I am seething mad. I am so full of fucking terrible destructive feelings I want to kick things in, yet I remain perfectly still. I have no reason for this, fuck. I am in the big black hoodie. Sucked down like an under-toe into my own anger.

I thought I had lost all my CDs and today I found them all in order in there book on top of my car. I feel like the Goddess has been holding me in grace recently. I was crying to myself that I am a ball of yarn with to many ends flying loose all over the place, I lose every thing and I never call any body back(Oh Zach I miss you and Sho). That ( Read more... )

Oh fall, swirling leaves of never ending bitter cold. I can only dream the ground will thaw and is spring so far away. I am trudging thru my days now. I sleep in as late as I can get away with, a thing so different to this early riser and it feels like hibernation. I wake up, look at my clock and, no matter what it says, scheme on how many more ( Read more... )

My neck is tight I should sleep, but I am so awake. Tomorrow we worm the ewes. Some times I will wake up from a dream and feel as if I have the bullet like pill stuck in my throat and I don't know weather to cough it up or swallow. Except or ignore, stand or run. I sit in that in between place now, because November is a dreamy time of candle ( Read more... )

Hampshire Halloween is gearing up all around me, and sleeping in my bed is the love of my life. I am missing my old friends right now and wishing I could share this crazy party with them all. It is so intense, there are 3 stages for bands that are playing all night long and a giant rave in the gym. Peoples costumes are insane! There is a hunted ( Read more... )

I am so scared I will lose more than that bacelet and my ear ring, that soon only his anger will be left and every time the phone rings I cry.

I am getting tickle cough, and I always forget how nice it is to breath out of both nostrils, until I can only snuffle from one. But I am happy. I have my two classes today, and then I am off for October break. I am so excited to go home. I will miss my lovely ones, but, oh, to see my mom and dad! I haven't seen Hank since he dropped me off ( Read more... )

I am sitting in a lovely room where I am to type and file papers for the school of Interdisciplinary Arts. It's a good job and I'm glad I got it, my boss is a dear woman and most days we just end up chatting. But today I am watching potato harvest right outside my window, I want to be out there. I want to be in that 300 level course that covers ( Read more... )

I have had the most amazing post Birthday day in my history. I find myself glowing with it, radiating it out, letting it ripple, this feeling this love. I want to send it to Xander whose amazing mixing now fills my ears and his sweetness refreshes my heart. I want it to flow to Kathryn and Mica curled in a bed and as happy as a new love can be( ( Read more... )