"sometimes my words decieveme because I use the wrong ones"

"sometimes I steal little things from my friends to remember them...
like their wallets and their credit cards."

"All the hair in front of me is either gray, white, or missing ( Read more... )

"all I do is sit on the floor and not have running water."
Lamesauce!!

"Zack, don't eat your book honey."

"If you don't think you can learn anything new, become a couch."

"But Mary gave birth to Jesus. From her vaginal canal."

the violin shaped violin....
(followed by a series of traded noises and random french recipes)

"I used to have an obsession with the dog but now i've tamed it."
[pause]
"The dog or the obsession?"

"Dude, she broke the room!"

"Shit, that's one janky bull..."

"Better keep a bandaid on your thumb or it might rub off!"
"Oh to return to the primitive stage of thumblessness."

"i have to enyoing the deam heat. hell yeap!"

"OH NO, I broke my salmon!"

Eaglet: a mini eagle....

that was SOOO a swinglet
stop oodling around...You oodling oodler. Or I will poke your boob harder than Uncle Sam.

I am not sleeping in a patch of hearts of romain tonight!

I want a SCREECHING WEASEL! ....with birds