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On Loneliness
Loneliness is sometimes a welcome thing. Tonight, in the rain, I felt sad and all alone. I felt pangs of sadness for a single life that would include late nights at bars and stumbling home in a beautiful neighborhood of san francisco. how fun that must be. And then I felt lonely, walking the streets by myself. but its a good thing. The ( Read more... ) -
The Sun
I remember a lovely afternoon in Davis. Sitting on my apartment balcony, the temperature was perfectly comfortable. Not too hot, not too cold in the sun. A glass of water sat on the table next to me. There was a breeze I remember, but it was quiet. The world outside was not distracting, it was calming. And I sat on this balcony with The Sun ( Read more... ) -
Never too late for a resolution list
Its never too late for a fresh start. And these items have been circling round 'n round in my head since December 30th probably. But, really in general i'm working on things to make me a better person. However, for documentation purposes here goes ( Read more... ) -
Happy List
Since my bestest friend in the whole world did this, I think I need to do this too ( Read more... ) -
breaking the habit
Ah man. I am in the midst of trying to break my habit of checking out wedding blogs. In part because, well, I'm already married. enough said, right ( Read more... ) -
oh Sob story of feeling left out
Aw man. So, I've been looking at pictures of one of my hula sister's wedding. A wedding that I was not invited to. One of the only ones on the pro team that was not invited. True: we are not close. but either are some of the other people invited. True: I didn't invite her to my wedding. But when you're inviting almost everyone on the pro ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
"In the end, though, maybe we must all give up trying to pay back the people in this world who sustain our lives. In the end, maybe its wiser to surrender before the miraculous scope of human generosity and to just keep saying thank you, forever and sincerely, for as long we have voices ( Read more... ) -
Budget Crisis
I just went over the numbers with my HBO on the wedding budget. Adding up only the essentials we are already over our "budget" which wasn't firm in the first place, which was probably my first mistake ( Read more... ) -
Am I being too sensitive?
So, the weight of wedding planning is almost crushing. To the point of where I'm thinking it might be best if take a 1month or 2 month break from hula and hope for the best that I don't gain 20 lbs. But, thats beside the point. On top of this, I feel that one of the most important people in my life feels distant. It feels like she dismisses ( Read more... ) -
lost
Ugh. I'm so annoyed. I'm just poopey all the time and I feel this animosity toward my HBO. Things that he says or does. He's not affectionate enough, it doesn't seem like he's attracted to me. I'm not getting enough attention. Its enough to annoy probably anyone. ugh ( Read more... )