Waiting (rewrite), Book 1, Chapter 4 (1/2)

[lunaticxpandora]

After living through hell for months, Yamato is finally free from Ken and ready to move on with his life. But are things ever really that simple? Sequel to Untold Secrets. References to rape/sexual abuse and suicide. Some violence/swearing.
[Digimon] M, drama/hurt/comfort, 17532 (42942) words, published 09-02-12
UPDATE This chapter is the final version
previous chapter
Waiting
by: butterflie
chapter four, endings and beginnings
Book One
though you feel like cracking, everything's clear
you waited yesterday without sleep
the miracle you were dreaming of won't come any more
but the far sky will lead you there
- L'Arc~en~Ciel, neo universe.

I stood there frozen after Taichi retreated, unsure of what to do and completely humiliated. I wanted to scream, to cry, to rewind time and make it so the last few minutes didn't happen. School wasn't even out yet, what were they doing at my apartment already? And for that matter, why had Taichi brought Ny?

I'd never intended for Nyusumi to know. I'd never intended for anyone other than my dad and Taichi to know what I'd tried to do to myself. Possibly Natsuko knew, from when Dad had talked to her on the phone after the news report, but I certainly hadn't told her myself. Even Takeru still didn't know this tidbit.

But now Nyusumi knew, and there was no getting around it. Taichi was right, we needed to talk about it. I didn't want to have it sitting between us, or for Ny to think that I still felt that way about myself.

I sighed, and walked over to my bed, sitting down on the edge. After a hesitant moment I gestured for Ny to join me, but he just continued to stare at me, glancing down at my wrists uncertainly. I winced, feeling ashamed, but soldiered on. "Please," I said quietly to him.

After another long moment of uncomfortable staring and silence, Ny finally started to slowly approach me, eventually sitting down gingerly, though he remained tense and stiff next to me. I picked up my pillow and hugged it to my chest, using it as a convenient way to hide my wrists, the shirt not feeling like enough coverage, though I did also find it comforting to have something to hold onto.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you guys," I said, pulling at a loose thread on the corner of my pillow. I couldn't bring myself to really look at Ny yet, I was still too embarrassed and hurt by his reaction. "I just wasn't really ready." I paused. "I guess that's not exactly true. I wasn't planning on ever telling you guys."

"When?"

"A little over a month ago," I admitted. "That first day I didn't show up at school for those two weeks before the news broke? I did it that night before." I swallowed. I still had a hard time thinking about that night, and the events that had precipitated my attempt on my life. That had been one of the worst nights of my life, worse even than when I'd been stabbed. Mostly I just tried to avoid thinking about it at all.

"It's... I don't feel that way any more," I attempted to clarify for him. "I mean, obviously I'm not doing great right now, but... it was stupid. I don't want to die. I'm glad I didn't. At the time, everything was just so awful, I felt trapped and didn't know what else to do. It was a mistake, Ny, and one that's not going to repeat. Okay?"

"It scares me," Ny said softly. "Even if you say you don't want to die now, at some point you must have, to have done that. It's just scary, to know that things were so bad for you that you didn't see any way out other than hurting yourself."

"I know," I said, pulling harder at that thread. It was easier to focus on that than on the conversation taking place. I really didn't want to be sitting next to Ny, talking about this. "I know it's scary. Hell, it still scares me sometimes, when I look at myself and realise just what I could have done."

He sighed, quiet for a moment, before swallowing audibly and speaking once more. "You aren't the first person I know to do that to yourself," he admitted. "I had to be the one to find them, and to see in their eyes for months afterwards that they wanted to try again... Knowing you did it once, even if you say you won't, you might try again, and what if you succeed?"

I closed my eyes, a lump of guilt lodging in my throat. I hadn't known that about Ny, and he didn't have to say a name for me to make a good guess at who he'd found after a suicide attempt. She was always wearing some sort of wristbands or bracelets, and I knew there'd been some sort of trauma once. Not to mention I'd seen plenty of times how deeply he cared for her. It made me feel even more ashamed, to know that I was causing him that kind of pain all over again. I opened my eyes and glanced up at him briefly before looking back to the blankets, unable to hold his gaze. "I won't," I said, not sure how to reassure him. "Honestly, it was the worst pain I'd ever felt in my life, and I never want to experience it again. I'm not going to try again, no matter how bad things get."

He let out a shuddery breath, and out of the corner of my eye I saw him slump down as some of the tension finally left him. "I hope you don't. I'm really glad you didn't succeed. I don't think I could ever go through something like that again. And I don't know what I'd do if you weren't here anymore," he said. "I don't ever want you to leave me. I'd be way too lost without you."

I lifted my head then, finally abandoning my pillow and looking at him. He was looking intently at me, his face very solemn. I suddenly felt rather unnerved. That had almost sounded like a twisted declaration of love.

"I'm glad too," I said faintly, inanely, suddenly feeling unable to take my eyes off him. What was going on here? Ny was looking at me so serious, something I'd rarely seen on him. And was it my imagination, or was he slowly leaning in towards me?

The world suddenly felt muted, all the sounds faraway, the colours dulled. It was as if Ny and I were the only two people in the world, and nothing else mattered. Instinctively, I sensed what Ny was going to do seconds before he actually did it.

I started to pull away, tried to speak-but then warm lips were pressing softly against my own, and Ny was kissing me.

I sat there frozen, too shocked to move, to do anything, to even think-

And then it hit me then, with sudden clarity, Ny was kissing me, and I had just gotten together with Taichi, and I didn't even like Ny that way-

I jerked away.

Ny blinked, as if snapping out of some weird trance, and immediately started apologising, looking both guilty and contrite. "Oh man, Yamato, I'm so sorry. I don't know why I just did that," he said, and for one horrible moment I was reminded of another time, another apology from another person, but I knew I couldn't afford to have a panic attack, so I roughly yanked my mind back to the present, forcibly trying to shove the memories away.

Ny was still babbling apologies at me, looking anxious and horrified. I gave him a jerky sort of nod, trying to indicate it was fine, but I was still too shocked to really speak and reassure him, and I was still desperately trying to keep the bad memories from assaulting me.

As fate would have it, there was a knock on my door then, and Taichi's voice was calling in to us, saving us from having another awkward discussion.

Ny cut off his sorries, giving me an ashamed look, and then told Taichi to come in.

Taichi opened the door and walked in, stopping near the entrance, eyebrows raised. "Just wondering if you guys were okay in here," he said.

"We're fine," Ny said.

I didn't say anything, which didn't go unnoticed by Taichi.

After a moment Ny stood. "I really ought to be going," he said. "I've got a date with Tora in a few hours."

"Tora?" Taichi asked, frowning, probably trying to place him. He wasn't always great with names and faces.

Ny nodded, studiously avoiding looking at me. "Yeah. You've probably seen him around. Short, green eyes, dyed his hair white and red and claimed to support Japan with it."

"Ah," Taichi said knowingly. "Flag hair. I didn't know he was gay."

I let out a small snort, amused at Taichi's simple descriptor for Tora.

Ny shrugged. "Yeah, well, I probably shouldn't have mentioned it, I don't think he's really out yet. So don't spread it around." He glanced at me, at last. "I'm glad you're okay, Yamato. I'll see you guys later, okay?"

I waved a hand in goodbye as he left. Dealt with one awkward thing and another popped up in its place...

Taichi came all the way into the room, sitting down next to me, taking Ny's place. "Are things really alright between you two? You get it all sorted?"

I didn't dare tell him about the kiss. The last thing I wanted was Taichi mad at Ny, especially since Ny had apologised for it. "Yeah, I think so," I told him, mustering up a smile.

Taichi smiled back at me. "Okay," he said. His face turned serious for a moment. "I'm sorry I brought Ny in without warning like that."

I bit my lip, half-smiling wryly at him. "Well, it's not like you could have known I had my cast and bandages removed this morning. And I did have my door open..."

"So you're not mad then?" he asked, sounding a bit anxious. "I know you didn't want anyone else knowing. I feel really bad about it."

"I'm not exactly thrilled that he knows, but I know you didn't do it on purpose. Don't worry about it, okay Taichi?"

"Okay," he said, clearly relieved. "Now tell me about this concussion thing."

I groaned. Today was just a day for conversations I didn't want to have. I rubbed the back of my neck, feeling a bit stupid about it all. "Well, I had a nightmare early this morning," I began. "And my dad came in to try and wake me, because according to him I was screaming and thrashing around in my sleep."

Taichi winced at that, but didn't say anything other than, "Go on."

"Um... I woke up. And I saw my dad I guess, only it was dark and I was confused, still half in the nightmare. I... I thought it was Ken," I confessed lowly, my face turning a bit red. Why had I promised to tell Taichi about this? Or at least, why hadn't I just made something up? Everyone lied in relationships, right?

"I sort of panicked a bit," I continued. "I tried to jump up out of my bed, to get away from Ken, but I got tangled up in the bedsheets." My face was really heating up. I still couldn't believe how badly I'd reacted this morning. I wished the stupid nightmares would leave me alone.

"So... the bedsheets gave you a concussion?" Taichi asked, sounding understandably confused.

I rolled my eyes, grabbing my pillow and whacking him lightly in the arm with it. "No, don't be stupid," I said. "I got tangled in them, and because I was trying to get out of the bed at the same time, I fell. I hit my head on the side of the bed frame pretty hard and it gave me a concussion. On the plus side, it did jar me right out of my nightmare..."

He laughed a bit at that, and I supposed it was kind of funny in retrospect, though it hadn't been at all this morning. This morning it had just been terrifying and then annoying. "Sorry," he said then. "I know it couldn't really have been all that funny, just the way you said it..."

"It's alright," I reassured him. "It does sound a little funny now."

"So did you have to go to the hospital?"

"Uh-huh. Dad took me to the ER. They said it was just a mild concussion, so they let me go back home to sleep. Well, they took the chance to remove my cast and bandages first, since I was supposed to go in for that in a few days anyway. But I didn't need to stay otherwise. Dad just had to wake me every few hours and check on me. I'm fine now."

"Well, I'm glad you're okay, I was really worried when you called me this morning."

"Sorry," I said sheepishly, realising now how my call must have affected Taichi. "My head was killing me this morning, I felt like crap and really just wanted to sleep. I wasn't really thinking that clearly."

He smiled at me. "It doesn't matter now. You're okay. That's what's important."

* * *

Some time later found me alone and attempting to do a bit of make-up work I'd picked up on that half day back, in a vain attempt to not think about Ny and what had happened earlier. I couldn't believe he'd actually kissed me. Why had he done that? He knew I was dating Taichi, hell, he'd known for ages that I'd had a crush on Taichi. I felt bad that I couldn't like him the way he wanted me to, but I couldn't force feelings where there weren't any.

No, wait. Homework... I had to stop thinking about it. If only it wasn't biology homework that I was working on.

He had apologised, at least. He'd probably just got caught up in the moment. And he couldn't have known that the things he was saying would trigger me with bad memories, so I couldn't fault him for that.

It was stupid to worry over it. I didn't like him that way, so the kiss meant nothing to me. I didn't even respond, so it wasn't like I cheated on Taichi or anything. The next time I saw Ny, we'd probably both pretend that nothing ever happened and our friendship would go on as usual. At least that's what I really hoped would happen.

Ugh, homework! Stop thinking, brain! I commanded myself mentally.

Thankfully a better distraction presented itself in the form of a knock on my door just then. "Yamato?" Dad called through.

I gratefully slammed my textbook shut and got up to let Dad in. Though when I saw how solemn and worried his face looked, I suddenly had the feeling I would have been better off stressing over Ny's kiss.

"What is it?" I asked a bit fearfully, almost afraid to know.

He stood still in the doorway and looked at me, studying my face for a moment as if silently debating with himself before sighing and rubbing his forehead. "I just got a phone call from the police," he started.

Yeah. Definitely wasn't gonna like this... I decided it'd be a good idea to sit back down, and plopped into my desk chair again. "What did they want?"

He didn't answer at first, just stood there unmoving, looking as if he'd rather die before telling me whatever horrible news he had.

"Dad," I prodded him, no small amount of dread in my voice.

"It's Ken," he finally said reluctantly. "He's escaped from the detention center."

I felt my heart skip a beat at Dad's words. "What?" I asked, raising a suddenly shaking hand to run through my hair. "Escaped? How? Why?"

"No one's really sure how he did it yet. Apparently he was discovered missing at a bed check. They locked the entire facility down and did a thorough search, but he couldn't be found. No one's certain of what he's planning now either."

"But they think he might come after me again," I whispered, swallowing hard. I could feel the panic building up inside of me, and tried hard to shove it down. I was already tired of falling apart all the time.

"It's a possibility," Dad said quietly. "I'm not going to lock you away from the world, but you need to be extremely careful right now. As much as possible, I don't want you to be alone."

No... This couldn't be happening. It was supposed to be over. Ken was supposed to be safely locked away, where he couldn't ever get to me or hurt me ever again. I was supposed to be safe. It wasn't fair.

I shook my head, trembling all over at that point. It was getting harder to breath again. My chest felt as if someone was crushing it. The panic was quickly overtaking me, no matter how much I tried to fight against it. The rest of the world faded away, everything muted except for the echoes of my own harsh panting as I struggled to take in enough air. And even though I was cognisant enough to understand I was in the midst of another panic attack and would be fine, it was still scary as hell to have that feeling of not being able to breathe.

"Yamato, stop." Dad was speaking to me, but his voice came from far away, as if he was yelling to me at the end of a long tunnel full of rushing wind. I struggled to listen. "Yamato, just calm down. You're okay. Just listen to my voice, don't think about anything else. Focus on taking slow, deep breaths. Calm down..."

Somehow, Dad eventually managed to talk me out of it, getting me more or less calm again. It was nice to not pass out or fall asleep for once, but I still felt pretty wiped out and ashamed. "Sorry," I mumbled when I felt I could speak again, pressing a hand over my eyes and trying not to cry. "I don't know why this keeps happening..."

I heard Dad get up and walk over to me, then felt him carefully place a hand on my shoulder. He was always so careful about touching me now, as if he thought I might break if he wasn't gentle enough. I wished he wouldn't be. As long as I wasn't in a flashback, I didn't mind people touching me. It was nice to have safe, comforting touches after all the pain Ken's touches had inflicted on me. "It's okay," he said. "You've been through a lot these past few months. I wouldn't expect you to be one hundred percent right now. You don't need to be embarrassed, Yamato, it's normal."

I shrugged, knowing he was probably right but still not really willing to believe him. I did at least take my hand away and look up at Dad. "I just want everything to be like it was before," I admitted quietly.

Dad swallowed hard, suddenly looking as if he might cry himself, though he smiled at me, probably trying to be reassuring. "I know you do," he said. "We'll get there, as close as we can, okay? In the meantime, how about you come sit in the living room with me, hmm? Watch some TV, relax a bit? You can come back to your homework later."

I knew Dad really just didn't think I should be left alone, but I nodded at him anyways. "Okay. You go ahead, I'm just gonna call Taichi real quick..."

He nodded at me, and left the room. Once I was sure he was completely gone, I grabbed my cell off my bed and dialled the familiar Yagami number. After a few rings, Mr. Yagami picked up and quickly handed the phone off to Taichi.

"Hello? Yamato?"

"Ken's escaped," I said, not even bothering with a greeting.

"I'll be right over," he said immediately.

"Wait, you don't have to..." I started, but he'd already hung up. I pulled the phone away from my ear and stared at it for a moment, then rolled my eyes and snapped it closed. At least he cared.

I went out to the living room to sit and wait with Dad.

* * *

It didn't take long for Taichi to arrive. When he knocked on the door, Dad took a break from his 'pretending to relax while watching tv' and looked at me questioningly. I shrugged at him. "Taichi decided he needed to rush over," I said.

"Ah," Dad replied knowingly, and got up to let him in, since I was apparently unwilling to give up my comfortable spot curled up on the couch. Truth be told, I was still feeling a little tired from my earlier panicking over Ken, and just didn't have the energy to get up.

As soon as Dad opened the door and stepped aside, Taichi made a beeline straight for the couch, stopping short in front of me and inspecting me, clearly making sure that I wasn't about to fall apart on him.

"I'm fine, Taichi," I said a bit irritably when he wouldn't stop staring at me. "You didn't even have to come back over."

He shrugged, finally leaving well enough alone and sitting down next to me. "Of course I did, you said Ken escaped."

"Yeah, escaped. Not 'escaped and is in my room threatening me at knife point' or something. It wasn't any great emergency."

Taichi huffed, pushing at my shoulder. "Just shut up and accept the support."

I crossed my arms, pouting at him. "Fine."

We sat quietly after that for a few moments, the only noise in the room coming from Dad's show. He was still pretending to be intently involved in the drama taking place on the screen, but I knew he was really keeping an eye on me, making sure that I didn't get upset or start panicking again. I knew that soon it would probably start to annoy me, having him constantly watching over me, but for now I didn't really mind.

"I've got some gossip that might distract you, if you want to hear it," Taichi said suddenly, startling me out of my thoughts. "I meant to tell you earlier and forgot."

"Huh?" I said, ever so eloquently.

"A rumour I heard this morning. I had the chance to confirm it in third period. It involves Ratsuii."

I blinked, slightly surprised. Usually when there was gossip about the band it involved Kenji, not Ratz. "Well that's a new one," I muttered, half to myself.

Taichi laughed quietly. "Well, you know Genjitsu?"

I looked at him in confusion, shaking my head. "Don't think so?"

"Aw, come on Yamato, you've gotta know him. Everybody knows him. He's really tall, dark eyes, got that dark slicked back hair that makes him looks like a movie star, and he's always getting in trouble for not wearing his uniform properly, usually because he's ditched the tie and blazer and unbuttoned his shirt..."

I frowned, thinking. "He sounds familiar, but I can't place him."

Taichi ran a hand through his hair, giving a quick glance at Dad, who was definitely listening to our conversation but acting as if he wasn't. After clearly giving a mental shrug, Taichi said, "He's one of the two only out gay guys in our school," with a very faint emphasis on the word out.

"Genjitsu..." I murmured, and then suddenly it clicked. "Wait a minute, isn't he the guy that Kenji's friend Keiichi slept with? That time they got really drunk at one of the band's afterparties?"

I heard a little choked off noise come from Dad's direction when I said that, but I ignored it, too interested in the tidbits of gossip to care what I was revealing to Dad.

"More than that," Taichi told me. "They've been going out for three years."

"Yeah, I remember now. I think I've even met him once or twice, before Ny banned Keiichi and him from coming to any more of the band's parties."

Taichi shrugged. "Probably. Well, apparently Keiichi's been cheating on Genjitsu with Sai-and I know you know Sai-"

I snorted, nodding at him. It was impossible not to know of Sai, his reputation was as well known as Kento's, except that Sai's was solely for being promiscuous. He would sleep with just about anyone, guy or girl, it didn't matter to him as long as he could stick his dick in someone.

"-well it seems that Gen finally found out about it. Turns out he's got a huge temper when he's pissed and scorned. Tuesday at lunch he got up on stage in front of the cafeteria and told Keiichi off right then and there. Then later, he managed to sneak in the principal's room-probably because he works in the office during seventh period-and he turned the intercom on and told the whole school that Keiichi was a slut, except nobody should ever sleep with him because he was really horrible in bed, and then he started to describe just how bad Keiichi was. The principal came in and dragged him off before he could go into much detail though, I guess."

I raised my eyebrows at Taichi, snickering a bit trying to picture all of that happening. "I wish I could have been there to see all that," I said, grinning.

Taichi grinned back at me. "Me too," he said. "Kenji said hearing Gen rant was hysterical, especially because you could hear the principal berating him before the intercom was turned off."

"I bet he'll have detention for awhile," I remarked, laughing outright now.

"A month, is what I heard."

"Wow. Poor guy. How does this involve Ratz though?"

Taichi gave another brief look over to my dad, then focused back on me. "Well, there was apparently a very brief rumour that Genjitsu was going out with Sai once he dumped Keiichi, but that's ridiculous since Sai doesn't date and who'd date the guy their ex cheated with? Winds up that it's actually Ratsuii he's dating now."

"What?" I yelped, my voice squeaking a bit in my shock. "But Ratsuii's straight! He's told me himself, numerous times. Him and Kenji both. What is he playing at?"

"He told me this morning that he's been kind of curious about guys for awhile now, and wanted to try something new."

"Hmm." I sat there for a moment, trying to digest such information. "Well it's not like I'd have a problem with it... just never really imagined he'd date a guy. I wonder how the band's female fans will react when it gets out."

Taichi shrugged. "The majority will probably eat it right up and romanticise the hell out of it. You know a lot of girls go crazy over that BL stuff."

"I suppose," I murmured. "As long as it doesn't hurt the band's reputation... It's fine being on an indie label while we're still in school, but eventually we would like to go major, and Ny will kill us if any of us fucks up that chance."

"Really, if anything, I think it'll help the band's reputation. I'm telling you, Yamato, girls love it. You'll be fine."

"I hope so."

"Yamato?" Dad said, interrupting our conversation.

"Yeah Dad?" I asked, looking over at him. My poor dad was looking slightly scandalised by our conversation, though he was trying hard not to show it. I couldn't help feeling a twinge of anxiety twisting in my gut at his reaction. I really hoped Dad didn't have a problem with homosexuality.

"I'm going to head off to the shower now. You guys behave out here, okay, and keep that door locked, understand?"

"Sure," I said, waving him off. "We'll be fine. Enjoy your shower."

Taichi waited until we were sure he was gone, and then immediately curled into my side, leaning over to kiss me. Immediately I was reminded of earlier, with Ny kissing me, and found it impossible to respond to Taichi with the sudden wave of guilt that crashed into me.

He pulled back after a moment, looking at me with concern. "You alright?"

I lifted a shoulder briefly, mustering up a small smile for him. "Sorry. Guess I'm still too worried about Ken."

"It'll be okay," he said, pressing a bit harder into my side, as if the physical contact would be enough to keep me safe from the bad things in the world. "He won't hurt you again, not if I have anything to say about it."

"I'd like to think not, but there's always a chance. You can't be with me twenty-four seven, Taichi."

"That's what you think," he muttered darkly.

I actually laughed at that. "The thought's sweet, but I don't want anyone to be with me twenty-four seven. I'd feel smothered. I really don't want you following me to the bathroom."

He gave me a sheepish look. "I guess... Just, be careful, please? It kills me, knowing that Ken was hurting you all that time before and I never once suspected. I know it's not my fault!" he added hastily when I glared at him. "It's just... I don't want you to be hurt anymore, okay? So please be safe."

"I will," I said softly, seriously. "As best as I can, I will. I promise you that, Taichi."

"Good," he said, just as soft and serious, and there we sat until Dad returned from his shower.

* * *

Seeing Ny the next day in third period was every bit as awkward as I'd expected. Luckily, he was doing as I'd predicted and pretending the previous day's kiss had never happened. It was small comfort though, when every time I looked at him I remembered the feel of his lips against mine. Still, I did my best to ignore it and go on as normal. I wanted the awkwardness to fade so we could go back to how we were before. Much the way I wanted the rest of my life to go back to 'before'.

"So now that my cast is gone and I can actually play again, any chance we can have a real band practice soon?" I asked, directing my question more towards Kenji and Ratsuii, even though Ny was usually the one to organise our practices, seeing as it was his band.

Ny gave me a strange look, as if wondering what I was on about. "Of course, we've got that fanclub concert Tuesday, remember?"

I blinked at him. To be honest, I hadn't remembered. With everything that had been going on in my life, the band's happenings had become a rather low priority for me. "...Shit," I said. "I forgot."

Ny groaned, looking annoyed, but thankfully Ratsuii came to my defense. "Well it's hardly surprising," he pointed out, "given everything else that you've had to deal with lately."

Ny sighed. "True. We'll just have to spend every spare moment until Tuesday practising, to get you back up to speed."

"Don't worry so much, Ny," Kenji said dismissively. "We'll be fine. Yamato's always been quick at learning new songs."

"True," he said, and then Mitsuo Sensei came in, clapping her hands a few times to signal the beginning of class. We all shut up then, and focused on class.

* * *

"Taichi, wait," I said, pulling on his sleeve as I shut my locker door, having finished exchanging my morning books for afternoon ones.

"Hmm?" he asked, turning to face me as he shut his own locker.

"Can we go to the old gym instead? I don't really feel up to seeing our other friends right now," I muttered, looking down at the floor, ashamed. The truth was, I was a bit afraid to see them. I didn't have a cast or bandages to hide behind now.

"Sure," Taichi said, looking a bit confused. He didn't question me though, and we walked the familiar route in silence, easily sneaking in and slipping under the bleachers.

Once we'd settled and Taichi had gotten his bento out, he fixed me with a stern look. "Okay, now talk," he commanded me.

"About what?" I asked, stalling by feigning cluelessness.

He refused to let himself be fooled though. "About whatever's got you so bothered you wanted to hide here instead of facing our friends."

I turned away from him, ashamed to find tears pricking at my eyes. I fiddled with the sleeves of my shirt, making sure they were pulled firmly down. I'd been checking and double-checking them all day long, terrified they'd accidentally ride up and expose my horrible secret to everyone.

"Yamato."

I looked up at him then, still not saying anything. He noted the tears threatening me, and watched me play with my sleeves for a bit. "Does this have to do with-" he gestured at my wrists, not finishing his sentence.

I nodded, biting down on my lip, blinking hard to keep the tears at bay. "It's..." I swallowed. "When I had the cast, and the bandages, I could just kind of ignore them, and what was underneath them, and what they'd turn into. But now they're gone, and I've got these-these stupid-they're gonna scar and they'll be so ugly and they'll be there forever and I hate them already!" I burst out angrily. I let out a brief sob and closed my eyes, trying to get a handle on my emotions.

"Yamato..." Taichi said softly, sounding pained.

"I'll never be able to wear short sleeves again," I said, once I'd gotten myself back under control somewhat. "Otherwise... people will see, and they'll know what I tried to do, and they'll know just how stupid I am because I couldn't even manage to do it right!"

"You don't know that for sure," he told me, scooting over closer to me and giving me a hug. "Who knows, they could be a lot less visible once they scar. And there may be ways to hide them, or reduce them. Don't write it off as hopeless without even trying, okay?"

I sniffled, pulling back away from him. "I've been so scared today," I admitted.

"About what?" he asked.

I shrugged a shoulder. "That my sleeves will come up, and people will see. I don't want the school to know. I don't want any of our friends to know. I don't want Kenji and Ratz to know. It's bad enough that Ny saw. Hell, it's bad enough the school knows what Ken did to me."

"I don't think that'll happen," Taichi said, trying and failing to reassure me. "I doubt your sleeves will just slide up your arms out of nowhere."

"Maybe not, but it's not impossible, they could slide up accidentally if I raised my arms, and I don't want to take that chance..."

He leaned back over, giving me a second hug. "I know it's hard, but try not to worry about it. I really think you'll be okay, Yamato, promise."

I wrapped my arms around him in return, burying my head into his shoulder and gladly accepting the comfort he gave me. "I really hope so."

* * *

"Excuse me? Ishida Yamato?"

I turned around warily upon hearing an unfamiliar voice calling my name. I suppose it was kind of silly to be wary of strangers considering it was a friend who'd hurt me, but ever since Ken I found it hard to trust anyone other than my friends and family. And after the way some of my classmates had reacted after the news report, anyone could be a potential threat.

Still, the guy looked harmless enough, and we were just outside the school with plenty of other people around, so he probably wasn't wanting to hurt me. I hoped. "Can I help you with something?" I asked as politely as I could manage.

"Could you sign an autograph?" he asked, rushing up and thrusting one of the band's CDs in my face.

I flinched on instinct, then blinked and grabbed it out of his hand. "Got a pen?" I asked him.

"Sure," he said, producing a black marker seemingly out of nowhere and handing it over. "I saw your concert the other night," he went on excitedly. "It was absolutely amazing! All of you were great, I had a blast! I wasn't sure at first if you were even going to be there, what with the news and all, but you really pulled through. I'm so glad I was able to get the tickets on time," he gushed.

"Thanks. I'm glad you liked it, and we really appreciate the support from you guys," I told him, handing his now signed CD back over. "I have to get going now, but I hope we'll see you at a future concert."

"Of course!"

I gave him an uncomfortable smile and wave, then turned back around and walked off. To be honest, I hadn't even been sure I wanted to still do the concert, but I knew it was important for both the band and the fans. It had been a limited ticket fanclub concert, and I couldn't have let everyone down. Thankfully it had actually gone well, and it being so limited probably helped a lot, as well as the tickets having all been sold out before the news about me broke. Otherwise there probably would have been a lot of curiosity seekers there, wanting a glimpse of me after hearing the news.

I mentally shrugged, dismissing it from my mind, and continued to head on home, reaching my building shortly. I really wished that Taichi hadn't had to run those errands for his mom. I wanted him to come home with me, as dad was at work and I hated to be alone in the apartment. But Taichi had already been coming home with me all week, and his mom really needed his help today, so I'd just have to cope.

As soon as the elevator dinged for my floor, I began to dig in my bag for my keys, absently stepping out and walking down the hall in the meantime. I finally found them buried at the bottom and pulled them out, looking up as I did so. Immediately I stopped short, for sitting there in the hallway outside my door waiting for me was Ken.

I stared in disbelief for a moment, then begin to back away, already feeling on the verge of a panic attack. Of course, the one time Taichi didn’t come home with me was the one time I really needed him. This was just too uncomfortably close to having so many of my nightmares come true. I swallowed hard against the sudden urge to throw up. I wanted to squeeze my eyes shut tight, so that when I opened them again Ken would be gone and I'd realise it was just some horrible waking dream, but I didn't dare take my eyes off of him. Instead, I continued to back away, wanting to get the hell away from there as fast as possible before Ken noticed me.

Unfortunately, luck refused to be with me. I was barely halfway back down the hall when he looked up and spotted me, standing up and taking half a step towards me. "Yamato, wait. Please don't go. I'm not going to hurt you, I just want to talk to you for a moment. That's all, I swear. Please wait."

As crazy as it sounded, he sounded so sincere that I actually stopped, entirely against my better judgement, though I definitely didn't go any closer again. I stayed tense, my hand gripping tight to my keys, my whole body tensed and ready to run or lash out at a moment's notice. I'd be damned if I would ever let him hurt me again.

Ken visibly swallowed, apparently relieved that I hadn't run screaming for the police. "Can we go in your apartment?" he asked, motioning his head towards the door.

I shook my head no at him, not speaking, silently wondering at how he could ask such a stupid question. There was no way I'd allow him back inside there again and give him a better chance to get to me, not after all the horrible things he'd done to me before.

Ken just sighed, accepting my answer, and slowly slid back down to sit in front of my door. I merely stared at him, waiting for him to say whatever he'd come to say. I had nothing to say to him. I never wanted to see him again. After a few moments he managed to spit out a ragged sounding, "I'm sorry."

I gave him an incredulous look. That certainly hadn't been what I was expecting.

Apparently he realised that wasn't enough to get me to speak, because after another few moments he continued on. "For what I did. To you." He paused, swallowed again. "I'm so sorry."

Was he serious? "You think that's supposed to make it all better?" I spit out, suddenly furious. "Are you insane? You don't just get to do all that to me for months on end and then come round with a measly little "I'm sorry" and expect that to just magically fix everything! It doesn't make it better!"

"Wait, no-"

"I already forgave you once!" I half-shouted at him, going right over whatever he was trying to say. "I forgave you, and you screwed it up. You fucking raped me, and I let you back in to my house, into my bed, into my life! And you repaid me by hurting me again, by abusing me for months. You don't get a third chance, do you hear? Just get the hell away from me, before I call the cops," I said. I was trying to sound menacing, but mostly I just sounded angry and scared.

"Yamato, no, I didn't..." He stopped, took a quick breath, and tried again. "I didn't come here expecting you to forgive me. I just-I wanted to apologise. I know it doesn't make anything better, doesn't undo what I did..."

"Why?" I asked, interrupting him. "Fuck, why did you do it? We were friends. I thought we were close friends. I cared about you..." I trailed off, swallowing hard and willing myself to stay calm. I missed the good friend he’d once been, but I didn’t want to cry in front of Ken. Not anymore.

"The darkness," he said very softly, so soft I almost missed it.

"What?"

"I never told you. In retrospect I probably should have," he said, and let out a little bitter laugh. I said nothing. "Those months ago, I'd been fighting the darkness again... it was so hard to control. It's not really an excuse, I know, but when you rejected me... I just lost control. I snapped. I don't even really remember what I did, except that when I came back to myself you were crying."

He stopped for a moment, and I just stood there limply, blinking back the tears I didn't want him to see. I didn't really want to hear any of it, even though I'd asked him why. I thought I’d wanted to know, but I was realising now that I wasn’t ready for the why. Not when there would never be a good reason.

"I'm sorry, Yamato. I'm so sorry. I tried to control it after that, but that night-I thought, you were asleep, you wouldn't wake up, you wouldn't find out, and I really liked you and if I could just touch you once, then maybe it would be okay."

He stopped again, this time daring to look up at me. I expected to see him maybe holding back some tears of his own, but instead his eyes were dry. Dry and hollow and dead-looking. I could only continue to stand there, too horrified at what I was hearing to speak. I wanted to tell him to stop, to shut up, but despite not wanting to know, I kept listening.

"But then you woke up, and I panicked, I knew I needed to, but I couldn't stop, you just looked so beautiful." Another pause, and he put a hand over his eyes. "I shouldn't have said those things. I know it wasn't really your fault, knew it then, but I hated that I was doing that to you and couldn't stop. And then you didn't fight me, so I thought maybe it was okay. After that, it just... it kept going, and it got out of hand. The darkness was there all the time, I couldn't fight it anymore. I was so ashamed. When you threatened to tell someone, I panicked. I didn't want anyone to know."

That was it. I couldn’t stand to hear another word of it. He’d done all of that to me because he thought I looked beautiful and he didn’t want to stop?

"Get out." I barely even whispered it.

"What?" He put his hand back down by his side, and looked back up at me, confusion written all over his face.

"Get out, Ken. Get out of here. I don't know what you thought you were doing coming here, telling me all of this, making it all about you, but I don't want to hear any more of it. You've done more than enough already. Get out, and never come near me again, do you understand? If you're really sorry, you'll leave now."

He looked at me for a heartbeat, and then nodded slowly. He got up and then headed down the hall away from me, towards the stairs. He opened the door to them and stepped through, disappearing without even looking back. I stared after where he'd left for a moment before I sank down to the floor right where I was standing and finally just cried.

* * *

School the next day was a complete bust. I should have just stayed at home, for all that I could concentrate on lessons. I hadn't been able to stop thinking about Ken since he'd left yesterday afternoon. All the things he'd said to me kept running through my head. I'm sure Taichi noticed how distracted I was, but as he didn't say anything, I didn't either. He'd ask if it started bothering him enough, though I wasn't sure I'd answer truthfully.

I just couldn't figure out Ken's motivation in breaking out and coming to see me just to say sorry. He'd certainly never seemed sorry any of the times that he was hurting me. Far from it, really. From the second time onward, all I'd ever heard was that it was my fault. For looking so beautiful, for making him want me... He never seemed to have a problem with any of the things he was doing to me, so why apologise now?

I didn’t want him to apologise to me. I didn't want to hear his sorries, or his excuses for why he'd done it. There was no good reason for it. We'd been friends, really good friends, and he threw it all away over a stupid crush that would have eventually faded had he just given it time. He should have just stayed in lock-up, because I never wanted anything to do with him ever again, no matter what he said to me about why.

"Mr. Ishida, have you heard a word of what I've said today?"

"Huh?" I look up, brought out of my musings by the sound of Motokuri Sensei's voice. He was looming over my desk, a pile of papers in hand and a disapproving look on his face.

Sensei sighed. "As I thought, you haven't listened at all. Class is nearly over, Mr. Ishida. I'm collecting homework, if you'd care to hand any over."

"Oh, uh, yes, of course." I blushed and started rooting around in my bag for last night's history assignment. "I'm sorry, Sensei." Having found it stuck between biology and literature, I handed it over with a shamed look on my face. "Here you go."

"Thank you, and please do your best to deal with whatever is distracting you over the weekend. I expect you to pay full attention in my class Monday afternoon, understand?"

"Yes, Sensei."

Satisfied, he continued heading around the room to collect the rest of the homework, finishing just in time for the bell to ring.

Taichi jumped up and headed over to my desk the second it did, giving me a bit of a look, but he still didn't say anything. I just shrugged at him and grabbed up my stuff, and we headed off to seventh period.

* * *

"Are you going to tell me what's been bothering you yet?"

"What? I'm fine."

Taichi let out a little huff and pulled back from me, finally giving up on trying to get me to be as enthusiastic about kissing as he was.

"Yamato, come on. You've been highly distracted all day. You didn't pay any attention in school. I'm surprised Motokuri Sensei was the first person to call you out on it. And even now you don't seem all that into what we're doing. You've barely kissed me back. I'd almost think you didn't like it if I didn't already know better." He sat back against the couch and crossed his arms across his chest, putting a deliberately pouty look on his face.

"Sorry," I said, feeling guilty. I sat back too, leaning into his side a bit. He always made me feel safe. "It's not that I don't like it, I'm just not really in a mood to right now I guess."

"What's going on? Are you still worried about Ken? He's been out for over a week now and hasn't tried to hurt you yet..."

"I know," I said, because even though it wasn't exactly how Taichi meant it, it was still true. I'd seen him, but he hadn't tried to hurt me. I wasn't so sure anymore that he even still wanted to. It was a pointless excuse, but he had said sorry, even if he'd still managed to make it sound as if it was all my fault for what he'd done to me.

"Please talk to me?" he asked, reaching over and poking me in the arm. "I just wanna help you if I can."

"I know," I said again, sighing. I scooted away and sat cross-legged sideways on the couch so I could watch his face for reactions. "I suppose I can tell you, if you promise you won't say anything to my dad. He'll overreact, and nothing really happened."

"I promise," he said immediately, though he was frowning.

"Okay." I took a deep breath, bracing myself for Taichi's overreaction. "Ken came to see me yesterday."

But the threats and babying I was expecting didn't happen. Instead, he blinked. "What?"

"He was here yesterday. I got off the elevator, and he was sitting in the hall floor, waiting for me."

Taichi's face darkened. "Did he hurt you?" he asked, looking me up and down for any visible marks. "I swear, if he hurt you again..."

Ah, there they were. I shook my head. "No. He didn't hurt me, didn't even get near me. Actually, it was weird. He kinda, well..."

"What?" Taichi demanded, still scowling. "He kinda what?"

"Well, he apologised."

"Apologised?" Taichi's face was reflecting the confusion in my voice. I nodded at him. "He actually said he was sorry,” he stated incredulously.

"Yeah. A few times. He tried explaining, gave some bullshit excuses about the darkness and how he never meant to and it was just so hard to..." I trailed off then, because Taichi was getting an increasingly guilty look on his face, one that meant he knew something and hadn't told me. "What do you know?" I asked him, suddenly feeling wary. Whatever he knew, I'm sure it wasn't good.

"Um." He turned away from me, scratching his head rather nervously.

"Taichi," I said, dread in my voice.

He stood up, and started pacing a bit. "Look, Hikari swore me to secrecy. It's something she heard from Daisuke, and she wasn't even supposed to tell me. You can't let on that you know this, okay?"

"I won't. Just tell me."

"It's got to do with what you said, about Ken trying to use the darkness as an excuse. It isn't an excuse for what he did to you, so please don't take it that way, but he wasn't just making it up out of nowhere. He apparently had a new brother..."

I sat there and listened in horror as Taichi told me in between paces about Ken's brother Subaru, of what had happened to him, and of what it had done to Ken. I didn't know how to wrap my mind around that. As close as we were, Ken had never told me that his mom was pregnant again, or that he'd gotten a new brother. He'd talked to me about Osamu a few times, and I'd known how deeply affected he was by all of it. The thought of a new sibling must have put him into big turmoil, especially when it turned out to be a brother. Why hadn't he ever told me? I would have tried to help him. I could have kept him from the darkness. Then none of this would have ever happened...

"Yamato? Are you okay?"

I nodded, even though I wasn't feeling okay at all. "Yeah, sorry. Just surprised... He never told me any of that. It's still not an excuse for the ways he hurt me, though."

"I know," he reassured, finally sitting back down next to me. He leaned over and pressed a gentle kiss to my lips. "I know it wasn't. I wasn't trying to say it was. Trust me, I'll have a hard time not hurting him if I ever come across him. He had absolutely no right to do anything you didn't want."

I smiled a bit at that. He made me feel so cared for, even though I would rather he didn't hurt Ken, just because I didn't want him to wind up in jail. I couldn't stand the thought of losing Taichi. Boyfriend or not, he was still my best friend above all else, and I wanted him to always be in my life.

I leaned over and kissed him then, fully intending to make up for my inattentiveness earlier, but before I had a chance to really get into anything, he quickly pulled away from me.

"Wha-" I started to say, right as he let out a loud sneeze.

"Um. Bless you?" I offered.

He grinned a bit sheepishly. "Sorry about that."

However, it actually turned out to be a good thing, as just then I heard the sound of keys starting to undo the locks on the front door. Most likely it was just Dad coming home, but I still tensed up slightly, not relaxing until he walked in and I was reassured that I was still safe.

"Hi boys," he greeted us, looking a bit tired.

"Hi, Mr. Ishida."

"Hi Dad. You're home earlier than usual. Is everything okay?"

"Well, about that..."

* * *

"Shikoku? Are you kidding me? Dad, no!" I wailed. "Can't you turn it down? Please don't go!" Okay, so I was being a bit of a baby. But ever since the truth about Ken finally came out, I couldn't bear to be left home alone. Even knowing that he was locked up didn't help; I had an irrational fear that he was going to show up and try hurting me again. His escaping only made it worse, and one little apology visit didn't fix that.

"I'm sorry Yamato, but I really can't," Dad said, slightly exasperated. "I told you, the guy who was originally supposed to go had a family emergency come up, and I'm the only qualified one available to go in his place right now."

"Then can't they just put it off until his emergency is over?"

"It doesn't work that way, Yamato, you know that. It's an ongoing story, something happening right now. If no one covers it now, then it doesn't get covered."

"Don't cover it then! It's just stupid news, no one ever cares about it anyways. Who even watches the news..." I muttered, thoroughly upset. I got up and left, stalking down the hall to my room where I flopped onto my bed, burying my face into my pillows. I'd left poor Taichi in there to continue sitting awkwardly with my dad, but I didn't care right then.

I knew I'd have to get over my fear of being left alone eventually. I certainly couldn't spend the rest of my life living with my dad and inviting Taichi round whenever he wasn't there. But I figured it'd be a gradual process, not a whole week alone all at once.

I considered going to stay with Takeru, but I knew Natsuko would drive me crazy before the first night was even up. And even though I was seventeen, there was no way Natsuko would let him come stay with me for a week without Dad here too.

Staying at Taichi's that long was out of the question, I couldn't impose and there wasn't really any room for me. I probably could have stayed with Ny, if it weren't for the fact that we were still super awkwardly avoiding each other over that kiss. Ratz and Kenji were both out, Kenji never let us come over for some reason and with four other siblings, Ratz didn't have any room for me either. Maybe one of the other Chosen...?

"Yamato?"

"What?" I asked, voice muffled by the pillows. From the direction of his voice, Taichi was probably hovering in my doorway.

"Well, I'm not really sure if this is what going on, but I've been noticing that you don't seem to let yourself be home alone anymore. So I thought, if you were scared to be by yourself for a week, I could ask my mom, and if she says okay and your dad says okay, I could just stay here with you. If you want?"

I rolled over then, and looked at him. He was where I'd thought, standing in my open doorway, trailing fingers up and down the door frame, not looking at me. "I don't mean to be a baby about this," I said, my voice small. "But when I used to be left home alone, that's when he'd show up and hurt me, and now I just keep thinking it's going to happen again."

"That doesn't make you a baby," Taichi said, coming over to me and sitting on the edge of the bed. Door frame no longer in reach, he started trailing his fingers down my back instead. "We both know I'm definitely no expert, but that actually sounds pretty normal to me. If you got hurt every time you were home alone, well... I wouldn't want to be alone anymore either."

"I guess so. That feels really good."

"Hmm, what does?"

"Your fingers," I mumbled, relaxing more comfortably into the bed as he started massaging lightly. I'd been pretty tense and confused all day, and that was certainly helping to take the stress away.

"Ah." He laughed knowingly. "So do you want me to ask?"

"Please. And thank you."

"Okay," he said, but he didn't make a move to get up. I didn't really mind, I was quite content to lay there and let him keep massaging me. We sat in happy silence for a bit. I was nearly asleep when he spoke up again.

"Do you really think he might show up to hurt you again?"

"What?" I ask, jerking fully awake.

"Well, you said he came over and apologised to you. Do you think he'll come back to hurt you again?"

"...I don't know. It doesn't seem to matter. I'm afraid no matter what. I was afraid even when he was locked up and I was safe. And yeah, he said he was sorry, but that doesn't mean he actually means it. He could have done it to throw me off guard, make me think I could trust him again, and then when I think I'm okay he shows up and hurts me." I took in a breath, letting it out slowly, trying to keep calm. "You should have heard the things he was saying, going on about how he couldn't help himself because I was so pretty, and that he thought it was okay since I didn't stop him... He apologised, but he never once truly accepted the blame. So who knows what he might try to do. I just don't know, Taichi."

"Hey, I know, Yamato. I wasn't saying that you can't be scared, or that it's safe to be alone. But you said he came to visit you and that he didn't hurt you, so I just thought there was a chance that maybe he really is done hurting you, that we wouldn't have to worry about him anymore."

"I can't just turn it off, Taichi," I said. My voice was trembling. I rolled over on to my side, facing away from him, and curled up as much as possible. "He broke me, Taichi, don't you realise?"

"You're not broken."

"Yes I am!" I shouted. I stopped, and choked back a sob. "I am," I said, quieter this time. "He broke my trust, not just in him, but in nearly everybody. Beyond Dad and Takeru, you, the other Chosen, and my bandmates, I don't trust hardly anyone now. Some guy wanted my autograph yesterday, and I had to look around and make sure there were too many people around for him to try and hurt me. I didn't used to be that way, Ken made that way.

"He betrayed my friendship, stole my innocence, hurt me worse beyond anything I could ever imagine. He put me through my own personal hell, drove me to near suicide, made me despise my very existence. There wasn't a night where I didn't cry myself to sleep, wondering what I'd done to deserve it, wondering if it would ever stop. And when I threatened to tell, finally realising that he wasn't just going to stop, he threatened to kill me, kill my family, kill my friends. Anyone he could use against me, he did."

"Yamato-" He sat up straighter, and tugged on my side until he had me laying on my back. I ignored him and kept on.

"If the hospital hadn't discovered what was going on and told Dad, I probably never would have told. I just would have let it keep happening. Even after they knew I let it keep happening, because of how terrified he made me feel about telling the truth. There are days where I wake up and I forget that it's over. I think that he's still out there, still going to hurt me, and that if I tell anyone he'll kill me or the people I care about. And even when I wake up more and start to remember, I have a hard time believing it. I have to go and ask my dad, you know, 'Is it over? Am I safe?' and only when he says yes can I start to believe him.

"All of that has been my life for months now. I don't even remember how to not worry and be scared anymore. I can't just magically turn it off and be fixed again, okay? You can't ask that of me."

"I'm sorry," he said, and his voice was very quiet. "I didn't really mean-I guess I just never realised. Why didn't you tell me this before?"

"What would have been the point?" I asked bitterly. "What's the point now, really? Even if that's how I feel, you're the one that's right. I need to just stop worrying and get over it. People have gotten hurt-raped-way worse than I've ever had it. I'm nothing special and I need to stop acting like it."

"Wha-no. Don't even say things like that," he told me sternly, purposely holding my gaze. It wasn't often I saw him looking so serious. "You said it yourself, Ken put you through hell, it's not something you just 'get over' so easily. And you can't compare yourself to other people either. Whether they've had it worse or not isn't important. All that matters is what you've been through. You didn't ask for any of it, and you have the right to be scared and worried because of it. Okay? And you are special, Yamato. You always have been and that's got nothing to do with Ken or what he did to you."

"Okay." I wasn't sure I believed him, though.

* * *

"So what'd she say?" I asked. It was a short time later. I'd been waiting on Taichi to come back from calling his mom for permission to stay with me the week.

"It took a bit of convincing, but she said yes," he told me, grinning. "Did your dad okay it?"

"Yeah, I told him I'd feel better with you here and he said it'd be fine. I had to promise to go to school every day though. And he's leaving some extra money so we can feed your bottomless pit of a stomach."

"Hey!" he protested, though it sounded half-hearted. "He doesn't have to leave the money though. Mom'll give me some if I need it, or we can always go over there to eat anytime we want."

"Yeah, I suppose. I don't know if I trust your mom's cooking though."

"Hey..." he weakly protested again. "It's not that bad when she's not experimenting."

"And that's been going on for how long now?" I asked him sweetly.
He sighed, accepting defeat. "Okay, okay, we'll take your dad's money. Just in case."
I grinned, holding up a handful of bills. "Already ahead of you, Taichi."
He mock glared at me. "When is he leaving, anyways?"
"First thing tomorrow morning, he said. His plane leaves at eight."
"So I guess I'm staying tonight then."
"It'd be appreciated, yes."
"I should probably head home now and pack up some stuff then, maybe eat dinner with my parents or something. I'll be back over in an hour or two, if that's alright?"
"That's fine with me," I said, shrugging. "I should probably clean up my room a bit while you're gone anyways. You wanna share the bed with me or sleep on the floor?"
"Bed's fine, if you're okay with that." He leaned over and gave me a quick kiss. "See you in a bit."
"See you," I echoed, giving him a little wave.

part two