Some days it is all ok - I can deal.
Then some days it is all just too much

I try to be strong and deal with all the shit
I'm not good at this though
I break down
I pray the world away
I explore ways to dull the pain, the thoughts, the responsibilities

Who could ever love me?
Broken, scarred, and far too much to handle...

She lays on the bed- naked ( Read more... )

my cat was killed this weekend - I should have saved her - I can't stop crying

I'm beyond sad

I'm loney

I'm lost

Still here

still breathing

one step at a time

I live in northeastern BC for work right now, it's winter here. Winter always brings up the same feelings, it makes me want to smoke and drink coffee all day. I want to hide in oversided sweaters and scarves. I want to watch the world become clean in a blanklet of white and wish it was that easy for me.

It's been a long time ( Read more... )

alone
drunk
for a smart girl i always make the wrong choices
i look for reasons to destroy myself
i want to run and scream
i want to hide in silence
iguess i want it all

it has been months. months of trying to be good. to be that person that is expected of me. and i did it. i was good and kind, got straight As and smiled a lot. but now it is harder. now that i realize where it has got me, where i am standing right now. i am alone. and it is not that i need someone there, to validate who i am. it is that i ( Read more... )

Into Dust ( Read more... )

i am done school until Jan. two more semester and i graduate. I cannot wait to be done, to be free. i drank three glasses of wine as my mother watched and critized. Then once she had gone to bed i drank peach schnappes and vodka ( Read more... )