I can't keep pretending life is ok and that its gonna work out the way I want it to. Its never gonna happen. I lay in bed and cry at night, hoping...praying that things will change. I'm just prolonging the inevitable, my own self torture.

the future feels so uncertain to me right now. yes, this is an amazing joyous time. and im excitedly looking forward to the next few monthes. but when are things gonna fall into place...if they even are? right now i feel so alone. im not, but that doesnt mean i dont feel it. i guess there are just times i feel other things and people are put in ( Read more... )

i mean it still sucks dont get me wrong. i hope it passes by fairly quickly though.

im somebody. dont treat me like im not.
im someone important. dont pretend im nobody.
i love you.

and sad. wish i could take all ur hurt away...

im really not quite sure why i continue to do this to myself. im tired of hurting. im tired of being duped. i deserve something better. someone who loves and respects me. not someone who finds this game funny. hearts and emotions are not something to be toyed with. you would think after all this time, after all the things i have said, and the ( Read more... )

...and fuck you too.

nothing i do is ever good enough..so y do i continue to try?

why do i do this to myself? why do i insist on continuing to do what i do when i know im never gonna get what i want? things are never gonna change in my favor. everything i do for you, equals up to nothing. it doesnt matter how much i give, its never enough. i dropped everything and came running when u asked me to..not to be reconized for it, but ( Read more... )

staying strong for someone else really is wearing on the body. i couldnt help but walk away for a minute..what i really wanted to do was breakdown and cry. it was all a lil bit over whelming. but there is nowhere in the world i would have rather been then right there by ur side holding ur hand. sitting in that rock hard chair, trying to sleep..but ( Read more... )