So yesterday was Chris' funeral.
I almost missed it due to travel drama. Both trains I took decided to just sit in the station for a while at various stops (it's fucking morning rush hour, what the fuuuuuuuuuuuuck??? I so loathe the mta...) and mapquest gave me the wrong fucking impression of where the church was, so when I got off at church
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..i'm the say way. i wish i could just hold you in my arms and protect you from all this sadness. love you, honey.
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I don't want us to be mad at each other...
There are so few moments in life that we are truly reminded of our fragility. I say to Jeff often, "What if I die today?" and he usually says something about how I am not going to die. I usually respond with, "How do you know?" and he responds, "How do you know you will?". Well, the point is, there is no way of knowing. SO, there is too little time to be pissy when one of us loses tact under the circumstances that make life so hard to deal with sometimes. Think of it...do we really have the right to get mad at trivial things? (I am refering to me here, by the way.) Ugh, I am not so elloquent in my current mindset, so forgive me if this seems tactless as well. It's all going to come out...I am not afraid of what I will feel, I am just afraid of when. Sorry to dump it on you, but it all came to my head while writing the begining part to you....
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