Girl, I has not found me ONE damn man on dis stupid Match.com thing. I be havin' it up a week! What's up wit' dat shit? Y'all, I is straight trippin'. It's hurrble! Shit, I'mma 'bout to lose my mind. Lord, help me, I need some Church's chiggen.

GIRL!!! I gots me a profile up at Match.com lookin' fo' me some mens!

Anyway, I be lookin' up and seen dis FINE ASS MAN!!! An' so I try to contact him, right? Girl, WRONG.

It costs money! 1 munt fo' $19.95, 3 munts fo' $39.95, an' 6 munts fo' $59.95! Girl, that is such a rip-off!

Okay, now! I got my damn computer workin' again... my boo, Orangejello fixed it! Ooh! He is so fine! Too bad he is a fruit, or I'd get down in his pizzants.

Anyway, girl, I got me dis new icon an' it be havin' Tupac on it. I almost fell flat out of my shoes, y'all! He is so fine an' now he be mine!

Represent!

I is ova at shaniquasimmons' house 'cause my damn internet ain't workin' fo some mofuckin' reason. Dat's why I ain't been updatin' or anything. Girl, Shaniqua get all bent up and tell me I ain't updatin' and people is complainin'. Y'all playa hatas can just kiss my hairy black ass for all I care. I don't need y'all if thurr ain't no undastandin', you know what I' ( Read more... )

Girl, don'tchoo hate it when a man be frontin' dat he a balla? Dis mo'fucker said he had straight up cold cash an' it was a LIE, so I was like, "What da fuck you tryin' to start here, mo'fucker? Don't make me beat you wit' my pump!" I push his ass up against the wall and I all like, "OH GIRL!!!!! L'vant gonna show you a goood time!" an' I start ( Read more... )

GIRL!!! I IZ GONNA RE-VIEW DIS SONG ( Read more... )

SHIT, FOOL! Let me tell you dis time dis woman was all up in my grill and I tol' her to get ta steppin' but she din't, so I tol' her to get ta steppin', and she started actin' a fool, and I was like, "Oh hell no, bitch!" And she wouldn't stay away from my MAN, so I beat her upside her face with one of my pumps.

OHH HELL!! IT'S ON, NOW!!
THANKS TO shaniquasimmons, L'VANT HAS GOT HER A LIVEJIZZOURNAL!!!
I BE OFF DA HOOK NOW!
SHOUT OUT TO MY MAN LEROY AND MY BABY DADDY STEPHAN, AND MY MOMMA!!!