Okay, upfront I admit that I have no idea what to say. I really do wish that I could say something that would make everything better, but I honestly have no idea what that would be, so pardon me if I just ramble around aimlessly, because I simply couldn't move past this without commenting, even if my commenting ends up not being very helpful.
Now granted I don't know what you look like (so I can't say whether or not I think you're physically pretty), but from knowing you online, I think you're a great person. And I would NOT call you selfish (or worse). Seriously, in my interactions with you I've never once thought bad things about you.
Also, I wouldn't worry about feeling selfish because I think that is something that all (yes all) of us feel from time to time.
So, even if this doesn't help, maybe just knowing someone is thinking good thoughts about you will.
*hugs* I know it's tough, but I think it's important to know that these kinds of feelings occur to other people a great deal too. :( I definitely have times where I hate my personality or I hate how I look, wish I was prettier, friendlier, more likeable, etc.
I try to feel better by spending time with my friends who remind me that I am likeable (because they certainly seem to like me for some reason, haha) and that I am a worthwhile human being to hang out with. I hope you have friends like these to spend time with. :(
I read this, and it's surprising how much most of your experience mirrors my own -- thinking I'm ugly and a boring person, getting insults over the color of my skin and being short, being rejected by guys, feeling inadequate next to prettier friends/family members. I'm 32 now, and I still have to work at liking myself, and I don't always succeed.
it doesn't help that in my parents' house, they call me "negra (nigger is another)" cause i'm not as fair as my siblings. and they call me "ugly" too.
This makes me really sad. I got dumped on outside the house but at least I didn't have to take it from my parents (some people do). Racism is bad enough, no one should have to take intraracism from anyone, especially not from their own families. And that's what it is -- racism. Sorry to talk bad about your family, but they are racist, and colorstruck, and WRONG. They're as wrong as two left shoes.
i feel like a self-righteous, selfish bitch who couldn't be happy for my friend.I don't think you are. It sounds like your friend got where
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Now granted I don't know what you look like (so I can't say whether or not I think you're physically pretty), but from knowing you online, I think you're a great person. And I would NOT call you selfish (or worse). Seriously, in my interactions with you I've never once thought bad things about you.
Also, I wouldn't worry about feeling selfish because I think that is something that all (yes all) of us feel from time to time.
So, even if this doesn't help, maybe just knowing someone is thinking good thoughts about you will.
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I try to feel better by spending time with my friends who remind me that I am likeable (because they certainly seem to like me for some reason, haha) and that I am a worthwhile human being to hang out with. I hope you have friends like these to spend time with. :(
Reply
it doesn't help that in my parents' house, they call me "negra (nigger is another)" cause i'm not as fair as my siblings. and they call me "ugly" too.
This makes me really sad. I got dumped on outside the house but at least I didn't have to take it from my parents (some people do). Racism is bad enough, no one should have to take intraracism from anyone, especially not from their own families. And that's what it is -- racism. Sorry to talk bad about your family, but they are racist, and colorstruck, and WRONG. They're as wrong as two left shoes.
i feel like a self-righteous, selfish bitch who couldn't be happy for my friend.I don't think you are. It sounds like your friend got where ( ... )
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