An event vent

[lyricon]

A situation came up today that I was totally unprepared for. By that I mean that I had an opinion on an issue and expected other people would probably share my opinion. In fact, it never occurred to me that anyone would have seriously different ideas about this subject. And then, it turned out no one agreed with me much at all.

Comments

[jazzfish]

Is this some archaic form of feminism or office etiquette?

No. You're completely in the right, far as I can tell.

Am I wrong to think that anyone will find Hooter's an awkward venue?

Well, you do. That's one. There's the HR rep, that's two. I notice that 100% of the women in this story are against the idea and 100% of the men don't see a problem with it.

I mean, jeez. The whole /point/ of Hooter's is that The Women Are There To Be Ogled. If deliberately choosing to go there, /after/ you've expressed your concerns, isn't imposing an environment that's designed to make you uncomfortable, I don't know what is.

Graah. Lengthy incoherent feminist rant snipped.

Am I just weird and crazy?

No. Although there's always the possibility that I'm taking this further than you wanted, in which case I apologise.

Do I just really need to go study art history instead of being a middle manager on a DOD contract?

. . . I really really hope things are better in art history than in business.

[lyricon]

Thanks for the support... I really appreciate knowing I'm not a total weirdo. Maybe I'm naive, but I guess I just thought that we lived in a world of politically correct office functions. I thought things like this only happened in shows conceived by Ricky Gervais.

I hope art history is better too... or at least, better for me. I talked to my boyfriend about it (actually called him on the verge of tears of frustration), and said something about how I just couldn't imagine a bunch of art history scholars struggling with this same issue. He laughed and agreed, adding that art history scholars get to look at gorgeous simulations of naked or nearly-naked bodies anytime they want, and don't need to go out to a tacky restaurant for the post-Puritan thrill.

Anyway, thanks again for ranting along with me a little. Makes me feel a little less like some wacky bra-burner...

[jazzfish]

That's what I'd thought too. I keep being unpleasantly surprised that the real world isn't nearly as progressive and equal as I'd expected it to be.

thanks again for ranting along with me a little. Makes me feel a little less like some wacky bra-burner...

Heh, well. I /do/ have radical feminist tendencies, so my ranting is probably not the best yardstick to use there. But you're welcome.

[posindustries]

Tricky situation, but I don't think anyone was necessarily in the wrong, neither you nor they. I do, however, find it more than a bit odd that they'd be so dead set on going to Hooters. I guess if emptying your wallet for some mediocre chicken wings and someone to pretend like they find you the least bit interesting is your thing, that's fine, but why more guys don't find that beyond sad is a question for the ages.

As for your last question. Yes. Do that.

[lyricon]

That was part of what really confused me... it's not like I was saying we should boycott Hooter's or no one could ever go. It just didn't seem like an appropriate place for an office event. Oh well.

April's almost over, so... three months to go!

[prog]

It sounds like you are in a completely different plane of existence from these guys.

Given the particulars of the situation, and what you've tried to do already, I'm not sure what you can do about it, especially since you're not there for too much longer (right?).

If you wish to make a lasting impression, maybe the best you can do is write a formal letter to appropriate parties stating in no uncertain terms that this is a poor decision that can damage the feeling of an office culture that's not just comfortable but safe, especially for women. But this doesn't sound terribly different than the conversations you've already tried to have.

I've another friend who is a young woman elsewhere in DOD-contracting-land, and she has her own stories of running into tweaky situations where suddenly the light shifts and she feels like she's walking among aliens. Maybe it's part of the overall culture in the field.

[prog]

The more I think about this (and after pondering jazzfish's comment), the more I'm quite positive that at least a few of my friends would consider this a quittin' offense - especially, again, since you're counting the days left anyway.

I amend my comment: if you really want to make a lasting impression, write that letter, and frame it as a resignation.

I'm not saying it's your best course of action, even though it'd be kind of awesome. Holding your nose and staying there until your tour's done is certainly the more financially sound way to go. But wow, what a suddenly crummy environment to end in. :(

[lyricon]

Ah, if only this had corresponded a little more with my preconceived plans for leaving. Alas, Hawaii's exorbitant cost of living and the fact that I'll be a starving grad student for a couple of years will probably (sadly) trump my sense of moral outrage. Sigh. Still, it is a lovely idea to contemplate.

[uilos]

jazzfish totally beat me to everything I was gonna say.

Seriously, the only people who think this is a good idea are males and they seem to be flat out unwilling to consider any other point of view.

Also, what does it say about the leaving co-worker that the only place he can think of to go out to is Hooters?