ok, i admit it. i want to move back to the pnw and i am gonna (eventually). i would give up on wanting this because i am afraid of your reaction.
i also really like this alec person. we have a lot of the same values/likes/etc so far. also he is really cute and throws no red flags. and i don't mean hanky codes. i talk myself out of believing anything could come of it because i would be devastated to fall in love again and get hurt/be disappointed and also because i really do want to have something so good. it is scary to want. i visited him and being in PDX (aside from hanging out with him) threw me into a serious "what the fuck am i doing in CA" funk. i *loved* seattle, and every part of PDX reminded me of seattle, minus the painful no-bruno, no-aradia memories.
anyway, it is so much easier not to care, not to want. but i am sick of that shit. i want. i care. i do.
this is way too honest and revealing for LJ. but yanno, i'm saying it anyway.
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i want to move back to the pnw and i am gonna (eventually). i would give up on wanting this because i am afraid of your reaction.
i also really like this alec person. we have a lot of the same values/likes/etc so far. also he is really cute and throws no red flags. and i don't mean hanky codes. i talk myself out of believing anything could come of it because i would be devastated to fall in love again and get hurt/be disappointed and also because i really do want to have something so good. it is scary to want.
i visited him and being in PDX (aside from hanging out with him) threw me into a serious "what the fuck am i doing in CA" funk.
i *loved* seattle, and every part of PDX reminded me of seattle, minus the painful no-bruno, no-aradia memories.
anyway, it is so much easier not to care, not to want. but i am sick of that shit. i want. i care. i do.
this is way too honest and revealing for LJ. but yanno, i'm saying it anyway.
i love you.
hope you don't hate me now.
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