i thought this journal would be a good idea ( Read more... )

i believe you.
i know you care.
you just have a difficult time showing it.
i know you never meant to hurt me.
i know i-
never mind...

i want to be someplace where no one i knew can ever find me. esther greenwood, you were right all along.

things that make me happy ( Read more... )

nature compensates for its mistakes.

this night never happened ( Read more... )

and it's ok to be angry. but action- we are not women of action. we are not permitted to be. and while i rarely find myself only doing what i am permitted to do, in the most literal sense, most women of action end up in jail.

if i didn't trust him, i would think he was the most manipulative person i've ever met.
but i do trust him. and things are better now... i hope...

I hate this.
I hate you.
I hate you so much...
This cage will kill me. It just occurred to me. Heh, took me long enough. To think that I could actually be happy... about anything... and then a panic attack ensued.
I don't want this. Or anyone. I don't need anyone. I don't want anyone...

i told him. and it was a mistake. yes: he wants to be with me, too. but what am i expecting, really? now that he knows. it's a delicate situation. i don't know what he wants...he's hard to read, really...i don't know what i want either. this is coming out wrong. i told him and it was wonderful. it's just the aftermath of the decision that concerns