tonight the sky is painted.

[m00n_and_back]

okay, so i had this dream+it woke me up at 4am. i can't get back to sleep. it's kinda gnarle/awkward/weird.

dream//nightmare.so, idk some things happened to where i was just over life, in it's entirety. so i got a gun. [[just apperared, like things in dreams do.]] +i didn't want to fell any pain. i shot myself in the head 4 times. [[gnarle.]]

Comments

[too_difficult]

that made me want to cry.
seriously.

maybe you should talk to her, just to tell her how you feel.
apparently your subconscious thinks so, huh.

but whatever happens, you know im here for you.
you know the number.

i love you
and you deserve everything you want.
i hope you know that.

[m00n_and_back]

i love you beara.
yah, i think i should talk to her at some point.
we'll see, i guess.

you deserve everything too.
you're amazing.

thank you for always being there for me.
MU.
<3

[chriszak]

i just commented on this on your myspace

[m00n_and_back]

i just replied to your comment on myspace.
hah.

[chriszak]

no you didn't!

[m00n_and_back]

did i write you back or something?
i'm retarded.
maybe i meant i sent you a message?
retard.
retard.
retard.

[uberderek87]

To me this looks like a dream that you're using as an outlet for your expression towards your mom. I used to have tons of these when my dad and stepmom lived in Washington and I had to visit them. Because I could never stand up to them in person, in my dreams I was able to scream my head off! That made me feel better but never solved the problem...
It almost looks like you learned something from this dream:

"it doesn't make sense. +i finally realized that, it's okay that it doesn't. life doesn't make sense. especially when i have a ton of other things to be happy about."

Either way you're tough, to an extent, and you should use the support of your friends and family (brother, sister in law) for this. You have a lot to look forward to and you're doing something people dream about. Haha. Dream. Well wasn't that what this was originally about?

[m00n_and_back]

i love you derek.
you're DEFF one of the bests i was talking about.
maybe you're right.
i think i did realize things anyway.
i'm so so so glad that i have friends like you.
because you're A-MA-ZING.
thankkkkk you for alwaysss cheering me up.
no matter what my dilema.
i'm just tired of people being like,
"omg. i'm so jealous you have an amazing life."
everyone has problems.
everyone.
okay.
emo, emo, emo.
that's how i feeeeeeeeel.
love you!

[uberderek87]

Oh Anna you made me old man laugh!

[m00n_and_back]

you are an old man.
i was thinking, "what does an old man laugh sound like?"
+in my head it was, "heeeeee-hawwww."
but i was like, wait a second.
that's a donkey...
kay.
+i'm done.

[csue]

that update was so honest and wonderful

not that i take pleasure in your pain

but you are so strong and wonderful despite (or maybe because of) the experiences you've had

i think you're great. you are your own person, which is so rare. it is almost impossible to find "real" people today. and i think that you, coffee thermos, are as good as it gets!

haha i love you! come back to michigan, and when you do...let me know so we can do lunch!

[m00n_and_back]

ha, yah i guess it's pretty difficult to actually let people in.
especially because the last thing in the world that i want is for someone to say,
"oh my god. i feel so sorry for her."
i'm not looking for sympathy.
or empathy.
or even apathy.
i think that's all the "thy's".
haha.
but yes.
me+you=lunch.
AMAZING.
i want to move back.
we'll see what happens in LA next month.
but i'll definitly come visit.
love you caity sueeeee.
<3