I need to get my unhealthy reaction to the last few hours of BSG off my chest I guess. I apologise for bad spelling mistakes and general incoherence in advance. ( Obviously spoilers for the last episode )
Oh, sweetie! I am crying reading this because your emotions are so raw and real and everything that I've been feeling for months.
I was so worried for you after I realised the finale was everything I'd feared it would (and wouldn't) be, because you, more than anyone, kept that shining hope alive--so strong that even *I* nearly got talked round into it again! I can't imagine the shock with which this must have hit you. But I admire you so much for believing until the end. I don't think it's 'stupid' to have hope (though I know I've cursed myself for having it at times!) because I think you are loving with all your heart, just like in your vids--you poured yourself into this show, these characters, this ship with everything you had and that's why they are so amazing. MORE AMAZING than the show!
I’m left wondering if it is all just the worst nightmare imaginable and maybe I’ll wake up soon. I know that feeling.. I have woken up thinking about BSG every morning for over a week and the horrible reality comes thudding back to me each
( ... )
PS. I am going away soon (Thursday) for two weeks but then I will be back and I would love to talk to you then. I wish I could be around in the interim because I think we all need each other a lot right now. I don't want you to feel alone in your grief. I will message you when I get back and be thinking of you and my other poor, devastated Kara/Lee fans.
I know how you feel - I've been through that a couple of times; most recently a week before the finale aired, when I had an inkling of how bad things were going to be and I just couldn't watch it
( ... )
I know how you feel - I've been through that a couple of times; most recently a week before the finale aired, when I had an inkling of how bad things were going to be and I just couldn't watch it.
No one could imagine how bad it would Really be. Anders isn’t what’s eating most of us at all. Indifference and cruelty towards two amazing characters that can’t be justified *is*. But it’s great that you were at least prepared more than others. And I can’t tell you how glad I am that you didn’t watch the finale.
At this point I don't have a single positive feeling towards RDM - even when I'm managing to hide behind simple numbness, I see how much my friends are hurting and I want to nail him to the wall using iron spikes through his eye sockets.Could you do that to my brain with those iron spikes please? It’s flooded with poisoned imagery that doesn’t leave me alone and haunts me even in my dreams. Burning DVDs or deleting all footage from my hard drive won’t solve anything, because the vision in my head is too fucking real and vivid
( ... )
Indifference and cruelty towards two amazing characters that can’t be justified *is*. Some of the reactions have been downright surprising. People I never expected to have any sympathy for Lee are suddenly acting like human beings towards him. Ron's ending was so disjointed, so openly incongruous that the oddest people have picked up on it.
And yet he insists that it's art, that he's happy with the story, that this is the ending he wanted. I'd say he's talking out of his ass, except I'm not sure if it's possible to do that while he's got his head lodged there.
It makes me livid to think about what he's done - and that's helping, because anger is something I can concentrate on.
And I can’t tell you how glad I am that you didn’t watch the finale. I was more prepared than some - but nowhere near enough. All it did is give me enough distance to make sure I never watch the finale - so I can't see the mangled carcass he left where there was once a good show.
Burning DVDs or deleting all footage from my hard drive won’t solve
( ... )
You can't let him suppress your gift for vidding. RDM savaged every female character on the show, and Kara more than any other; I refuse to let him make you a victim as well. Your vidding ability comes from the love and devotion you put in When it comes to this disaster from my perspective: one can not love and then turn the feeling off. I may bitch about the finale and be furious all I want, but in the end I can’t stop loving Lee and Kara… product of RDM’s creation, BSG’s universe. So a part of me is forever stuck in BSG world, it’s locked there and can’t escape, like Kara was in Leoben’s cell. I can’t escape from the fact that RDM not only treated her like trash, he also never allowed her to express her feelings towards Lee whereas I FELT in my bones that she needed that more than anything since Maelstrom. She needed at least that kind of freedom if not the freedom to stay with him - one last time, for just a moment she needed not to hold back. *Here, I’m on the verge of falling apart again, right as I’m typing it my throat is
( ... )
Oh dear. I was waiting for your post because you were so so sure that the end was going to have pilots together either happily or in death when we were commenting back and forth last week on my fic
( ... )
Oh dear. I was waiting for your post because you were so so sure that the end was going to have pilots together either happily or in death when we were commenting back and forth last week on my fic.
Yes, I was. Because only something like that would’ve been a logical closure that would’ve given pilots justice and not massacred them and the importance of their connection to pieces.
Ironic now that we were debating if it would be selfish of Kara to ask Lee to forget about her when apparently all she wanted to be was REMEMBERED (if you believe RDM--WHICH I DO NOT.) So what do you think, is that more or less selfish than wanting him to forget her?I saw red before my eyes when I heard this shit of an “insight” about the fact that she wanted to be remembered! I can’t tell you if it’s selfish or not because it’s not even KARA!!! I’ll never take it seriously, because she’d never say something like that and those who know her at least as well as… I don’t know - an average fan! - would tell you her greatest fear was about something entirely
( ... )
Your anger is righteous. The more I think about, the worse I feel. I've been livid for the past five days now. Just that she got so used as a stupid tool of destiny (and Lee too.) Terrible. So wrong and disrespectful for the characters. I think Ron came to hate Kara and Kara/Lee and I don't understand why. But I'm done with him. I'm trying to get to a place where I can just dismiss this ending and pretend it never happened. (Hard because I'm a canon whore and to dismiss it when I know it exists seems a little like cheating. But it's tough to respect an ending where NO AUTHORIAL CHOICES were made and nothing reinforced what came before (especially for these two, but also for Laura and for the fact that everyone went off separately, so stupid) or the themes that were so essential to this show. BLEGH.
Your anger is righteous. The more I think about, the worse I feel. I've been livid for the past five days now. Just that she got so used as a stupid tool of destiny (and Lee too.) Terrible. So wrong and disrespectful for the characters. I think Ron came to hate Kara and Kara/Lee and I don't understand why. But I'm done with him
( ... )
Привет! Ты подписана на мой дневник на http://www.diary.ru. Мне очень жаль, что ты так расстроена. Я понимаю твои чувства и в какой-то мере разделаю. Но у меня другая перспектива и другое видение ситуации. Я не знаю, поможет тебе это или, наоборот, сильнее расстроит, но... Я у себя в дневнике мысли на тему финала сериала изложила. Если рискнёшь - почитай. Вдруг тебе немного легче станет на душе. :)
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I was so worried for you after I realised the finale was everything I'd feared it would (and wouldn't) be, because you, more than anyone, kept that shining hope alive--so strong that even *I* nearly got talked round into it again! I can't imagine the shock with which this must have hit you. But I admire you so much for believing until the end. I don't think it's 'stupid' to have hope (though I know I've cursed myself for having it at times!) because I think you are loving with all your heart, just like in your vids--you poured yourself into this show, these characters, this ship with everything you had and that's why they are so amazing. MORE AMAZING than the show!
I’m left wondering if it is all just the worst nightmare imaginable and maybe I’ll wake up soon. I know that feeling.. I have woken up thinking about BSG every morning for over a week and the horrible reality comes thudding back to me each ( ... )
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No one could imagine how bad it would Really be. Anders isn’t what’s eating most of us at all. Indifference and cruelty towards two amazing characters that can’t be justified *is*.
But it’s great that you were at least prepared more than others. And I can’t tell you how glad I am that you didn’t watch the finale.
At this point I don't have a single positive feeling towards RDM - even when I'm managing to hide behind simple numbness, I see how much my friends are hurting and I want to nail him to the wall using iron spikes through his eye sockets.Could you do that to my brain with those iron spikes please? It’s flooded with poisoned imagery that doesn’t leave me alone and haunts me even in my dreams. Burning DVDs or deleting all footage from my hard drive won’t solve anything, because the vision in my head is too fucking real and vivid ( ... )
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Some of the reactions have been downright surprising. People I never expected to have any sympathy for Lee are suddenly acting like human beings towards him. Ron's ending was so disjointed, so openly incongruous that the oddest people have picked up on it.
And yet he insists that it's art, that he's happy with the story, that this is the ending he wanted. I'd say he's talking out of his ass, except I'm not sure if it's possible to do that while he's got his head lodged there.
It makes me livid to think about what he's done - and that's helping, because anger is something I can concentrate on.
And I can’t tell you how glad I am that you didn’t watch the finale.
I was more prepared than some - but nowhere near enough. All it did is give me enough distance to make sure I never watch the finale - so I can't see the mangled carcass he left where there was once a good show.
Burning DVDs or deleting all footage from my hard drive won’t solve ( ... )
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Yes, I was. Because only something like that would’ve been a logical closure that would’ve given pilots justice and not massacred them and the importance of their connection to pieces.
Ironic now that we were debating if it would be selfish of Kara to ask Lee to forget about her when apparently all she wanted to be was REMEMBERED (if you believe RDM--WHICH I DO NOT.) So what do you think, is that more or less selfish than wanting him to forget her?I saw red before my eyes when I heard this shit of an “insight” about the fact that she wanted to be remembered! I can’t tell you if it’s selfish or not because it’s not even KARA!!! I’ll never take it seriously, because she’d never say something like that and those who know her at least as well as… I don’t know - an average fan! - would tell you her greatest fear was about something entirely ( ... )
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Ты подписана на мой дневник на http://www.diary.ru.
Мне очень жаль, что ты так расстроена. Я понимаю твои чувства и в какой-то мере разделаю. Но у меня другая перспектива и другое видение ситуации. Я не знаю, поможет тебе это или, наоборот, сильнее расстроит, но... Я у себя в дневнике мысли на тему финала сериала изложила. Если рискнёшь - почитай. Вдруг тебе немного легче станет на душе. :)
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