I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

i haven't been home since the end of august. and i was only home for like a day after spain so it's more like since the first half of august. it's weird. i mean i'm only going to be home for a few days for thanksgiving break, and i'm not really going to have time to see anyone. but every time i go home, i feel like a different person. lately i wish ( Read more... )

in regards to the last note, ironic that one of them contacted me out of nowhere. THEN I GOT MY PERIOD. he's really useless otherwise. i tried to give him a chance, but he's just plain stupid and full of shit.

anyway, the classic crime is awesome. lately when lyrics say "love" though, i don't really consider love referring to a guy. things are ( Read more... )

yesterday i was waiting in the car in the parking lot and i saw this kid i liked last summer. i wonder if he saw me. odd ( Read more... )

i literally just posted an entry. but that one was private anyway ( Read more... )

since i've been to college, i've really been trying to brush off this feeling. i'm trying so hard just to be happy on my own. i've always thought i should find that right guy, and then work on the rest of me because i feel empty without him. i just want to save someone and have them save me. that's always been my goal. i hear you can't love someone ( Read more... )

i can't believe i graduated from high school two years ago. it seems so far away, yet i feel like i'm so old and i can't possibly be halfway done with college. some say i'm a completely different person, and others say i stayed exactly the same. i guess in ways, both are true. all i know is that i let go of so many negative qualities i had since i' ( Read more... )

when will i be good enough
when will i have my priorities straight
when will i accept reality
when will i let go of stupid shit
when will i be comfortable with myself again
when will i change
when will i be truly satisfied

and i say "when" in front of that hoping that the day will come. i don't know

i'm going home tomorrow. and i'm for once happy with that. i sent a mom a text saying i was excited to go home, and she sent me back a text that said it made her day. which made mine. that was cute ( Read more... )

i'm on a downward spiral and i'm constantly terrified of turning into who i used to be. this sunday i went for a nice walk and decided to shape up, go to all of my classes, go on the computer less, etc. i was doing good until i got on the computer today. i've been pretty bad today with that. i have a test tomorrow. i studied in advance which i ( Read more... )