and gentle, and smart, and so cool … his like a-”
“A knight in shining armor?” dramatically cut off Yutaka, at which Yurika silently smiled and resignedly nodded.
“I can't believe I am talking about this with you right now … you guys just probably spent the afternoon together right now, didn't you?” she pointed out, laughing at herself “... but … I am glad I did tell you though ...” she then added in a more serious tone “... things just felt so awkward since you came back, I am glad we are still able to talk, like this … you are still my dear Yu-kun after all” she serenely smiled “but please don't tell him a word!” she then playfully begged.
“Trust me I won't ...” he then reassured her, making her smile in mock relief, and successively giggle.
“Awesome, thanks ...” she then replied “... now I'll go back to practicing ...” she politely announced, pointing at her mirror. Yutaka merely nodded, and watch her going at her routine. He watched her, her perfect feminine figure, her amazing long wavy hair, the skilful way in which she gestured each sign. She really had turned into a very beautiful teen.
Why had things turned out the way they were?
Why had they been born fraternal twins instead of identical, why had he turned out to be gay, why had she turned out the be so naive and fragile. So many fucking question, and no way to make any of it any better. As he walked out of her room, and into his, he closed the door, and wondered whether he shouldn't just conform for the greater good.
But it wasn't like he hadn't tried. It wasn't like he hadn't forced himself to stop being who he was, he tried really hard for the entire first year at San Francis. He really was tired of having to feel like he was doing something wrong, finally, "the world" had succeeded in making him believe that it was time for him to want to be like everyone else. Time to openly be what he wasn't.
But they eventually failed. True, there had been a certain red-head instigator whom was majorly at fault for S. Francis having failed with him. Yet, even if there hadn't been, how much would he have lasted in a skin that wasn't his? Why was it expected of him to want to fight against himself? How could people taint anything so easily? Akira Suzuki so happened to be both his and his sister's knight in shining armor, yet, the notion of Akira and Yurika was natural, whereas Akira and Yutaka was perverted.
But wasn't Akira and Yutaka, just … Akira and Yutaka? It wasn't Akira and Yutaka and you, or Akira and Yutaka and family, or Akira and Yutaka and the world. The world had no business in that. The world just needed to learn how to mind its business, pass that fucking Penis-in-Vagina class, and finally graduate from The-Bible-Says High School. But that was just him anyways.
What could Yutaka Uke do all by his little self?
Staring at his computer he bitterly smiled. Nothing, Yutaka Uke could do shit all by his little self. The world gave two shits about him and they didn't like to see his "kind" freely parading around. They wanted to see people like Akira and Yurika, and Yutaka could just picture them together, conversing so happily, so naturally, looking so meant to be; like a fairy-tale. The problem here was that when he saw himself with Akira, to him, it looked just as beautiful, felt just as natural. But then again, he had to start with assuming that Akira was most likely not gay, and if he were to be presented to someone like Yurika, why would he ever want to pass up on that? Shaking his head, Yutaka bitterly smirked.
Cloud nine. What the fuck was that and how the fuck had he ended up there in the first place?
Why the hell had he allowed himself to get so elated? His life sucked by principle, how could he have forgotten so quickly? In two days of him being away from his reality, how could he have suddenly become so hopeful. Because of a smile? Gentle words? What exactly was he hanging on to? Why had he been so confident about this return to Sapporo? So confident to the point of having vehemently chewed-off that stupid red-head when he was being told that he was just trying to turn someone straight into gay, which wasn't ever the wisest of things.
He didn't know, and it mattered not anyways. Right now, he just wished he had the will to really just get up, be a true Japanese, and throw himself under a train, because being himself on this planet was rather tiring and more mortifying than gratifying. But … if doing as much ... would mean that he wouldn't have been able to see Akira again, which was currently even scarier than the prospect of death and that was how hopeless he was, how hopelessly in love he was.
Walking towards the PC, he turned it on, and waited to get on Skype in his usual invisible mode. Once inside he saw the notification signal blinking, and as he clicked on it, he saw Akira Suzuki's request. If he were to accept now, the blond would expect to have a conversation, obviously. But there was no way he was going to accept that now, because he knew that in the desperate way he felt, he was apt to say or do something he would regret.
Jack_&_CocK So is the prince still charming?
Jack_&_CocK BORING. (-O-" )
Jack_&_CocK How long are you going to ignore me for?!!!
Jack_&_CocK … S. Francis is boring as hell now that you are gone.
Jack_&_CocK I wish you were here, actually. Erase that. FUCK THAT.
You hate this place don't you. Well everyone does.
I, as usual, could give a FUCK (-_- ). I just want to be wherever
you are, that's all. I still do. You should too. There
really is no point in chasing dreams Yutaka. But if you
MUST, if your life MUST be a fairy tale, then just
let me be your prince. You know I can. You just have
to let go.
Jack_&_CocK I think I'll take a trip. S. Francis is REALLY boring now.
That fucking red-head. Why wouldn't he just leave him alone on that matter? Why did he even go and click on his notification anyways. He should have just let them pile up there. That idiot. But then again, who was the greater idiot for keeping him in his friends list? You just have to let go like people had fucking switches they could turn on and off as they pleased to decided whom to love.
Angrily groaning, he got up, dropped himself on his bed, closed his eyes, and reassessed the situation to see if it looked any better, now that he was laying down and that he couldn't see the world around himself. His sister was crushing on with the same person he was crushing on. He was already ditching the only person, he cared not to ditch. How was he going to face Akira tomorrow? He still had a penis. That last thought was way random, but in summary, his reality still sucked the same. Keeping his eyes closed tighter, he breathed out, and forced himself to sleep.
There might have been no point in chasing dreams, but dreaming felt good. It certainly beat playing with wrists and blades. Yeah.
@---,---'------☆~♥~☆------'---,---@
A big part of him wanted yesterday to have been just a big dream. A very realistic dream involving memories of a person he knew, cared about, and had forgotten, Akira truly wanted to walk up to Aoi and somehow have him say that Kai's return had been all a figment of his imagination, because apparently, he just didn't know how to deal with it. It was confusing, almost nerve-wracking, but weirdly exciting, and all a first, because he'd never felt this way before all at ones.
This storm of emotions was generated by realizing that he didn't know how to deal with having felt so disappointed at the fact that Kai hadn't showed up on Skype last night, or how to deal with presently feeling so stupid for having felt so disappointed, or even not knowing how to deal with not knowing why he felt so stupid for having felt so disappointed. Just confusing.
It wasn't even a big deal. Yet he was bothered by it. And it wasn't even the fact that Kai hadn't showed up in itself that truly bothered him, because Aoi was very apt to do as much, and he himself as well. It was quite possible that something could have happened, shit always happened. What seemed to be bothering him was the fact that he had actually really been looking forward to it, and he hadn't noticed that until he finally decided to give up and go to bed a good amount of hours later.
He couldn't remember whether or not his mother had greeted him this morning when he left the house, he'd completely forgot his canvas with the uncompleted drawing of the school he'd started yesterday, and he was a few steps away from missing his group, if Aoi hadn't yelled his name. All because his head was seemingly occupied by unexplainable thoughts regarding a particular brunette. Even that feeling that had been bothering him so much, the feeling of something missing, was entirely gone, to be more precise, there was currently absolutely no more "space" in him for any more feelings.
“Yo, you looked so lost ...” instantly observed Aoi, once the blond had joined him and the rest “... did you sleep well, you look kinda pale ...” kept adding Aoi, while Akira merely stayed silent as he nodded, and unknowingly looked around to search for something, or rather someone.
“What are you, his mother?” promptly observed Ruki, whom this morning was tightly wrapped around the arm of his boyfriend, a much taller honey-blond, now sophomore, named Kouyou, but whom Ruki called Uruha.
“Sorry didn't quite mean to overstep your role, I'll be more careful ...” cynically pointed out Aoi “... how the fuck do you even stand that thing?” he then inquired looking at an apologetically smiling Uruha “like, we know him, and know his a pain in the ass, but you know, like family, we won't drop his ass, but you could have dropped his ass long ago … instead … you guys are approaching a year, kudos to yo-” he was about to concluded, when he was sharply cut off by Omi whom powerfully slapped his arm.
“Who the fuck are you? Really! Mind your own!” she chided, making the brunette, glare at her, and get ready for a reproach when Uruha suddenly spoke.
“Please senpai do not fight over us ...” humbly spoke the honey-blond “... though I actually wouldn't even know how to answer that question” he then admitted with a sheepish smile.
“What do you mean you don't even know how to answer that question?!” indignantly retorted Ruki, ungracefully dropping the taller boy's arm, and beginning a vicious monologue-rant, with Uruha trying his humble best to pacify him, at the same time with Omi and Aoi still arguing on their side, while Akira, and Kazuki silently watched. It was quiet a troubling scenario to walk in on, but Akira knew quite well that in ten minutes at most both couples would have been making out like there was going to be no tomorrow.
Olivia?
Akira asked turning his cell at Kazuki, whom was apathetically standing between the quarreling couples. Kazuki shrugged, while shaking his head.
“I wish I knew as well” he calmly stated “She didn't come home last night. Our parents were shitting angry. It was quite the scenario ... but she does this from time to time, so I wouldn't be worried about it” he added, as Akira nodding at the weirdness of it all, and simply turned around to join the taller in absently observing their friends, though his eyes quickly shifted past them, and stuck at the entrance gate. Would wishing for Kai make the brunette suddenly walk through those gates? It was a stupid thought, but suddenly seeing the brunette doing as much, almost made the blond drop his cell-phone to the ground because of the shock incurred by such sight. Be careful what you wish for.
The brunette was side by side a girl with long wavy brown hair, and they were walking in their direction. Both his hands were deep in the pockets of his black coat, as he absently stared in front of himself, whereas the girl had her head lowered, and was walking quite close to Kai, as if scared of leaving his side. Kai was indeed a handsome boy, it made sense for him to have had a girlfriend, but such a fact had never even crossed Akira's mind at all. In fact, if he had to be honest with himself, at the moment, said sight, was bothering him; a whole lot.
On impulse, the blond tore his gaze away from the brunette and the girl to randomly take a quick glance at Aoi and Omi, whom were vigorously necking, just as he had predicted. In an almost restless manner, he then shifted his gaze to Uruha and Ruki, whom were going at it as well but in a less aggressive, more tender way, than the previous couple. So why was it that the sight of Kai and "this girl", whom had high chances of being his girlfriend, simply walking and keeping themselves to each other, was currently distressing him the way it was? What would happen if she suddenly held his hand, or even kiss him? Akira didn't know, but something told him he absolutely did not want witness that. Fuck. Why was it that Kai affected him the way he did? It was as if he awakened things in him he hadn't even known he had in the first place.
“Oh look who's here ...” grinned Aoi, as he unlocked his lips from Omi, as soon as Kai and the girl had arrived “... Yurika? Is that you?” exclaimed Aoi sounding quite surprised, as the girl nodded and shyly smiled, keeping her gaze to herself “Oh damn! I almost didn't recognize you with that hair color, and the bangs, and all … you look cute” he then stated, as the girl instantly blushed.
“Are you just going to let him flirt like that?” sarcastically pointed out Ruki, whom was in the process of creating a rated-R scene with Uruha, whom was gently trying to keep him from doing as much.
“Well I suppose you can't see her face too well … but that's Kai's sister, his twin sister” calmly replied Omi, at which Ruki suddenly stopped his perverted aggression and took a good look at the girl.
“Oh shit ...” bafflingly stated the dirty blond, still staring at the girl “... now that I think about it … the way she carry herself, she kinda reminds me of what Kai used to look like four years ago ...” teasingly observed Ruki, mischievously grinning at Kai, while newly wrapping himself all-over Uruha.
Twin sister. How the hell had he forgotten about something like that? True, he had never seen her before, but Aoi had mentioned Kai having a twin sister "I tell you, Yutaka is so girly they might as well just be identical twins, for real!". The incredible feeling of relief that washed over Akira at such information was quite sudden, but more than anything, it was worrying. Scary.
“So what brings you amongst us today? ...” nonchalantly inquired Omi.
“I … I have a big exam coming up in two months, for a certification in sign language ...” she lowly explained, as everyone simultaneously glimpsed at Akira, whom didn't exactly hate being the center of attention, but wasn't too comfortable with it either.
“I didn't know you knew sign language” promptly declared Aoi, glancing in Kai's direction, whom was still to spoke a single word ever since they had arrived. The younger brunette, merely stared in the general direction of nowhere, with his hands still deep into his pockets. Would wishing for Kai to look at him make him do as much? No luck this time, in fact, it might have been Akira's impression, but it did seem as if brunette was trying to avoid looking at him. Had he perhaps unknowingly done something to offend him yesterday ?
This felt very deja-vu.
“I began to teach myself three years ago, and just really got into it ...” Yurika modestly explained, she as well completely avoiding Akira, which the blond thought rather peculiar given as how she obviously had come there for him. But he supposed that this now made sense. Since Yurika did know sign language, there was no point for Kai to want to learn it from him. But was that all? Was he now absolutely of no value to the brunette anymore. Was Kai avoiding looking at him, because he just didn't know how to tell him that? “So I was wondering whether … maybe we could practice, if you could help get ready … for this exam ...” He needed to calm down. That thought made absolutely no sense. The of them spent an awesome afternoon, right before even bringing up the sign language topic “... Akira-senpai? ...” something else most have happened “A-akira-senpai? …” But what?!
“Oi Reita! Have you finally gone deaf too?!” bellowed Aoi, snapping the blond back to the present reality and away from his distressing thoughts. He supposed that's what Kazuki was trying to do by politely nudging him with his elbow “... she asked if you'd help her … what's wrong with you today … seriously ...” asked Aoi, looking somewhat concerned.
I will be glad to help you readily signed Akira smiling at the girl, whom instantly blushed.
Thank you so much shakily replied Yurika, offering a very cute and shy smile I do not want to be a bother to you, I was not sure if I should ask or not, but I am glad you accepted she then added, shaking much less, and Akira could tell that she was trying her best, which she actually didn't seem to need; she was really good at it.
You are really good, I am impressed complimented Akira, at which Yurika's face turned even redder.
“You just said I was a dick-head didn't you … I'll kill you Reita!” playfully threatened Aoi, at which the blond sarcastically nodded “... but no kidding girl, you're good … no wonder, we share the same blood” proudly state Aoi.
“I'm sure you meant big wonder we share the same blood” promptly observed Ruki.
“I agree” plainly stated Kazuki, in his cool stoicism.
“Fuck you, and you too Kazuki, not as much as Ruki, but yeah, fuck you! And you too Reita because sure like hell you were thinking the same!” retorted Aoi, hiding his head in the crook of Omi's shoulder in pretense offense, after Akira had plainly nodded in agreement with his supposition, while everyone, but Kai, laughed, which made Akira realize that a sight of a not-laughing Kai was also a sight he didn't like too much. In consequence, that thought made him realize that he did fancy the bruentte's smile. He fancied it a lot.
Any time convenient for you, to meet up?hesitantly inquired Yurika, as everyone else began talking about other topics.
Whenever it is most convenient to- Akira had resumed to sign, but instantly stopped, as he watched Kai merely walk away. Just like that, as if nobody would have noticed, and for the first time, in such a long time, he wished he had a voice. Because he wanted to have been the one to call out for him and asking him where was he going so suddenly, and without greeting, instead of Aoi.
“I remembered I had to check something real quick before classes, and I didn’t want to disturb you all ...” apologetically and swiftly stated Kai.
“The fuck is that supposed to mean?” skeptically replied Aoi “... like you'd ever be a bother, if that were to be the case, we should have kicked out Ruki looooong ago ...” observed Aoi, keeping a pretense serious expression, while receiving a very clear middle finger by the shorter dirty blond “... just saying, don't you ever think shit like that, okay?” genuinely stated Aoi, as Yutaka smiled in reply, nodding at everyone else, and began to walk away.
Wait! Don't go! About yesterday ...
Akira could have opened his mouth as loud as he could, but it would change nothing, those words would have never resounded. Kai. That simple word would have stopped the brunette, and that simple thing, he couldn't do. All he could do was stand there and watch as the brunette slowly walked away. If Aoi only knew how lucky he was to be able to always shout like that, he'd probably blabber less shit than he usually did. Wow. He hadn't meant to think that at all. He truly hadn't, not in the mean way he just thought it. Still, it didn't change the fact that he thought it, and most likely meant it for that second in which he said it, and that got him even more frustrated.
“Yu!” suddenly called Yurika, at which the brunette quickly stopped and merely looked back, bot his hands still in his pockets, making his school back awkwardly bend out on his side “I almost forgot ...” she mumbled, frantically looking for something in her purse, which she apparently couldn't find, making the brunette walk all the way back to the two of them.
Kai was now coming back to them. Great. Now what? Akira had really wanted to know what had happened yesterday, but he just couldn't bring it out randomly like that. They'd have to meet. Just the two of them, because he had a feeling that he'd avoid the subject if even just Aoi was present.. Then again, it could have been an excuse to just be alone with him, wasn't it? Whatever it was, he first needed to get them to be alone with each other. How?
“What?” hurriedly inquired the brunette, once he walked up by his sister's side, whom was still ravaging her purse.
“You were totally spacing out this morning ...” she calmly began to explain “... you forgot your keys, on the table … so I grabbed them and just threw them in my purse ...” concluded the girl, as Kai instantly began to search his pocket with a bit of stupor to the information.
Think, Akira, think! mentally kept screaming the blond, as he tightly held his cellphone in the pocket of his coat.
“I swear Yu, they are here somewhere ...” kept repeating the girl.
Think of something Akira, goddammit! frantically pondered the blond.
“I hadn't even noticed ...” sheepishly replied Kai, with an apologetic smile, which finally gave the blond an idea. Readily bringing out the calling device, he then swiftly typed something, and at the same time in which Yurika finally brought out the keys, he had the cell towards the brunette.
Faced with two objects in his direction, the brunette didn't even seemed to notice the keys, as his eyes instantly fell on the bright white screen of Akira's phone.
I need a subject for a drawing I need to turn in for a scholarship, would you please pose for me?
Blinking in seemingly silent stupor, Kai swiftly looked up from the screen to the blond as if he wasn't believing what he had just read.
“I, well, like, maybe … maybe, wouldn't Yurika be better for something like that, she is pretty, a girl, and all ...” awkwardly dismissed the brunette, suddenly staring in every direction but the elder's, whom resumed typing.
The theme is “Nostalgia”. I've just met Yurika so it wouldn't quite work for this piece
He quickly showed, apologetically nodding at Yurika, whom quickly shook her head in a shy no-offense-taken way, while Akira added a word more.
Please.
“Well, I guess … It would be rude to refuse … since a senpai is asking and all … so okay, I guess” hesitantly replied the brunette, quickly glimpsing at Yurika, as Akira resumed typing.
Aoi has band practice today, after class, if you are free want to meet? So that I can start, it would take me a while, and of course, we should also set a time so that I can help you with sign language
Concluded the blond and showed the both of them. Ideally, since he had already asked Kai for this afternoon, if Kai were to have accepted, Yurika would have chosen another day. She was already incredibly good at sign language anyways, so she definitely didn't need to worry about not starting immediately. But, for the health of his sanity, Kai needed to accept meeting with him this afternoon.
Glimpsing at his sister, Kai hesitated to answer, when Yurika spoke up.
“Well I can't this afternoon anyways, so I was thinking ... maybe ... tomorrow after school ...” humbly and shyly expressed the girl, as Akira genuinely smiled, and gave her a thumbs up, while internally rejoicing. Wasn't it great when things went one's way once in a while?! Now it all depended on Kai.
“Okay” finally spoke Kai “... this afternoon after school, it is okay” he lowly added glimpsing at the blond, whom was excitedly grinning, while typing.
Okay then, we'll meet like yesterday and go to my place. Aoi can join us later, after practice (^ ^” )
Showed the blond, and Kai nodded in agreement, and this time genuinely smiled. Indeed, Kai looked much better smiling, thought Akira as he smiled back.
“Didn’t you have to go check shit at the library or something?” nonchalantly questioned Aoi.
“Oh god shut the fuck up! You totally just ruined a moment, and you probably don't even know ...” snapped Ruki, to whom Aoi gave a particularly annoyed and clueless look.
“The fuck are you talking about? He said he needed to go to the library before, remember? He is just wasting time now, class is about to start!” retorted Aoi, at whom Ruki merely shook his head, while looking at him as if he were looking at "something" he couldn't believe was begin allowed to talk and walk.
“Well, yeah, Aoi is right” promptly intervened Kai “so I'll go, and … I guess I'll see you later, after school” the brunette then confirmed, as Akira promptly nodded and satisfyingly smiled “... thanks for the keys Yurika” he then added.
“No problem, I'll go too, have to meet up with the girls and stuff ...” vaguely dismissed the girl, deeply bowing at everyone, and rushing away.
After having watched his sister almost storm away, Kai newly smiled and nodded Akira, whom newly smiled and waved at him, this time composedly watching him walk away. And that was the way he felt it had to be. He still wasn't understanding the reason to his wanting to monopolize the brunette, but this was how it felt comfortable with him. Akira had to have the last look, the last smile, and though it would have been awesome if he could also have the last word, this was just fine; for now.
CHAPTER 4 - Nostalgia of the Heart Is? …
AN: Ever experienced IMMENSE HAPPINESS, to then be UNBELIEVABLY MISERABLE just the darned second later? (SO MANY TIMES). Obviously, and sometimes righteously, we depress about it, and one “bad” thing we do in moments like this is ASSUME. We assume so much. Though sometimes, we might just be right on point, most of the times we totally pissed out (pardon the french … ). Kai is totally on the mindset that Akira will completely fall for Yurika because of reasons that are in appearance not stupid at all. But Akira, as you all could see, could have cared less of the poor Yurika, because he was worried with thoughts of Kai. And isn't this how this world works? Now imagine each and every individual living on this planet, all of us with different mindset, all of us regularly ASSUMING SHIT (because we are all scared to just say things as they are) … is it a surprise that this world is as complicated as it is? (^ ^” ). Mmmmmm … LOL
ANYWAYS! See next chapter, and for those of you whom might have just started reading my things, and might have commented stories, I thank you and also wanted to tell you that I ALWAYS reply, it might take me QUITE SOME TIME because I am constantly busy m(_ _)m BUT replies will always arrive if you happen to comment. Also thank you to all the people that even just read, I am ASSUMING that there are people who read and not comment, and it is just fine do not get alarmed! I am not that THAT TYPE of writer at all I am just making sure to thank everyone! d(-_^ )
Gonna post this now, then catch the bus home now, and reply as soon as I get home m(_ _ )m
Much Love -LnK♥(~_^ )/-