Billions of people around the world watched the ball drop, or the fireworks go off, or the dancers dance or whatever it is they do in their country for New Years Celebrations. Millions of families sat around drinking eggnog, staring at their Christmas tree that by now is probably dried and desperately needing to go in the garbage before it becomes ( Read more... )

The world is changed. I feel it in the nachos. I smell it in the cheese sauce

[::NOTE::] -->Likely the longest one to date <-- The currency of the afterlife isn't quite what it used to be. I know, I've been there and back again. It's one of those funny little epitaphs that end up recounting the world in a day. You know the type, I'm sure you've seen them. The kind of tombstones that actually bring some kind of reckoning to ( Read more... )

I'm gonna make this one quick because I know, in the past, most of my post have been very long and involved, yet somehow lacked any real intelligence. At least I'm good at faking it. I think ( Read more... )

One of these days I'm gonna find a way to separate myself from the many mistakes I make and have made throughout the entirety of my life. If mankind ever found out how to do that as a collective, people like Shawn and Marlon Wayans wouldn't be popular. Not that I'm riffing on their parents for having those two inbred incestual freaks, I'm just ( Read more... )

'Hell naw I don't want no god damn fries with that! If your burgers are any indication of what the fries'll be like, I'm almost positive I'll be able to pick 'em out of the bag with a MAGNET!In the past I've complained about a lot of things. In the past I've disguised general humor as a complaint. In the past I'd like you to know that 90% of my ( Read more... )

I love asking people to do me favours. Half the time I ask just because I know they aren't going to do it but they enjoy shining you on and pretending they are. That's just the funniest thing to me. I go out of my way to do all the favours I can for people. While I admit I haven't been perfect at that (and a few favours went undone due to poor ( Read more... )

When I die at the ripe old age of 120-years-old, I want to be buried in a casket after I'm boned, filleted and cremated. Oh, you may think I'm joking now, but that's all right. We'll see who's laughing when I visit the funerals of those whom are younger than me. My casket'll be full of little sprinkled bone fragments of my 120-year-old ass after ( Read more... )

When you're happy, that's all that matters. I see happy people a lot; they're usually quite diverse in their opinions. About this phenomenon known as 'Happy', I mean. What is happy? When you get right down to the middle of it, is it an entity, is it just a feeling. Or perhaps the popular scientific explanation for every emotion, chemicals induced ( Read more... )

In lieu of an actual post. Screw it, I don't feel like a rant. Maybe t'morrow.

For all those Rockman X fans out there: This one's for the team! This one's for the TEAM!
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'Cuz I Just Died' by Zero, Maverick Hunter (Quite Frequently Dead) (Ant/Forte)

To the tune of: 'Cuz I Got High',

(Zero: "It's like... I'm not gay or nothin' man, ( Read more... )