Fic: Trace This Life Back (Torchwood Jack/Ianto PG Time Verse)
Title: Trace This Life Back
Author: magikalrhiannon
Fandom: Torchwood AU
Verse: Time Verse
Pairing: Jack/Ianto
Rating: PG
Spoilers: All up to Season 2 Ep 11 Adrift
Summary: Ianto finds something in Jack's closet.
Word Count: 1975
Disclaimer: All rights belong to BBC and Russell T Davies. I'm just finger-painting in someone else's masterpiece. No infringement intended.
Notes: For kajmere, cuz she owns me. You will need to read Adrift In Time for this to make any sense.
Follows Calling The Timelord
Ianto woke up in Jack's bed alone. He turned his head and saw a note sitting on his empty pillow.
Ianto,
Had to go to a meeting with the Head. Should be back before lunch. Get some more sleep. Don't study that brilliant brain away... I have plans for it later.
I love you,
J x
Ianto smiled and stretched languidly, enjoying the pull on sleepy muscles as they became taut then relaxed. Sighing, he got up and padded to the bathroom to take a shower. He washed efficiently, not bothering to wank himself, knowing full well that Jack will take care of that personally on his return. Instead, he washed his hair, rinsed and basked in the heavy spray of the water pressure that the Professors enjoyed, compared to the students dormitories' shared accommodations and bathrooms. When he finally shut off the water, he grabbed a towel and dried off, tied it around his waist and wandered into Jack's room. He opened the closet in search of something to wear, and that was when he saw it.
The black sports bag.
Ianto blinked. It looked familiar. He had one of those. Years ago, back on Earth. He'd kept it in his closet. He'd stored his... No. No way. There was no way possible that was his sports bag from his closet on Earth.
He closed the door and stared at it. Then he turned away, and covered his face with his hands. Dragging in his breath and letting it out harshly, he moved his hands and turned back, opening the door again. It was still there. Of course it was. What was it going to do, vanish? Ianto thought to himself.
With a trembling hand, he reached out and picked up the bag and carried it over to Jack's bed, sitting it on the edge. He turned away and chewed on his thumbnail. Maybe it wasn't his bag. It was a common, nondescript black sports bag. He'd bought one like it for that reason alone. So if someone saw it in his closet (read Lisa, or Rhiannon), they wouldn't look inside, they would think it was full of old smelly gym gear and just toss it, rather than his most precious belongings... His inner most thoughts.
He looked back at it. Maybe Jack had bought a similar bag with him from Earth for his clothes or...
But Ianto knew Jack. When he ran from Earth to the Doctor last time, he ran with a glass jar of the Doctor's hand and a backpack, not a sports bag.
Ianto glared at it. It was mocking him, he was sure of it.
He dragged in a deep breath. The only thing to do was to breach Jack's privacy - not that Jack ever minded breaching his. He remembered the time he found Ianto's diary in his office, though why it had been in Jack's office was still a puzzle.
"Measuring tapes never lie," Jack had quipped.
There had been no measuring his level of mortification that day. Definite loss of dignity - yet another 'business as usual' for Torchwood.
Ianto sat down beside the bag and sighed. "You're just going to sit there and drive me slowly insane until I open you, aren't you?" he asked the bag. He rolled his eyes. "Fuck, I'm already insane! I'm talking to a bloody bag. Right. Buggar this." He opened the bag and ducked a little, feeling foolish.
When nothing happened, he sat upright, feeling infinity glad that he was alone, and peered inside.
It was his bag from Earth. Inside were piles of diaries, neatly stacked in chronological order. Ianto noted that they had all been read repeatedly, though some more than others, judging by the finger prints, tear stains, faded ink and... was that blood? Ianto looked at the faded photographs that fell out of a couple of the books, also with fingerprint smudges on them from years of incorrect handling.
Ianto's heart broke at the evidence of Jack's clinging to him for two centuries. Tears stung his eyes, flooding his vision and spilling down his cheeks. His Jack, hurting... over him. Reading over and over about his insecurities and his observations of Jack's attraction to Gwen, his musing about Captain John Hart and how could Jack ever be attracted to that demented, murderous neanderthal? Pouring out his own mistrust of Jack's ability to feel the same level of love for him that he felt for Jack when it was abundantly clear, now, that Ianto had no idea the depths of love that Jack felt for him.
Ianto didn't know how to feel. He didn't know what to think anymore. He just knew he had to get out of there, before Jack came back. He needed time, he needed space, he needed air.
He quickly stacked the diaries back up and put them back in the bag, zipping it closed. He went to the bathroom and washed his face, then came back out, dressing in the clothes he wore the night before. He shoved his feet into his shoes and was in the lounge room grabbing his bag when Jack came in.
"Hey! I thought you'd still be asleep," Jack smiled, closing the door behind him.
"I, ah, I gotta hit the library," Ianto said distractedly, moving towards the door.
Jack frowned and reached out to stop him. "Hey, you okay?"
Ianto nodded once. "Yep."
Jack studied him. "No, you're not. What is it? Don't lie to me."
"I'm fine. I just need to study," Ianto said, trying to move to the door.
"No, hey c'mon. You know the material and anyway, you're withdrawing from the course after exams. But forgetting that, you won't meet my eyes. Dammit, Ianto! I said, don't lie to me! What is it? What happened?"
Jack looked so anguished that Ianto dropped his bag to the floor and slumped back against the wall.
He looked at the floor. "I found the sports bag."
Jack froze. "Oh." Jack nodded and moved further into the room, shrugging his greatcoat off and hanging it up on the coat hook. "Did you look inside?"
"Yep," Ianto nodded. "Found my diaries."
"See what else?" Jack asked, his back still to Ianto.
Ianto shook his head. "No."
"Okay." Jack leaned on the back of his office chair. "When I went to your flat, I took the things I didn't think you'd want Rhiannon to find." He blew out a breath and turned to face Ianto. "I took a few things to remind me of you. Of us."
"You took my diaries."
"Yes."
Ianto looked up. "Why?"
"I wanted you. You were ripped from me. Your diaries were all that was left of you. It was like having a tiny piece of you left, speaking to me. I didn't want anyone else to have them. I'm sorry if that was selfish, but... I needed you. I needed you with me."
"You read them."
"Yes," Jack nodded.
"All of them."
"Yes."
"Repeatedly."
"Yes." Jack was starting to get choked up.
"Why is there blood on them?" Ianto asked flatly.
Jack cracked. He shook his head, starting to cry. "Don't. Don't ask me that. Ask me anything else. Anything at all. But don't ask me that." He didn't wipe the tears away as they streamed down his face. "Please Ianto."
"You've read everything, Jack. You know everything about me. Tell me. Why is there blood on them?"
Jack shook his head. "The day you tell me about Havaasana, I'll tell you that."
Ianto strode over to him. "Promise me."
Jack reached out and cupped his face. "I promise. Please, forgive me for taking your things. I just needed you with me."
"Jack," Ianto kissed him, sweeping his tongue into Jack's mouth, caressing his as he wiped Jack's tears away with his thumbs.
"I'm sorry... I needed you," Jack whispered against Ianto's cheek, his hands grabbing at his shirt, bunching it in his fingers as he buried his face in Ianto's neck, sobbing.
"Jack...shhh cariad, it's okay," Ianto soothed. "I'm here, Jack. I'm here and we're together now."
Jack pulled back to look at him, his eyes wild as he nodded. He cupped Ianto's face. "You're here now."
"We're together, Jack."
He nodded. "Together." He rested his forehead against Ianto's. "You were going to leave."
Ianto breathed Jack in, held his breath and let it out. "I was overwhelmed. I... I was ashamed."
"Ashamed? Yan, why?" Jack asked, lifting his head.
Ianto looked away. "You... You read them. They're private, Jack."
"They're you," Jack whispered.
Ianto shook his head. "You read about my mistrust, my insecurities..."
Jack kissed his nose. "I read about your faith in me, your ability to love me despite my lack of communication."
"But... what about the stuff about Gwen, about Captain Fuckface-"
Jack laughed. "Oh man, that was a really apt nickname for him, by the way. You have no idea how much that made me laugh until I cried when I read that."
"Yes, well. He is a fuckface. 'Eyecandy' indeed. Only you are allowed to turn me into a glorified sex object." Ianto paused then looked at Jack. "Oh, Jack, tell me you didn't-"
"I didn't have rebound, or any other kind of sex with Captain Fuckface, I promise. Not that he didn't offer. He did."
Ianto narrowed he eyes. "What did you do?"
Jack grinned. "I set Cupid on his ass. Those cherubs just love Captain Fuckface."
"I have a feeling that's a long and involved story for another time," Ianto said, settling in the warmth of Jack's embrace, breathing in his scent and basking in its comfort.
"Yeah. It's a good story though."
"Jack, stop talking about Captain Fuckface."
"Sorry." Jack sighed and hugged Ianto tighter to him. "You sure you're not mad about the diaries?"
Ianto pulled back to look at Jack in eyes. "I'm not mad. I just..."
"You have nothing to be embarrassed about, Ianto. Honestly. I... if anything, I felt humbled when I read them. To see myself through your eyes... it made me miss you more. I don't think anyone has ever appreciated me as much as you have." Jack kissed him softly. Ianto pressed harder into the kiss, biting at Jack's lip to encourage him to open up. When he did, he deepened the kiss, tangling his tongue with Jack's, moaning at the feeling of being home.
Jack walked him backwards towards the bedroom, kissing him as he undressed him. Ianto started to unbutton Jack's shirt and pulled at his braces, getting them caught on his arms, making them both laugh. As they crashed onto Jack's bed, half dressed and chuckling, Jack's eyes caught the bag.
“Oh, hey. There's something I've been meaning to ask you about. For centuries actually.”
Ianto raised an eyebrow. “What's that?”
Jack reached into the bag and fumbled around until he found his prize, pulling it out with a gleeful, “A ha! This!” and brandished the red U.N.I.T. Beret, causing Ianto to burst out laughing and grab a pillow to smack over Jack's head. “Ow! Aw c'mon! You can be the soldier and I'll be the alien invading Earth! Practice your interrogation techniques, it'll be fun!”
“Jack Harkness, I cannot believe of all the things in my apartment you chose to take with you, the U.N.I.T. beret that Martha sent me at your request for your sexual gratification was one of them!” He paused. “No, wait! I can believe it!” Jack just grinned and waggled his eyebrows at Ianto suggestively as Ianto grabbed the beret and started to twirl it on his finger. He huffed. “Red is my colour.”
“I knew you'd see it my way.” Jack grinned.
Ianto answered him by shoving it in his mouth and pushing him off the bed, laughing.
Next story in the Time Verse: How To Win Friends And Infuriate People
Author: magikalrhiannon
Fandom: Torchwood AU
Verse: Time Verse
Pairing: Jack/Ianto
Rating: PG
Spoilers: All up to Season 2 Ep 11 Adrift
Summary: Ianto finds something in Jack's closet.
Word Count: 1975
Disclaimer: All rights belong to BBC and Russell T Davies. I'm just finger-painting in someone else's masterpiece. No infringement intended.
Notes: For kajmere, cuz she owns me. You will need to read Adrift In Time for this to make any sense.
Follows Calling The Timelord
Ianto woke up in Jack's bed alone. He turned his head and saw a note sitting on his empty pillow.
Ianto,
Had to go to a meeting with the Head. Should be back before lunch. Get some more sleep. Don't study that brilliant brain away... I have plans for it later.
I love you,
J x
Ianto smiled and stretched languidly, enjoying the pull on sleepy muscles as they became taut then relaxed. Sighing, he got up and padded to the bathroom to take a shower. He washed efficiently, not bothering to wank himself, knowing full well that Jack will take care of that personally on his return. Instead, he washed his hair, rinsed and basked in the heavy spray of the water pressure that the Professors enjoyed, compared to the students dormitories' shared accommodations and bathrooms. When he finally shut off the water, he grabbed a towel and dried off, tied it around his waist and wandered into Jack's room. He opened the closet in search of something to wear, and that was when he saw it.
The black sports bag.
Ianto blinked. It looked familiar. He had one of those. Years ago, back on Earth. He'd kept it in his closet. He'd stored his... No. No way. There was no way possible that was his sports bag from his closet on Earth.
He closed the door and stared at it. Then he turned away, and covered his face with his hands. Dragging in his breath and letting it out harshly, he moved his hands and turned back, opening the door again. It was still there. Of course it was. What was it going to do, vanish? Ianto thought to himself.
With a trembling hand, he reached out and picked up the bag and carried it over to Jack's bed, sitting it on the edge. He turned away and chewed on his thumbnail. Maybe it wasn't his bag. It was a common, nondescript black sports bag. He'd bought one like it for that reason alone. So if someone saw it in his closet (read Lisa, or Rhiannon), they wouldn't look inside, they would think it was full of old smelly gym gear and just toss it, rather than his most precious belongings... His inner most thoughts.
He looked back at it. Maybe Jack had bought a similar bag with him from Earth for his clothes or...
But Ianto knew Jack. When he ran from Earth to the Doctor last time, he ran with a glass jar of the Doctor's hand and a backpack, not a sports bag.
Ianto glared at it. It was mocking him, he was sure of it.
He dragged in a deep breath. The only thing to do was to breach Jack's privacy - not that Jack ever minded breaching his. He remembered the time he found Ianto's diary in his office, though why it had been in Jack's office was still a puzzle.
"Measuring tapes never lie," Jack had quipped.
There had been no measuring his level of mortification that day. Definite loss of dignity - yet another 'business as usual' for Torchwood.
Ianto sat down beside the bag and sighed. "You're just going to sit there and drive me slowly insane until I open you, aren't you?" he asked the bag. He rolled his eyes. "Fuck, I'm already insane! I'm talking to a bloody bag. Right. Buggar this." He opened the bag and ducked a little, feeling foolish.
When nothing happened, he sat upright, feeling infinity glad that he was alone, and peered inside.
It was his bag from Earth. Inside were piles of diaries, neatly stacked in chronological order. Ianto noted that they had all been read repeatedly, though some more than others, judging by the finger prints, tear stains, faded ink and... was that blood? Ianto looked at the faded photographs that fell out of a couple of the books, also with fingerprint smudges on them from years of incorrect handling.
Ianto's heart broke at the evidence of Jack's clinging to him for two centuries. Tears stung his eyes, flooding his vision and spilling down his cheeks. His Jack, hurting... over him. Reading over and over about his insecurities and his observations of Jack's attraction to Gwen, his musing about Captain John Hart and how could Jack ever be attracted to that demented, murderous neanderthal? Pouring out his own mistrust of Jack's ability to feel the same level of love for him that he felt for Jack when it was abundantly clear, now, that Ianto had no idea the depths of love that Jack felt for him.
Ianto didn't know how to feel. He didn't know what to think anymore. He just knew he had to get out of there, before Jack came back. He needed time, he needed space, he needed air.
He quickly stacked the diaries back up and put them back in the bag, zipping it closed. He went to the bathroom and washed his face, then came back out, dressing in the clothes he wore the night before. He shoved his feet into his shoes and was in the lounge room grabbing his bag when Jack came in.
"Hey! I thought you'd still be asleep," Jack smiled, closing the door behind him.
"I, ah, I gotta hit the library," Ianto said distractedly, moving towards the door.
Jack frowned and reached out to stop him. "Hey, you okay?"
Ianto nodded once. "Yep."
Jack studied him. "No, you're not. What is it? Don't lie to me."
"I'm fine. I just need to study," Ianto said, trying to move to the door.
"No, hey c'mon. You know the material and anyway, you're withdrawing from the course after exams. But forgetting that, you won't meet my eyes. Dammit, Ianto! I said, don't lie to me! What is it? What happened?"
Jack looked so anguished that Ianto dropped his bag to the floor and slumped back against the wall.
He looked at the floor. "I found the sports bag."
Jack froze. "Oh." Jack nodded and moved further into the room, shrugging his greatcoat off and hanging it up on the coat hook. "Did you look inside?"
"Yep," Ianto nodded. "Found my diaries."
"See what else?" Jack asked, his back still to Ianto.
Ianto shook his head. "No."
"Okay." Jack leaned on the back of his office chair. "When I went to your flat, I took the things I didn't think you'd want Rhiannon to find." He blew out a breath and turned to face Ianto. "I took a few things to remind me of you. Of us."
"You took my diaries."
"Yes."
Ianto looked up. "Why?"
"I wanted you. You were ripped from me. Your diaries were all that was left of you. It was like having a tiny piece of you left, speaking to me. I didn't want anyone else to have them. I'm sorry if that was selfish, but... I needed you. I needed you with me."
"You read them."
"Yes," Jack nodded.
"All of them."
"Yes."
"Repeatedly."
"Yes." Jack was starting to get choked up.
"Why is there blood on them?" Ianto asked flatly.
Jack cracked. He shook his head, starting to cry. "Don't. Don't ask me that. Ask me anything else. Anything at all. But don't ask me that." He didn't wipe the tears away as they streamed down his face. "Please Ianto."
"You've read everything, Jack. You know everything about me. Tell me. Why is there blood on them?"
Jack shook his head. "The day you tell me about Havaasana, I'll tell you that."
Ianto strode over to him. "Promise me."
Jack reached out and cupped his face. "I promise. Please, forgive me for taking your things. I just needed you with me."
"Jack," Ianto kissed him, sweeping his tongue into Jack's mouth, caressing his as he wiped Jack's tears away with his thumbs.
"I'm sorry... I needed you," Jack whispered against Ianto's cheek, his hands grabbing at his shirt, bunching it in his fingers as he buried his face in Ianto's neck, sobbing.
"Jack...shhh cariad, it's okay," Ianto soothed. "I'm here, Jack. I'm here and we're together now."
Jack pulled back to look at him, his eyes wild as he nodded. He cupped Ianto's face. "You're here now."
"We're together, Jack."
He nodded. "Together." He rested his forehead against Ianto's. "You were going to leave."
Ianto breathed Jack in, held his breath and let it out. "I was overwhelmed. I... I was ashamed."
"Ashamed? Yan, why?" Jack asked, lifting his head.
Ianto looked away. "You... You read them. They're private, Jack."
"They're you," Jack whispered.
Ianto shook his head. "You read about my mistrust, my insecurities..."
Jack kissed his nose. "I read about your faith in me, your ability to love me despite my lack of communication."
"But... what about the stuff about Gwen, about Captain Fuckface-"
Jack laughed. "Oh man, that was a really apt nickname for him, by the way. You have no idea how much that made me laugh until I cried when I read that."
"Yes, well. He is a fuckface. 'Eyecandy' indeed. Only you are allowed to turn me into a glorified sex object." Ianto paused then looked at Jack. "Oh, Jack, tell me you didn't-"
"I didn't have rebound, or any other kind of sex with Captain Fuckface, I promise. Not that he didn't offer. He did."
Ianto narrowed he eyes. "What did you do?"
Jack grinned. "I set Cupid on his ass. Those cherubs just love Captain Fuckface."
"I have a feeling that's a long and involved story for another time," Ianto said, settling in the warmth of Jack's embrace, breathing in his scent and basking in its comfort.
"Yeah. It's a good story though."
"Jack, stop talking about Captain Fuckface."
"Sorry." Jack sighed and hugged Ianto tighter to him. "You sure you're not mad about the diaries?"
Ianto pulled back to look at Jack in eyes. "I'm not mad. I just..."
"You have nothing to be embarrassed about, Ianto. Honestly. I... if anything, I felt humbled when I read them. To see myself through your eyes... it made me miss you more. I don't think anyone has ever appreciated me as much as you have." Jack kissed him softly. Ianto pressed harder into the kiss, biting at Jack's lip to encourage him to open up. When he did, he deepened the kiss, tangling his tongue with Jack's, moaning at the feeling of being home.
Jack walked him backwards towards the bedroom, kissing him as he undressed him. Ianto started to unbutton Jack's shirt and pulled at his braces, getting them caught on his arms, making them both laugh. As they crashed onto Jack's bed, half dressed and chuckling, Jack's eyes caught the bag.
“Oh, hey. There's something I've been meaning to ask you about. For centuries actually.”
Ianto raised an eyebrow. “What's that?”
Jack reached into the bag and fumbled around until he found his prize, pulling it out with a gleeful, “A ha! This!” and brandished the red U.N.I.T. Beret, causing Ianto to burst out laughing and grab a pillow to smack over Jack's head. “Ow! Aw c'mon! You can be the soldier and I'll be the alien invading Earth! Practice your interrogation techniques, it'll be fun!”
“Jack Harkness, I cannot believe of all the things in my apartment you chose to take with you, the U.N.I.T. beret that Martha sent me at your request for your sexual gratification was one of them!” He paused. “No, wait! I can believe it!” Jack just grinned and waggled his eyebrows at Ianto suggestively as Ianto grabbed the beret and started to twirl it on his finger. He huffed. “Red is my colour.”
“I knew you'd see it my way.” Jack grinned.
Ianto answered him by shoving it in his mouth and pushing him off the bed, laughing.
Next story in the Time Verse: How To Win Friends And Infuriate People