Harry Potter - "Four cigarettes in an ashtray" - Part 2 - Sirius/James/Lily/Remus - NC-17

[magnus_leo]

Title: Four cigarettes in an ashtray
Pairing: Sirius/James/Lily/Remus
Word Count: 18,337 words
Summary: Isolated from the war, tensions clash and mount, building and building; a storm in a teacup. Can four people exist in a single relationship?
Warnings: Swearing, violence, bloodplay, comeplay, betrayal, deceit, het, slash, foursome, alcohol use.

Comments

[lindsey_grrl]

God that was so beatiful and sweet and oddly IC and - fitting. I loved it. I loved the little bickering of Sirius and Lily about music, I loved how all the characters are different but at the same time complement each other... Well done. Also, the title is lovely.

[magnus_leo]

Sorry I'm ridiculously (almost a year?!) late on this (kinda forgot about this place) but thank you so much for the comment, I'm really pleased you thought they were in character :] Cheers!

[oddsbobs]

that was... huh

I liked it. Quite a lot, actually, which I didn't think I would at first, mostly because I've never read a foursome before.

But it was all IC and you really got the interactions between the various characters spot on (I love your Sirius/Lily dynamic) You did a great job at getting the unsettling feeling of being at war but doing nothing really tangible, and being holed up.

I was a little put off by the negative vibes from James/Lily before they figured out the Sirius issue, but I really think that wasn't your fault, but mine. Most of the James/Lily I read isn't so full of tension. So bravo on conveying tension! It really got to me

[magnus_leo]

Sorry for being so ridiculously late!! I kind of forgot about this place. Thank so much for the comment!

And you're right about Remus... I really need to work on balancing four characters at once, I tend to lose track of them :|

And thanks for the community! I definitely will pimp it there. Thanks so much, and especially the concrit :]

[caitlen]

Oh wow - that was awesome. All those subtext moments just came out to be fully textual and everyone was trying to ignore them, and then BOOM. Muwhahaha.

Love it! Rec'ing it on my journal :D

[magnus_leo]

Sorry about being so late :[ Thank you so much for the comment, and the rec!! Cheers :]

[poisin_no_touch]

wow.

that was like... tummy clenching sweet and sad all at the same time.

i loved your characters, james and sirius and lily and remus were all so perfectly exactly how i would have imagined them.

i want to go take a bath...

[magnus_leo]

Sorry about being almost a year late agh! Thanks for comment, I'm really glad you liked it. And, muaha, who doesn't want a bath with three people :D

[firstillusion]

"Oh. Right." Sirius' lips sag, and he seems just so young now, just drained, sweet and innocent but broken to some degree, like he's just turned back the clock and he's listening to his mother again - blood traitor, worthless, unwanted - and he's eleven and just tired of it all. "Fine," he says, "whatever. You win. That's what you want, right? I won't touch James - I won't - do anything to him. He's yours. Take him" It's too late, too goddamn late and he's been through too much.

That absolutely killed me. I don't care much for this sort of thing usually, and to be honest I would have been happy without the ending in the bath, because I absolutely loved your group dynamics *before* that. The way Lily sees it all to be about Sirius and that constant tension... great.
I particularly loved the James/Sirius. :)

[magnus_leo]

Aw, thanks so much :] And sorry for killing you hehehe. Cheers!