just that one thing, one thing that was what you THOUGHT and entirely convinced yourself was what you wanted, what you needed. how can i feel so releived to be rid of something i was so sure of. its almost as if after the fact, you realize what it was you were taking in all that time, how that well was using all its water, and being provided with ( Read more... )

ive lost everything in the last 60 seconds, and im still spinning. its like the hole that was already there, was just made a hell of alot bigger. i wonder if soon enouph it will grow big enouph to consumne me entirely. it just seems like noone gives a shit about anyone or anything today. it was never worth it to me to loose a part of myself, ive ( Read more... )

one incident in the past little while has becomne something ive smowhat repressed and cant help thinking has ruined the way alot of things were. i did something i shouldnt have with someone i really shouldnt have and now i dont know if i can help what ive chaged in doing it. ive developed some feelings, which ive been trying to deny, even to myself ( Read more... )

have u ever jus felt like everything that used to matter doesnt anymore. that everone u wanted to be close to jus kind of faded away, yet still were there. nothing ever stays the same and life and friends are fikle and so is the mind. im slipping away from my own becasue i dont know who or what i am anymore. im so lost and and i cant find anyone to ( Read more... )

im 3/4 done my summershitschool, nad its 4:00pm friday im drunk and stoned, and contemplating the nothingness my life seems to revolve entirely around. TO complete the grand cycle of fuck my life seems to be spiraling into theres always seems to be that big eerie face grinnig above me telling me its going to get me. plus im gonna end up in jail ( Read more... )

Lately Ive been realizing actually how much my life has changed. Ive heard from a couple people, close friends, and just fuckers who pretend they know me how much I'VE changed, but really I dont think Ive changed at all, and I think in this issue my opinion is more important than yours, so:P but i can admit, with a little exaustion, that my ( Read more... )

as in times when you lisen to large amounts of bob marley and smoke large amounts or herbs, rantings are required. If it isnt just pms i think another undetermined source has decided to fuck with my moods, if you havnt noticed ive crowned myslef the new princess of mood swings, ruled by my sister the queen. holy crap. although the root is still ( Read more... )

my testimony to hatred of computers has been confirmed in its complete fuck-retard state of not allowing me to access my internet at the prior time. apparently my internet connection seems to be "down" and yet, somehow i am still able to download music. bitchass technolodgey ( Read more... )

Happiness to me is a warm Gun, or at least when Oma's here, the mere thought of never seeing her again brightens my whole day, as bad as it sounds. Christmas was as usuall, got to see my spoiled cousins open a billion presents theyll never use or give two shits about, got to hear omas manipulative whining during the entire joyous "holliday", which ( Read more... )

I have just decided reeeally hot baths are not a good thing. I Think i just took the HOTTEST (non-sexual) bath of my life... I Was lying in the Water and I could feel my Heart beating then it started getting hard to breathe. So I got out. Theeeen I got reeeally dizzy and passed out on the Floor for ten minutes when I woke up I could hardly ( Read more... )