self value

[magister]

One of my major fears is being rejected too many times when I try to do what's natural. It's not the rejection itself; it's the fact that I will run out of options. I feel like I have to show off how unique I am so that people will notice my individuality more than the mistakes I make or the obstacles I face. If I'm just like everyone else, then

Comments

The view from here . .

[miss_whiplash]

We all feel like that, deep down. I get by by viewing my job as the thing that I do to survive. I sell 21% of my time 46+ weeks per year to someone who pays me to write spreadsheets and find and solve problems. In that I sell my services to my employer, like everyone else I'm no better than a prostitute, except the hours and conditions are probably better.

I get by, especially on the more frustrating days, when I have either too much or worse too little to do, by reflecting that my time is already part of my life I have sold. I'm a professional chemist, but I earn more and get more recognition for what I do now than I ever did rotting my lungs away at a badly maintained fume cupboard.

You just have to realise you are not what you do, you are who you are to other people. It is your relationships, not your tasks that define you.

It's for a reason that the Chinese have a curse: Be careful what you wish for.

[magister]

Well, the reality seems to be this: people aren't particularly interested in me unless they value my tasks. I struggle to make the type of relationships I need because I'm not very good at any thing people want. I earn a pitiful sum of money for a guy with almost USD$100k of master's degree debt, and I get little recognition at all, walking on a constant tightrope because the profession (education) requires more skills from me than I actually have. After 9 years in the classroom, I'd like to at least show people I'm adequate

Re: The view from here . .

[miss_whiplash]

I tried teaching once, I started a PCGE to teach Chemistry. It wore me down and after six weeks I was totally exhausted; after a term a nervous wreck. I didn't survive the course and having seen how teaching has gone in the UK, 10 years down the line I'm relieved I didn't become a teacher. Many of those that did reported back after the first year that they wanted out.

I can't begin to imagine the energy you must have to even attempt to do additional activities over and beyond the teaching. I admire you for trying to acquire the skills you need to build the life you want, for not selling out and for staying true to who you are.

So many of us subsumed the dreams we had of becoming the person we wanted to be under the grind of every day life. A safety net is still a net one can be caught in.

Re: The view from here . .

[magister]

Frankly, I'm already burned out about all the other activities. I don't really care about trying to be a musician, a composer, an actor, a teacher, a counselor, or anything else. I just psych myself up to do something, and then I realize that I really never had a true calling for it in the first place