christmas eve day and i feel none of the holiday joy that should be coursing through me. instead, i feel numb. life has been good and happy for so long, that to feel this fog of darkness, once my constant companion, now a stranger, is devastating ( Read more... )

the glaring white box in front of me is daunting ( Read more... )

joe works weekends and nights again so alas, i am left alone alot again.

which may not be all that good a thing. too much time alone in my head is bad.

its saturday night and i am alone, in the dark, doing the same thing i did last night...nothing. i wish i was rich, then i could do alot more.

sigh.
i think i'm going to bed.

is pretty wonderful ( Read more... )

be righteous.

going to physical therapy now to help with my back. it still sucks. and hurts worse after therapy but that's to be expected ( Read more... )

i can feel myself slipping backwards down some muddy slope into a shit-filled pit of despair and i hate it ( Read more... )

tuesday morning a pretty new friend of mine called me at 7:47 am to ask me a question which i could not and would not help him with ( Read more... )

wasn't it just two or three days ago i went out in my (?sp)cordorouy spring jacket ( Read more... )

DisorderRatingParanoid Disorder:HighSchizoid Disorder:LowSchizotypal Disorder:HighAntisocial Disorder:LowBorderline Disorder:Very HighHistrionic Disorder:ModerateNarcissistic Disorder:ModerateAvoidant Disorder:Very HighDependent Disorder:HighObsessive-Compulsive Disorder:Moderate
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