things are changing. thursday i got the bad news that anthony's mom had passed away from breast cancer. i pretty much couldnt do anything the rest of the day i was just in too much shock. i still see the guys and stuff but i still feel left out, i never get calls from any of them at all, like to go get food, or anything. oh well i guess. the ( Read more... )

dont leave me

so things are good/bad ( Read more... )

all i want is her, i seem to mess things up constantly. Its horrible, i just wish things worked out how i hoped, not saying that how things are now are bad its just hard.

so last night, i had a party for ryan, for his 19th birthday. and its been the most normal time ive had with all of them. it was a lot of fun though, and im glad it happened. so now im sitting here, i just cooked myself some dinner, and im stuffed. so brittany comes out one week from today, its gonna be wierd, it happened to fast. im looking ( Read more... )

i would like my friends and my old life back, kthanks

as i sit here, at 4 am, in this hotel room i cant stop thinking that im somehow losing my best friends. It seems like ive become an outcast, like i dont fit in with the very group of people ive spent my whole life with. I have made some other friends, but they live in other states. I feel like i havent seen or really hung out with ryan since ( Read more... )

i fucked up

Is it pathetic that I wait by my phone for her to text or call me, and when it doesn't happen I get super bummed, who am I to think that she still has feelings?

so i got offered a job for stagecoach ie. country version of coachella, selling water. im excited and bummed at the same time, im missin mic and ginnys wedding. but i could really use the money, i wont be making nearly as much money as i did at coachella, but im working with jared and kayte, so it should be fun. i get back monday afternoon, i ( Read more... )