Waiting (rewrite), Book 1, Chapter 2
After living through hell for months, Yamato is finally free from Ken and ready to move on with his life. But are things ever really that simple? Sequel to Untold Secrets. References to rape/sexual abuse and suicide. Some violence/swearing.
[Digimon] M, drama/hurt/comfort, 5352 (15994) words, published 07-09-11
UPDATE This chapter is the final version
previous chapter
Waiting
by: butterflie
chapter two, uncertainty
Book One
even hands that you've kept clean will appear dirty
before you have a chance to doubt your memory
your memory will doubt you
I'm certain we'll meet one another
our hearts which beat the same, will lead us
cause I'm right here, always calling out to you
when all the old reasons start to lose their ground
I'll know why I'm alive
- Bump of Chicken, karma.
"I've got a crush on you."
I stared at Taichi, my heart skipping a beat. "What?" I wasn't sure I'd heard him correctly.
He flushed deep, the tips of his ears even turning pink. "Don't make me say it again."
"So... you like guys?" I asked, my mind still trying to process the shock of him liking me. I also couldn't help but flashing back to when had admitted his crush for me, but I forcibly shoved that away as hard as I could. Taichi wasn't Ken, and I wanted to hear what he had to say.
He nodded somewhat jerkily. "Yeah."
"And... you like me?"
He nodded again, looking ashamed. "Please don't hate me!" he burst out. "I swear, I'm not trying to be like Ken or anything. I've liked you for six months, I was going to tell you but then you disappeared and I don't want you thinking you can't say no or that I'm just trying to take advantage of you or anything I'm so sorry-"
"Taichi," I said, interrupting his incessant babbling. "Shut up."
He did so immediately, blinking at me in surprise. "Huh?"
"Don't be an idiot. I don't hate you. I could never hate you."
"You don't?" he asked, looking hopeful.
"You're my best friend, of course not," I said simply.
"So... then...?"
I sighed, fiddling with the joystick on my abandoned controller. "Look, the truth is... I like you too. A lot. I have for ages now."
"Yeah?" He started to grin, looking even more hopeful. I felt like I was about to kick a puppy.
"But," I went on, hesitant, "I'm not sure. About a relationship. It's not that I don't want one, I just don't know if I'm ready for one. Even though Ken and I weren't ever in a relationship, the thought of being in one is scary. I'm messed up pretty bad right now," I admitted, swallowing hard. "And a relationship, well..." I shrugged helplessly, not entirely sure how to word what I was feeling.
"It's alright," he said immediately. "If you're not ready, that's okay. I can understand that. I'll wait," he said, a look of determination coming over his face. "I'll wait, for however long it takes. It doesn't matter to me. Just knowing that you even like me back is enough right now, it's more than I ever expected."
I could feel myself starting to tear up ever so slightly at that. It was so different from the way Ken had been when I'd rejected him. It made me feel even safer with Taichi, and I was already sort of regretting telling him no. I didn't know what I'd done to deserve such a great friend, but I was truly glad to have him.
* * *
"Well, well. Mr. Ishida. What a surprise to see you here. What has it been, a month now? I was beginning to think you were never coming back."
I suppressed a sigh. "Yes Sensei," I said demurely, nodding at him. Why had I let Dad talk me into coming back? I knew Monday was too soon. I was not in the mood to deal with this.
"And just what fuelled this sudden desire to show up again? I know it can't be your love of learning, you've never given a day of attention to this class. Where have you been all this time?"
I stared at Kawada Sensei, my heart starting to pound anxiously. What was his problem? Sure I'd never been his favourite student, but he'd never outright antagonised me like this before. He had to have known where I'd been, unless he lived under a rock. "You must have seen the news," I mumbled at him.
"What was that, Mr. Ishida? Please speak up, we can hardly hear you," he said, gesturing to the class.
"The news!" I half-shouted at him, feeling my cheeks starting to warm in humiliation. I took a deep breath, trying to keep myself calm.
"Ah yes, the news. So you were too busy with your little relationship to bother with school, is that it?"
"What?" I gaped at him. Students falling for the rumours, I could understand, but a teacher? "It wasn't a relationship," I snapped, angry and hurt all of a sudden. Even if he didn't believe the truth, he shouldn't have been hassling me this way. After all, he was a teacher, that had to be against the rules. Right?
"No? It was my understanding that he was screwing you. Isn't copious amounts of sex the definition of a teenage relationship?" He turned to face the class, who had remained completely silent all this time, half of them watching in disbelief. "Am I wrong?" he asked them, and a couple of them actually shook their heads. I knew none of them were going to speak up on my behalf, even though I'd been friendly with some of them before.
I felt tears pricking at my eyes as I stood there, and blinked them back. I would not give him the satisfaction of crying in front of everyone, no matter how much his words upset me.
Kawada Sensei turned back towards me, his eyes dark with malice. "Take your seat, Mr. Ishida," he said coldly. "I want you in this class every day from now on unless you have a documented medical illness to be absent."
I nodded and hurriedly took my seat, not even trusting myself to speak at that point. I knew that the second I opened my mouth, I'd start bawling and probably not be able to stop. I could only hope this class would pass quickly.
* * *
"Yama!" Kenji yelled happily when I walked into music room 3 that afternoon, immediately flinging himself at me. I deftly stepped out of the way just in time and didn't even feel guilty when he went crashing to the floor. He jumped up, brushing himself off calmly and looking unperturbed. "Why did you do that? I've missed you!"
"Don't even call me that," I told him. "And you saw me at lunch last week. And in third period today."
"That doesn't count," he pouted. "I didn't get to talk to you."
I felt a pang of guilt at that, knowing that for all his posturing, Kenji really had missed me. They all had; after all, I hadn't seen them in a month. My dad had blocked them the same way he'd blocked Taichi and my other friends. Even Takeru hadn't been able to see me, though it had taken a lot of begging to convince Dad to not let Takeru know what had been going on with me. Neither Takeru or Natsuko had known a thing until that news report, and then Natsuko had called not longer after Taichi and Dad had told her everything... "I'm sorry," I said quietly, suddenly serious. I looked around at my bandmates. "I've missed you guys too."
Ny smiled at me, sitting down on the piano bench. "Well, you're back now. That's all that matters."
I sighed, going over and sitting down next to him. "I suppose you guys want to know about what happened."
Ratsuii came over as well, sandwiching me between him and Ny. I wondered that the proximity didn't make me tense or scared, but then I'd known Ny and Ratz a long time, and felt as safe around them as I did around Taichi. "You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to," he told me, giving my shoulder a friendly nudge. "It's your own business, we'd understand."
I gave him an odd, awkward sort of half-smile. "It's not my favourite thing to talk about, and I wouldn't go around telling everybody, but I don't mind telling you guys a little bit of it. That is, if you guys even want to hear it," I added.
"Yamato, come on. How long have we known each other? After five years, you should know we're always willing to listen," Ny said. I could hear the sincerity in his voice and felt touched. Ny didn't let most people get close to him. He was nice to everyone, and liked to make people happy, but he kept most things on the surface. He was more trusting with us, especially with how long we'd been together and how close we'd all gotten, but even then, he didn't express it out loud very often. To hear it now was heartwarming.
"Yeah," I said softly. "Thanks." I paused for a bit, trying to gather my thoughts and figure out just what I wanted to tell them, and how to go about it. The band stayed quiet, not pushing, giving me the time to think. I was grateful for it. Though we'd grown close pretty quick, we all had our own secrets still, but anytime one of us needed to talk, the rest of us would be right there to listen and support. It was an amazing group to be a part of.
After a few minutes, I felt ready, and started to speak. They were silent as I talked, telling them of how it started and how it continued. I told them how I'd been too scared to tell after awhile, how Ken had threatened my life and how I was too afraid not to believe them. I told them how it ended.
I didn't tell them how I'd tried to kill myself. It was too personal, too raw, and I'd never even managed the actual words when telling Taichi. I didn't want to show them my bandage on the one wrist, I was too ashamed of it to even look at it most of the time.
When I finally finished my story they were still quiet, I suppose just trying to take it all in. Finally Ny left out a slow breath. "Man, Yamato... that is rough. Beyond rough. I don't even really know what to say, except that I'm sorry you had to go through all that."
"I agree, that's horrible. You didn't deserve something like that," Ratsuii said sympathetically.
"Thanks, you guys."
"Aw, this is such a touching moment!" Kenji exclaimed, pretending to wipe away a tear. "So sweet."
The rest of us just rolled our eyes, well used to his antics. It may have seemed inappropriate to others, but we knew it was just Kenji's way. Emotions often made him uncomfortable, but he was always there for us and still knew how to be serious when it really counted, and that's all we really cared about.
"So what's up with you and Taichi?" Ratsuii asked, mercifully changing the subject.
I frowned, watching Ny as he swung around to face the piano. He started to play the chorus to one of our songs, seemingly completely involved in it, but I could tell he was interested in the answer too. "What do you mean?" I asked Ratz.
"Seriously, you two were all over each other," Kenji said, grinning as he came over to the piano and plucked out random notes, purposely messing Ny up. Ny growled at him and swatted his hand away.
"Wh-what?" I stammered, taken by surprise. "No I wasn't!"
"Someone's got himself a boyfriend~!" Kenji sing-songed, still grinning maniacally at me.
"I do not!" I protested hotly, beginning to blush.
"Yes you do, you're blushing!" Ratsuii was grinning at me too. I was starting to feel ganged up on. "So come on, details, details! Who told who? I've got money riding on this."
"Money?" I spluttered. "You guys are betting on me?!"
"Maybe a little," Ratsuii admitted.
"Come on guys," Ny finally cut in, abandoning his song. "Leave him alone. If he doesn't want to tell us, he doesn't have to."
"Thank you," I said fervently. "Besides, we're really not together." Yet, I amended silently, blushing a bit more.
Ratsuii gave my shoulder another friendly nudge. "So you're not together," he said. "But I'm guessing something must have happened between you two."
"Maybe," I muttered, a bit embarrassed.
Ny turned partially back around, sitting cross-legged on the bench so that he was facing me, and gave me his full attention. "So what happened?" he asked, his violet eyes observing me intently.
I frowned, wondering why he seemed so invested in the answer. "Well, he came round Saturday night and told me he liked me..."
"But you're not together. You turned him down?" Ny asked in disbelief. "You told me ages ago you liked him!"
"I didn't turn him down, exactly," I said defensively. Next to me, Ratsuii was groaning and handing over a handful of yen to a gloating Kenji. I ignored them both. "I did tell him I liked him back. I just said that I wasn't ready for a relationship yet."
"Why?" Kenji asked incredulously, poking Ny and holding out his hand. Ny sighed and rolled his eyes, digging around in his pocket and pulling out his own handful of yen. I shook my head at them as he handed it over.
"Can't believe you guys actually bet on me," I muttered.
Ny shrugged it aside. "Seriously, why aren't you ready for a relationship yet? If you like him and he likes you..."
I swallowed and looked down at the floor. "I guess... well, I'm a little scared. I know logically that Taichi wouldn't hurt me like Ken did, but emotionally..."
"I can understand that," Ny said softly. "Is he willing to wait, at least?"
"Yeah. He said he'd wait for as long as it takes."
"That's good. You deserve some happiness. I don't want to see you hurt anymore."
"Geeze Ny," Kenji griped. "Are you sure you're not the one with the crush?"
I laughed a little at that, fully expecting some biting retort from Ny, but instead he looked away and muttered, "Shut up," his face turning a bright red.
My mouth reacted before my mind did. "Seriously?!" I swung sideways, staring at him. "You like me, Ny?"
"What, is that so wrong?" he snapped angrily, sliding off the bench and standing up. He stalked out of the room, slamming the door behind him.
"Good going, Yama," Kenji remarked glibly after a moment's silence.
"Me? You're the one that had to tease him!"
"You're the one that made it sound like he wasn't allowed to like you!"
"Oh shut up, both of you!" Ratsuii snarled, his normally bright green eyes dark with anger and annoyance. "You're both at fault, you idiots. Kenji, you can apologise later. Yamato, I think you need to go find him and talk to him."
I sighed. I had acted a little insensitive. "I suppose you're right,” I said, feeling a bit sheepish. “I'll go find him, and hopefully be back with him soon."
I got up and headed over to the door, looking back at them. Kenji at least looked as remorseful as I felt. Ratsuii's face, however, was an inscrutable mask. "Try to be nicer this time," he said.
I made a rueful face. "Yeah."
* * *
"Ny?" I said cautiously, peeking my head into the old gym. "You in here?"
I didn't get an answer, but I was pretty sure he was here. My bandmates and I had been coming here since nearly the first day of high school. Ny even had a favourite spot under the bleachers he liked to hide in.
I went over to that spot, and as I'd thought, Ny was there. He had his knees drawn up against his chest, and his head was buried in them. I had the feeling he was crying. He didn't acknowledge my footsteps.
"Ny?" I asked again, standing uncomfortably over him. I got no answer, so after a moment I sat down next to him, inwardly sighing. "Ny?" I tried one last time, a hint of pleading entering my voice.
"What?" came the muffled reply. At least he'd finally answered me.
I sighed, out loud this time. "Look, I'm sorry about how I reacted back there. I was just surprised. I didn't mean anything by it. Please don't be mad at me," I begged him. "I really am sorry."
He lifted his head then, and though he wasn't crying at the moment, I could tell by the traces of wetness that he had at some point. He didn't say anything to me, just nodded and stared off across the gym.
"Have you liked me a long time?" I asked hesitantly, wanting to get him to talk.
He just shrugged.
"Are you mad at me?"
He shook his head. I felt a little relieved at that, but still wished he'd talk to me.
I tried again. "Why didn't you ever say anything?"
It was a dumb question, and I wanted to take it back as soon as I said it. But to my surprise, he actually answered it.
"I wanted to," he said quietly, still not looking at me. "But then you told me you liked Taichi, and all of us knew that he liked you, it was so obvious I don't know how you never saw it. I knew it was only a matter of time before one of you said something to the other. So I didn't really see the point in my telling you. Why open myself up to rejection?
"And it was easier to pretend when you didn't know," he continued. "I could pretend that maybe you didn't like Taichi at all, that maybe I still had a chance. I knew that if I told you I'd have to face the truth, would have to admit to myself that there was no chance, that you didn't and never would feel that way about me."
I swallowed, feeling inexplicably guilty. "Ny, I'm sorry-"
"Don't," he interrupted, finally glancing at me. "Don't say it. I know, okay? I'm okay with just your friendship. But if you say it, it'll just make it worse."
I bit down on my lip, feeling bad. I didn't like hurting him, but he was right in that there'd never be anything more than friendship between us. "Alright," I agreed. "I won't say it."
"Thanks," he said quietly.
"Can I at least ask how long?"
He sighed. "Do you remember how we met?"
I furrowed my brow in confusion. "Of course. We were twelve, and had classrooms next to each other. I lost my song notebook one day, and you found it and asked around so you could return it to me."
"I know I said I didn't, but I read your lyrics," he confessed. "All of them. I really liked them, which is why I was so determined to find and meet you. Then I actually saw you. I've had a crush on you ever since."
Wow. He'd had a crush on me for five years, and I'd never once realised? I could probably win some kind of award for that. "I'm sorry," I told him helplessly, not sure what else to say.
"It's alright," he muttered, and we then sat in silence for awhile.
* * *
"There you are," Kenji remarked when Ny and I walked back into music room 3 a short while later. "We were beginning to wonder."
Ny just shrugged at him, not saying anything.
"Everything cool now?" Ratsuii asked tentatively.
"Yeah, we're good," I said. I started to head back over to the piano bench to sit down again, when a pounding started up on the door I'd shut behind us.
Ny, who was still standing closest to it, went back over and yanked it open. "What?" he asked, sounding slightly irritated.
"Is Ishida Yamato in here?" a young, somewhat high-pitched voice asked. I looked over. A boy who looked to be about Takeru's age was standing in the doorway, looking a bit uncomfortable. Probably not a fan then.
"Yes, what is it?" I asked, stepping back towards him.
He glanced briefly at me, then down at the ground. "Well, it's about your brother," he started.
Immediately I thrust out a hand and grabbed a fistful of his shirt, yanking him into the room and shoving him into one of the nearby chairs. "What about him?" I barked out, knowing it couldn't be anything good.
His blue eyes widened, and he stared at me, frightened. "He's locked himself in a bathroom stall on the second floor. He sounded like he was crying, but he wouldn't say anything. He's a classmate of mine, so-"
"Don't care," I snapped, interrupting him. "Which bathroom?"
"The one by Room 223," he stuttered out.
"Thanks," I muttered, already turning away from him and sprinting out the door and up the stairs to where Takeru was.
I found the bathroom easily and went in, hearing Takeru's quiet sobs right away. I went over to the closed stall door and leaned against it. "Takeru?" I said quietly. "It's Yamato. Will you open the door, please?"
"Yamato?" came the sniffled reply. There was a moment's pause, then I straightened up just in time as I heard him unlock the door and it opened.
"Aw, Takeru," I said, looking at him as he stepped out. He looked a mess, his face all red and splotchy and his eyes still leaking a few tears. His nose was running and rubbed a bit raw, presumably from where he'd been continuously wiping it.
I sighed and put an arm around his shoulders. "Come on," I said gently. I led him over to the sink and helped him get cleaned up a bit. When he seemed relatively calm, I asked him what happened.
He shook his head a bit. "Daisuke," he said, but didn't get any farther as he started to cry again.
I pulled him into a hug, my heart aching for him. "Hey, don't cry," I told him. "What about Daisuke?"
He didn't answer me, just wrapped his arms around me and dug his hands into the back of my shirt.
I heard the door open and tensed, ready to yell at whoever it was to go away, but when I glanced over Takeru's shoulder I realised it was just Nyusumi.
His eyes widened a bit when he saw Takeru crying into my chest. "Everything okay?" he asked hesitantly.
I shrugged as best I could in my position. "It's something to do with Daisuke," I said helplessly.
Instantly an understanding look came over Ny's face. He came over to us, briefly laying a hand on Takeru's shoulder. "Takeru," he said softly. "Did you tell him?"
I felt Takeru nod into my shirt. "Yeah," he said, voice muffled.
"Tell him what?" I asked, irrationally jealous that Ny seemed to know more about my brother than I did.
They both ignored me. "I take it things didn't go so well then?" Ny asked.
Takeru didn't respond to that, just started crying harder.
I shot Ny a look, my eyes sarcastically saying thanks. "I think we need to go home," I said after a moment, when it didn't seem like Takeru would calm any.
"Of course," Ny said. "I'll let the others know."
"Thanks. Sorry for running out on you guys."
"Hey, it's fine," he reassured me. "I think it's nice how protective you are of Takeru."
"Left over from the Digital World days," I muttered, untangling myself from my brother.
"Digital World?"
I paused. "Uh, remind me to tell you some other time. It's a long story."
Ny looked confused, but chose not to comment. "Can I call you later?" he asked instead.
I smiled at him. "Of course."
* * *
When we got to my apartment, Takeru had calmed down a lot. I settled him on the couch and got him something to drink before sitting down next to him. I didn't say anything at first, wanting to give him more time to collect himself so I'd be less likely to set off another crying fit.
"So what happened with Daisuke?" I eventually ventured, when it seemed safe enough to do so.
Takeru bowed his head, intently studying his hands, pretending to inspect his fingernails for dirt. "I... I kinda like Daisuke," he admitted, sounding a bit embarrassed. "I told him earlier, after classes were over. He... didn't take it too well. I'm not sure we're even friends now."
I blinked, a bit taken back. "I'm sorry, Takeru," I said sympathetically. "I'm sure he was just surprised, though. I bet if you just give him some time, he'll come around."
He sniffed once. "He seemed pretty freaked out."
"Just give him a couple of days to adjust. I'm sure everything will work out okay."
He didn't bother to respond to that. I stayed quiet too, doing a little private adjusting of my own. Obviously I didn't have a problem with Takeru liking Daisuke, otherwise I'd be a huge hypocrite, but I was a little surprised I had never known about it. I wasn't as involved in Takeru's life as I would have liked, but I was pretty sure he'd had girlfriends before. Apparently they were just a cover up? Or maybe he swung both ways.
"Are you gay?" I asked him abruptly.
He lifted his head, blinking at me. I supposed I could have asked it a bit better. He didn't answer me though, and after a moment I raised an eyebrow, as if to say, "Well?"
He sighed. "No." A pause. "Yes." Another sigh.
Well that certainly answered that...
He gave a little half-shrug, looking at me sheepishly. "I don't know. Can you be gay for just one guy?"
"I... guess?" I said uncertainly.
He picked up a couch pillow, hugging it to his chest. "It's not guys, it's just Daisuke. I look at other guys and I feel nothing, but I look at Daisuke and I go all funny inside. I see him and my heart starts pounding and I feel all giddy, and I can't stop thinking about attractive he is. When a group of us goes out to the movies, I'm always secretly wishing it was just me and Daisuke alone. I think girls are cute too, sometimes, but I tried dating a couple and we always wound up deciding to be just friends instead." Takeru paused, looking back up at me. "Is that okay, do you think, to like just one guy?"
I reached out for him, grabbing the hand that was worrying at some loose threads on the pillow. It was a little awkward, as mine was the hand that still had the cast on, but I managed. "I think it's fine," I told him seriously, locking eyes with him. "You're still young, Takeru, and still figuring out what you want. There's no need to stick a label on yourself until you're ready to. Hell, you don't ever have to stick a label on if you don't want to."
Takeru exhaled, curling his fingers around my hand. He scooted closer to me, pressing himself into my side. "It's all so confusing."
I laughed gently at that. "Trust me, I know all about that."
"What was it like for you? Did you just always know that you were gay?"
I laughed again, ruefully this time. "Not hardly. I was probably around eleven, twelve-it was right after all the Digital World stuff the first time. My classmates and I were all hitting puberty and hormones were crazy. All the guys around me suddenly kept talking about girls-about breasts and curves and cute asses, and all I could think about was broad shoulders and smooth chests. I'd catch myself staring at some of the guys in my class sometimes, thinking about how cute they were or what it'd be like to kiss them. I never said anything. No one else seemed to have this problem.
"I was-terrified, really. I thought maybe there was something wrong with me. I'd wake up in the morning after wet dreams about guys and cry. I didn't dare tell anyone, thinking that they'd hate me or find me disgusting."
Takeru tightened his hold on my hand. "How'd you come to accept it then?"
I shrugged. "I met Ny."
"Huh?"
"Just what I said. I met Ny. We were twelve, nearly thirteen. He was gay and he didn't hide it. He seemed very comfortable with it, even when others around him didn't. He helped me to accept my sexuality and made me realise there was nothing wrong with it. I still don't go around broadcasting it now, but that's as much to do with the band's fangirls as it is being afraid of what people will think."
"But you're still afraid."
"Well sure, a little," I admitted easily. "Not so much of what strangers might think, but the people I care about, yeah. Though I guess at this point it's mostly just Dad and a couple of the older Chosen who don't know. You younger Chosen gossip too much."
"Are you going to tell Dad?" Takeru asked, brushing aside my teasing remark.
"Probably. When I feel like it's the right time to."
"I haven't told Mom," he confessed.
"There's really no rush, Takeru, especially when you haven't even sorted it out for yourself. Don't worry so much over it. Trust me, I did that and I was miserable."
"Alright," he said softly. "Thanks."
* * *
"Yamato?"
I jerked my head up, pulled from the half-asleep state I'd slipped into. I'd come on the balcony outside my window earlier, thinking about Ny's crush on me.
I got up and went inside, going out into the hall where my dad was waiting for me. I was careful to shut my bedroom door quietly. Takeru had been exhausted from all of his crying that afternoon, and was taking a nap on my bed. "What's up, Dad?"
"Natsuko just called. She said Takeru's not home and didn't leave a note or call about his whereabouts. She wanted to know if you'd seen him."
I winced, thinking about the late evening. Takeru had been here all afternoon without anyone knowing. I should have remembered to have him call Natsuko, but he'd been so distraught it slipped my mind. "Sorry, dad," I said sheepishly. "He's here. He came round after school. He's napping in my room right now, he was a little upset about something earlier."
I turned around and opened my bedroom door, intending to wake Takeru so he could call Natsuko. But then I spotted him sprawled out on my bed, and suddenly I was thrown into the past, reliving a nightmare I'd thought was finally over.
It wasn't Takeru on my bed any longer. Instead it was Ken, once again lounging casually on my bed like he owned it. And he was smirking at me.
"No," I whispered, staring in terror at my bed.
"Yamato?" Dad asked behind me, sounding concerned. "Are you alright?"
I didn't answer him. I barely heard him.
Ken was moving now, getting up off the bed, advancing toward me, a knife in his hand.
"No," I moaned, stumbling backwards. "No, please! Not again." I whirled around to run, but had only gone a few steps when I crashed into something warm and solid. Whatever it was grabbed me, holding me tight, and I screamed, lashing out blindly.
"Let me go!" I cried. "No! Let me go, he's coming, he's got a knife, he'll stab me, please!" I struggled wildly, not hearing anything around me. I was panicked and terrified out of my mind, knowing that Ken was behind me and he was going to get me, and stab me, and this time he wouldn't let me live.
I struggled harder, still screaming and pleading to be let go. I was starting to find it hard to breathe, and my heart was pounding like crazy. It wasn't unlike the feelings I'd had after being jumped by Kento's gang, but I was too out of it to really make the connection.
I wanted Taichi. I knew that if only he were there, he would save me from Ken, protect me from getting hurt, the way he'd protected me from Sento and Tetsuya. "Taichi," I managed to choke out. "Let go, gotta find Taichi, he's safe."
"Please..."
chapter two end. (09 july 2011 0729PM)
soundtrack for chapter two:
darren hayes - creepin' up on you
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